Read Online Jane of Lantern Hill by L. M. Montgomery - Free Book Online Page A
Authors: L. M. Montgomery
Ads: Link
her about this, and that hurt worse than anything else.
They all went to churchâ¦an old and big and gloomy church on a downtown street where the Kennedys had always gone. Jane was rather fond of going to church for the not very commendable reason that she had some peace there. She could be silent without someone asking her accusingly what she was thinking of. Grandmother had to let her alone in church. And if you couldnât be loved, the next best thing was to be let alone.
Apart from that Jane did not care for St. Barnabasâ. The sermon was beyond her. She liked the music and some of the hymns. Occasionally there was a line that gave her a thrill. There was something fascinating about coral strands and icy mountains, tides that moving seemed asleep, islands that lifted their fronded palms in air, reapers that bore harvest treasures home and years like shadows on sunny hills that lie.
But nothing gave Jane any pleasure today. She hated the pale sunshine that sifted down between the chilly, grudging clouds. What business had the sun even to try to shine while her fate hung in the balance like this? The sermon seemed endless, the prayers dreary, there was not even a hymn line she liked. But Jane put up a desperate prayer on her own behalf.
âPlease, dear God,â she whispered, âmake Uncle William say I neednât be sent to him . â
Jane had to live in suspense as to what Uncle William would say until the Sunday supper was over. She ate little. She sat looking at Uncle William with fear in her eyes, wondering if God really could have much influence over him. They were all thereâ¦Uncle William and Aunt Minnie, Uncle David and Aunt Sylvia, and Phyllis; and after supper they all went to the library and sat in a stiff circle while Uncle William put on his glasses and read the letter. Jane thought everyone must hear the beating of her heart.
Uncle William read the letterâ¦turned back and read a certain paragraph twiceâ¦pursed his lipsâ¦folded up the letter and fitted it into its envelopeâ¦took off his glassesâ¦put them into their case and laid it downâ¦cleared his throat and reflected. Jane felt that she was going to scream.
âI suppose,â said Uncle William at last, âthat you had better let her go.â
There was a good deal more said, though Jane said nothing. Grandmother was very angry.
But Uncle William said, âAndrew Stuart could take her altogether if he had a mind to. And, knowing him for what he is, I think he very likely would if you angered him. I agree with you, mother, that he is only doing this to annoy us, and when he sees that it has not annoyed us and that we are taking it quite calmly he will probably never bother about her again.â
Jane went up to her room and stood alone in it. She saw with eyes of despair the great, big, unfriendly place.
She saw herself in the big mirror reflected in another dim, unfriendly room.
âGod,â said Jane distinctly and deliberately, âis no good.â
CHAPTER 10
âI think your father and mother might have got on if it hadnât been for you,â said Phyllis.
Jane winced. She hadnât known that Phyllis knew about her father. But it seemed that everybody had known except her. She did not want to talk about him, but Phyllis was bent on talking.
âI donât see,â said Jane miserably, âwhy I made so much difference to them.â
âMother says your father was jealous because Aunt Robin loved you so much.â
This, thought Jane, was a different yarn from the one Agnes Ripley had told. Agnes had said her mother hadnât wanted her. What was the truth? Perhaps neither Phyllis nor Agnes knew it. Anyhow, Jane liked Phyllisâ version better than Agnesâ. It was dreadful to think you ought never to have been bornâ¦that your mother wasnât glad to have you.
âMother says,â went on Phyllis, finding that Jane had nothing to say,
They all went to churchâ¦an old and big and gloomy church on a downtown street where the Kennedys had always gone. Jane was rather fond of going to church for the not very commendable reason that she had some peace there. She could be silent without someone asking her accusingly what she was thinking of. Grandmother had to let her alone in church. And if you couldnât be loved, the next best thing was to be let alone.
Apart from that Jane did not care for St. Barnabasâ. The sermon was beyond her. She liked the music and some of the hymns. Occasionally there was a line that gave her a thrill. There was something fascinating about coral strands and icy mountains, tides that moving seemed asleep, islands that lifted their fronded palms in air, reapers that bore harvest treasures home and years like shadows on sunny hills that lie.
But nothing gave Jane any pleasure today. She hated the pale sunshine that sifted down between the chilly, grudging clouds. What business had the sun even to try to shine while her fate hung in the balance like this? The sermon seemed endless, the prayers dreary, there was not even a hymn line she liked. But Jane put up a desperate prayer on her own behalf.
âPlease, dear God,â she whispered, âmake Uncle William say I neednât be sent to him . â
Jane had to live in suspense as to what Uncle William would say until the Sunday supper was over. She ate little. She sat looking at Uncle William with fear in her eyes, wondering if God really could have much influence over him. They were all thereâ¦Uncle William and Aunt Minnie, Uncle David and Aunt Sylvia, and Phyllis; and after supper they all went to the library and sat in a stiff circle while Uncle William put on his glasses and read the letter. Jane thought everyone must hear the beating of her heart.
Uncle William read the letterâ¦turned back and read a certain paragraph twiceâ¦pursed his lipsâ¦folded up the letter and fitted it into its envelopeâ¦took off his glassesâ¦put them into their case and laid it downâ¦cleared his throat and reflected. Jane felt that she was going to scream.
âI suppose,â said Uncle William at last, âthat you had better let her go.â
There was a good deal more said, though Jane said nothing. Grandmother was very angry.
But Uncle William said, âAndrew Stuart could take her altogether if he had a mind to. And, knowing him for what he is, I think he very likely would if you angered him. I agree with you, mother, that he is only doing this to annoy us, and when he sees that it has not annoyed us and that we are taking it quite calmly he will probably never bother about her again.â
Jane went up to her room and stood alone in it. She saw with eyes of despair the great, big, unfriendly place.
She saw herself in the big mirror reflected in another dim, unfriendly room.
âGod,â said Jane distinctly and deliberately, âis no good.â
CHAPTER 10
âI think your father and mother might have got on if it hadnât been for you,â said Phyllis.
Jane winced. She hadnât known that Phyllis knew about her father. But it seemed that everybody had known except her. She did not want to talk about him, but Phyllis was bent on talking.
âI donât see,â said Jane miserably, âwhy I made so much difference to them.â
âMother says your father was jealous because Aunt Robin loved you so much.â
This, thought Jane, was a different yarn from the one Agnes Ripley had told. Agnes had said her mother hadnât wanted her. What was the truth? Perhaps neither Phyllis nor Agnes knew it. Anyhow, Jane liked Phyllisâ version better than Agnesâ. It was dreadful to think you ought never to have been bornâ¦that your mother wasnât glad to have you.
âMother says,â went on Phyllis, finding that Jane had nothing to say,
Similar Books
