I’m surprise to learn that I can.
I have no idea what time it is and the only thing I want to do is stay in bed with him. To be together, but I know I can’t. Everyone is depending on me to save them. I promised them I would and the last thing I want to do is crush their hopes and dreams.
“Lily,” Sebastian says, moaning softly.
I kiss his cheek. “Did I wake you?”
He shakes his head. “Can’t sleep.”
“Please don’t worry about me. I won’t be able to concentrate on my training if I’m worried about your worrying about me.” That sounded better in my head.
He sits up on one elbow. “As worried as I am about you, I wasn’t thinking about you. But about Renaya.”
I rest my head on his chest. “What about her?”
“I don’t like the idea of her leaving the compound. What if she gets caught by the palace guards? What if they kill her?” He shakes his head. “She’s so stubborn. She’s never been like this.”
“Sebastian, she can take care of herself.”
He doesn’t say anything, just sighs.
“If you keep acting this way toward her, she’s going to push you away. You need to trust that she will be okay. She’s a strong girl.”
“I just want to protect her.”
“I know you do, but you can’t be a police over her. You need to let her do what she feels is right or you might lose her forever.”
He buries his face in my hair. “I hate this.”
I turn his face and our lips meet. They move against each other fast and hard. I can feel all the worry and pain he has in his heart, and all I want to do is take all the hurt away. He’s right to hate all of this. I do, too. “It’ll all be over soon,” I whisper against his lips. “Then you won’t have to worry again.”
He gently pushes away from me and hugs his knees. I rest my hand on his shoulder. “It’ll be okay. You have to have faith in her. In me.”
His eyes meet mine. “I do have faith in you. I just feel so powerless. So helpless.”
“You’re not helpless. Not at all. You’ll train and be a Watcher. Everyone will count on you to protect them.”
He cups my face in his hands. “Alaric was right. You’re very brave. I wish I had your courage.”
I pull my head back, causing his hands to fall. “I’m not brave, Sebastian. Not at all. But hearing everyone’s stories ignited this flame inside me. I’m not going to stand aside when I’m the only one who can help them.” I take his chin, tilting his head up so our eyes meet. “You’re brave, too. To have gone through everything you’ve been through. You’re a much stronger person than I could ever be.”
He doesn’t say anything as he stares straight ahead, probably mulling over my words. “Thank you, Lily. I don’t know what…” His voice cracks. “I would do if I…if you…”
I put my finger on his mouth. “No negative thoughts. We’re going to be together forever, just like we promised each other.”
He smiles sadly and hauls me to his chest, giving me a sweet, passionate kiss.
***
The training room is the largest room in the entire compound. Sebastian and I seem to be late, because the area is filled with many other rebels. Most are men, but I notice quite a few women here as well, including Betha, the woman who washes the clothes here. Renaya and Alaric aren’t here. Alaric is probably at the palace and Renaya is out spying.
At the corner, I find a girl no older than twelve. I don’t think I’ve seen her before. She has short blonde hair and green eyes. Her face is dirty and her clothes appear as though they haven’t been washed in days. Just looking at her—at the state that everyone is in—makes me determined to provide these people with a better life. I examine the room to see if her parents are around, but it doesn’t look like they’re here.
I catch a few men and women glancing at me, many with awe and wonder in their eyes. When my gaze meets theirs, they bow. I want to tell them not to treat me differently. I’m just as
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