Read Online Joyful by Shelley Shepard Gray - Free Book Online Page B

looked even more irritated. “I did not, Randall. You never said anything beyond some thinly veiled promises.”
    He remembered those moments differently. “I said plenty.”
    â€œNo, you kissed me plenty.”
    He’d done a lot of things wrong, but he knew he hadn’t misjudged her responses to him. “Oh, don’t act like you didn’t like kissing me, too. We both know I treated you respectfully.”
    â€œAll I really knew was that after two years of courting, after two years of listening to vague promises, you pushed me away with little more than a fond good-bye.”
    â€œI only pushed you away because you didn’t understand how little time I had to give you. I know I hurt your feelings, but I wish you would at least try to forgive me. You have no idea what it’s like to live in a house with so many siblings depending on you.”
    â€œThat’s right. I only know what it’s like to live with a grandmother depending on me.”
    He felt his cheeks burn, but he wasn’t exactly sure if it was from embarrassment or frustration.
    He feared it was a little bit of both.
    â€œI don’t know what you want me to say,” he murmured after he settled down. “Before I broke things off, we hardly ever got to see each other anyway. I knew you were upset about it, too. Every time I told you that I couldn’t see you, you acted like I was being sneaky and devious.”
    â€œI only complained about your lack of time because you gave me no option.” Her voice became stronger. “Don’t you remember? We would have plans and then you wouldn’t show up. Or instead of spending the afternoon together you’d come over for ten minutes and a hasty kiss.”
    â€œYou’re making me sound like the worst sort of boyfriend.”
    She pursed her lips, not even trying to refute what he said. “You know what happened as much as I do, Randall. You pushed me aside with little explanation, expecting me to accept your decision without argument.”
    He wanted to gape at her. Ached to argue, to point out the inconsistencies in her argument. He feared if he did that, however, he’d have to admit that he had just as many flaws.
    And then, there they would be, rehashing everything that he’d thought a hundred times but had never had the time or the courage to tell her.
    Instead, he held his tongue. “Perhaps we should keep our conversation centered on this job after all. I thought I’d show you the house and let you know where everything is in the kitchen.”
    â€œThere is no need, Randall,” she said as she followed him back to the front door. “I know where everything is, heaven knows I’ve been here enough. All you need to do is leave me in peace and I’ll take care of the rest.”
    Her rejection stung. Though, of course, it always had stung. Knowing he was just as much at fault didn’t help him any, either.
    Taking care to keep his voice matter-of-fact, he said, “Kaylene will be home at three o’clock. Can you stay until four today?”
    â€œI can.”
    â€œIn that case, I’ll be in the barn. Come get me if you have any questions.” And because he’d done it before, he turned around and walked away.
    Leaving them both with a lot of questions and no easy answers.

chapter seven
    The moment Randall turned his back, Elizabeth walked into the wide entryway of his house and slumped against the wall, almost knocking down the black-and-white building-block quilt hanging above her head.
    Taking a quick step to the side, she exhaled and tried to regain her composure. But it was hard.
    Randall Beiler irritated her like no one else. He also made her say and do things she knew she should be embarrassed about. And she was embarrassed. She hated arguing with him. She hated that she didn’t seem able to push her hurt to one side and move forward.
    But most of all, she hated remembering