Read Online Just One Bite by Kimberly Raye - Free Book Online Page B

Unfortunately, the slimiest of them all had waltzed into my matchmaking service.
    I knew it.
    At the same time, my vamp senses had kicked into overdrive and I had this strange tickling in the pit of my stomach. A reaction that told me something was off.
    Handing the profile back to Evie, I turned and was about to step toward room A—to have a little look-see myself—when the door behind me swished open. A blast of hot summer air rushed at me as Carmen Gianno walked in.
    I forgot all about my gut feeling in favor of saving my ass. “Carmen!” I reached her in a nanosecond, my hand extended, my smile firmly in place. “I’m so glad you’re here. I’ve already got the most perfect dating prospects lined up.”
    “But I haven’t even filled out a profile.”
    “A mere formality. It’s obvious you’re a smart, sophisticated, attractive woman—the ideal of any and every man in the Dead End Dating database. I’ve already got several choice picks just for you.”
    “You do?” she asked.
    “We do?” Evie joined in.
    “You bet.” I flashed Evie a please-play-along-and-beef-up-the-DED-reputation-if-you-value-your-life glance. “We have the biggest selection of prime bachelors in the city.”
    “We do?” Evie repeated herself. Another glare and she stiffened. “I mean, of course we do.” She nodded profusely. “Biggest selection of Grade-A beefcake in the Big Apple. In the state, too, for that matter. Maybe even the country.”
    “I wouldn’t go so far as to say the entire country.” Okay, so maybe I would. “More like the entire continent. We have a vast database of men from all over the world.” All’s fair in love and the fight for one’s afterlife.
    “That’s great, but if I do this, I would really like someone local. I had a long-distance relationship with a guy I met on MySpace once. It didn’t last. He was from California.”
    “Too far away?”
    “That, and too many lies. His profile said he was six foot three with black hair and green eyes and an engineering degree. He was really four foot eleven, bald, with glasses.”
    “What about the engineering degree?”
    “He still had that, which was why I kept up the e-mail relationship. But a job loses its importance when you can’t see eye to eye on anything. Especially when you see eye to chest.”
    “I met this guy on-line once,” Evie chimed in, “who said he was a professional wrestler. He was, only it turned out he wasn’t a member of the WWF. Instead he did transvestite pool wrestling at county fairs. He was actually a pretty decent catch—good-looking, nice, funny—but I just couldn’t see myself spending my free time watching my boyfriend roll around in a bustier with another guy in a bustier.”
    “I hear ya.” I nodded. “The good ones are always transvestite pool wrestlers. Except here at Dead End Dating,” I rushed on.
    Carmen didn’t look convinced. “I’m actually feeling a little nervous about this. I don’t know if it’s such a good idea. I wouldn’t want to get stuck with another weirdo.”
    “You won’t find any weirdos here, that’s for sure.”
    At that moment, I heard a frantic pop, pop, pop that bore an odd resemblance to the opening beats of “America the Beautiful.” My attention shifted to interview room A.
    “What was that?” Carmen’s gaze followed mine.
    “Hot water heater,” I blurted. “It’s been acting up lately. Isn’t that right, Evie?” I motioned with my eyes. “Why don’t you go see if you can do something to take care of the noise? Bop it with a wrench or something.”
    “Why don’t you bop it while I get Miss Gianno, here, started on her profile.” Evie smiled innocently and reached for the paperwork.
    “Actually”—I snatched the sheets from her hand—“I’ve already made some notes online. All I need is to ask her a few questions and we’ll be all set.” I smiled at Carmen. “I know you’re busy and I didn’t want to waste any time on the preliminaries.” I