heat forever. Its damage is lasting and leaves black, ugly, scarred rock. My explosive anger scorches everyone in sight—my ex-wife, my son, my mother, employees—it scars them for life and leaves our relationships black and ugly. However, Christ can scrape away…scrape away the black outer covering through me as I forgive those who have made me angry and as I work to restore my relationships.”
Rob said that over the next several months and years, “God gradually revealed to me the source of my anger, which was hurt and rejection from my childhood and teenage years. When I raged at Judy, I’d been trying to control her so she couldn’t reject me. But in reality, I was making things worse.”
Rob did the difficult work necessary to tame his toxic anger, and he continues to reap the rewards. His relationship with his son is blossoming in an atmosphere of trust and loving discipline. Though Judy has remarried, the two are now able to communicate openly so they can parent productively. In fact, Judy recently wrote Rob a letter, thanking him for his compassionate and Christlike attitude in the years following their divorce.
“I’m a work in progress,” Rob told our team, concluding our inspirational visit. “I still get angry, but now I’m able to process my pain. Had it not been for your Biblical Counseling Keys, I wouldn’t have changed. They brought healing through the application of God’s Word. After years of burning others with my out-of-control anger, I finally know how to express my feelings constructively. Your ministry gave me the tools I needed. My dream now is to help others, along with their families, who are suffering just like I was.”
Although it took the loss of his marriage, Rob finally got the message. He sought help from God, enlisted the support of a Christian counselor, and took responsibility for winning back the trust and respect of those he loved. He did this by rooting out unresolved anger and gaining control over his temper. As good as that is, how much better it would have been had he faced his anger earlier and spared others the scars they now carry as a result of his out-of-control tongue.
Like a bridge subjected to repeated earthquakes, relationships will always suffer damage in the presence of unrestrained anger. Chronic anger inevitably weakens the foundation of trust. And this foundation needs to be unshakable so that close relationships can withstand life’s unpredictable tremors.
2. Anger Destroys Harmony at Work
Many people are unhappy these days and often take it out on others.
A study by Erickson and Williams-Evans (2000) revealed that 82 percent of emergency room nurses surveyed had been assaulted during their careers, and that many assaults go unreported. Only 3.6 percent of nurses surveyed felt safe from the possibility of patient assault at work. 3
Anger and aggression in the workplace are increasing, making colleagues anything but congenial . This issue makes the evening news only when anger turns to horrible violence—which, sadly, is becoming increasingly commonplace.
But for many people, low-level frustration at work—anger they feel themselves or must deal with in others—is a daily way of life that drains the workplace of the joy and satisfaction that a good day’s work should bring. In fact, American companies spend billions of dollars on legal fees, medical expenses, lost employee time, and related expenses every year dealing with the consequences of workplace anger that turns violent. 4
Yet even without physical aggression, unresolved anger among employees diminishes productivity, inhibits creativity, and limits personal success. Left unchecked, it usually costs the angry person both a good job and good references, not to mention the loss of potentially meaningful work relationships. Managers and corporate bosses certainly don’t want their company to be the next to make headlines because they allowed a conflict to turn ugly.
Dave is a good
Rob said that over the next several months and years, “God gradually revealed to me the source of my anger, which was hurt and rejection from my childhood and teenage years. When I raged at Judy, I’d been trying to control her so she couldn’t reject me. But in reality, I was making things worse.”
Rob did the difficult work necessary to tame his toxic anger, and he continues to reap the rewards. His relationship with his son is blossoming in an atmosphere of trust and loving discipline. Though Judy has remarried, the two are now able to communicate openly so they can parent productively. In fact, Judy recently wrote Rob a letter, thanking him for his compassionate and Christlike attitude in the years following their divorce.
“I’m a work in progress,” Rob told our team, concluding our inspirational visit. “I still get angry, but now I’m able to process my pain. Had it not been for your Biblical Counseling Keys, I wouldn’t have changed. They brought healing through the application of God’s Word. After years of burning others with my out-of-control anger, I finally know how to express my feelings constructively. Your ministry gave me the tools I needed. My dream now is to help others, along with their families, who are suffering just like I was.”
Although it took the loss of his marriage, Rob finally got the message. He sought help from God, enlisted the support of a Christian counselor, and took responsibility for winning back the trust and respect of those he loved. He did this by rooting out unresolved anger and gaining control over his temper. As good as that is, how much better it would have been had he faced his anger earlier and spared others the scars they now carry as a result of his out-of-control tongue.
Like a bridge subjected to repeated earthquakes, relationships will always suffer damage in the presence of unrestrained anger. Chronic anger inevitably weakens the foundation of trust. And this foundation needs to be unshakable so that close relationships can withstand life’s unpredictable tremors.
2. Anger Destroys Harmony at Work
Many people are unhappy these days and often take it out on others.
A study by Erickson and Williams-Evans (2000) revealed that 82 percent of emergency room nurses surveyed had been assaulted during their careers, and that many assaults go unreported. Only 3.6 percent of nurses surveyed felt safe from the possibility of patient assault at work. 3
Anger and aggression in the workplace are increasing, making colleagues anything but congenial . This issue makes the evening news only when anger turns to horrible violence—which, sadly, is becoming increasingly commonplace.
But for many people, low-level frustration at work—anger they feel themselves or must deal with in others—is a daily way of life that drains the workplace of the joy and satisfaction that a good day’s work should bring. In fact, American companies spend billions of dollars on legal fees, medical expenses, lost employee time, and related expenses every year dealing with the consequences of workplace anger that turns violent. 4
Yet even without physical aggression, unresolved anger among employees diminishes productivity, inhibits creativity, and limits personal success. Left unchecked, it usually costs the angry person both a good job and good references, not to mention the loss of potentially meaningful work relationships. Managers and corporate bosses certainly don’t want their company to be the next to make headlines because they allowed a conflict to turn ugly.
Dave is a good
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