you tell him doesn’t mean I’m anything like him, and I’d appreciate if you didn’t refer to me as such.” Such an insult was usually reserved among the Vespers for the harshest of arguments. No one wanted to be like Levitiqas.
Sychar held up his hands, his solid-black eyes showing me genuine apology. “Out of line. I’m sorry, Three.”
I glared at him. “What are you hiding? What did you do?”
Sychar tongued his fangs as we stared each other down for a moment, and then he sat up and leaned his elbows on his knees, blowing out a harsh breath of stress. I furrowed my eyebrows.
“How are you at keeping secrets from your Lady?”
I shook my head. “She doesn’t interrogate us like Levitiqas does to you boys. I can keep a secret, if you need me to.”
“But are you willing to keep the secret, if it’s so against the rules I could be killed for it, or worse?” The sudden darkness in his tone sent a thrill of fear through my chest. What had he done?
I swallowed hard, my heart thudding in my chest. “You’re my best friend, Sychar. I’d never tell anyone the things you confide in me.” Over the years, Sychar had confided in me often, as I’d done with him. Not a breath of any tale had crossed my lips after he told it.
He peered up at me from under his lashes, his youthful face showing a level of stress I didn’t expect. “I’ve got this tucked away in my head. I don’t think Levitiqas could torture it out of me if he tried.”
“ What do you have tucked away?” The suspense was killing me. Sychar had a secret, a dangerous one… one more dangerous than friendship with me.
He rubbed his temples and sighed again. “Look, it’s unnatural, the way we live in such solitude. The abstinence is ridiculous. I kind of… met someone.”
I blinked, and my heart dropped so hard with fear I thought I would vomit, if Vespers were capable of vomiting. My mind recoiled from the news, though not out of envy. Did Sychar know how dangerous this was? “You met someone?” My voice curled up on the end as I forced enthusiasm into the question.
“A human someone.”
I froze, my body completely rigid. Oh, no. No, no, no. My fallen creator wasn’t the only Gent to endure such a tragic end as penalty for his crimes with a human woman. My Lady told us what had happened to Nycholas… how he took a human mistress and was killed for it, and the Gents spent five years stalking down the human girl until Levi finally caught up with her and ended the chase. But my Lady also told us that the Gents might not know they had killed their brother: Levitiqas, the cruel bastard he was, wiped it from their memories so they wouldn’t remember that they were forced to murder a comrade.
Of course, my Lady tampered with my memories too, but to soothe the grief for the creator I’d lost and give me a chance at living life without him. Not because she was cruel. This was too dangerous for Sychar, and somehow my fear swelled into anger that he would dare it, when he knew what was on the line.
And yet I’d kissed, groped, and played with a human being tonight. And enjoyed it. A lot. I stuffed down the anger and forced the red from my vision. Hypocrite.
I swallowed and tried to smile. “That’s nice.” And with the repression of anger came a surge of unexpected envy that Sychar laid his hands on a woman and hadn’t even asked me if I wanted to, first.
Why should I care? Damn Jack. I didn’t want Sychar, not the way I wanted Jack. Right now, I just wanted anything, anyone who would touch me as Jack did, and fill the void in my heart. It was as though I’d run on empty, stripped of touch, for so long that I needed it like an alcoholic needs gin.
“That’s nice?” Sychar parroted as I stared vacantly at him, dwelling on the magnitude of this secret, and my fears that tumbled forth at the revelation. “I tell you I have a human girlfriend – something so against the rules it would be safer for me to fuck you, Three,and
Sychar held up his hands, his solid-black eyes showing me genuine apology. “Out of line. I’m sorry, Three.”
I glared at him. “What are you hiding? What did you do?”
Sychar tongued his fangs as we stared each other down for a moment, and then he sat up and leaned his elbows on his knees, blowing out a harsh breath of stress. I furrowed my eyebrows.
“How are you at keeping secrets from your Lady?”
I shook my head. “She doesn’t interrogate us like Levitiqas does to you boys. I can keep a secret, if you need me to.”
“But are you willing to keep the secret, if it’s so against the rules I could be killed for it, or worse?” The sudden darkness in his tone sent a thrill of fear through my chest. What had he done?
I swallowed hard, my heart thudding in my chest. “You’re my best friend, Sychar. I’d never tell anyone the things you confide in me.” Over the years, Sychar had confided in me often, as I’d done with him. Not a breath of any tale had crossed my lips after he told it.
He peered up at me from under his lashes, his youthful face showing a level of stress I didn’t expect. “I’ve got this tucked away in my head. I don’t think Levitiqas could torture it out of me if he tried.”
“ What do you have tucked away?” The suspense was killing me. Sychar had a secret, a dangerous one… one more dangerous than friendship with me.
He rubbed his temples and sighed again. “Look, it’s unnatural, the way we live in such solitude. The abstinence is ridiculous. I kind of… met someone.”
I blinked, and my heart dropped so hard with fear I thought I would vomit, if Vespers were capable of vomiting. My mind recoiled from the news, though not out of envy. Did Sychar know how dangerous this was? “You met someone?” My voice curled up on the end as I forced enthusiasm into the question.
“A human someone.”
I froze, my body completely rigid. Oh, no. No, no, no. My fallen creator wasn’t the only Gent to endure such a tragic end as penalty for his crimes with a human woman. My Lady told us what had happened to Nycholas… how he took a human mistress and was killed for it, and the Gents spent five years stalking down the human girl until Levi finally caught up with her and ended the chase. But my Lady also told us that the Gents might not know they had killed their brother: Levitiqas, the cruel bastard he was, wiped it from their memories so they wouldn’t remember that they were forced to murder a comrade.
Of course, my Lady tampered with my memories too, but to soothe the grief for the creator I’d lost and give me a chance at living life without him. Not because she was cruel. This was too dangerous for Sychar, and somehow my fear swelled into anger that he would dare it, when he knew what was on the line.
And yet I’d kissed, groped, and played with a human being tonight. And enjoyed it. A lot. I stuffed down the anger and forced the red from my vision. Hypocrite.
I swallowed and tried to smile. “That’s nice.” And with the repression of anger came a surge of unexpected envy that Sychar laid his hands on a woman and hadn’t even asked me if I wanted to, first.
Why should I care? Damn Jack. I didn’t want Sychar, not the way I wanted Jack. Right now, I just wanted anything, anyone who would touch me as Jack did, and fill the void in my heart. It was as though I’d run on empty, stripped of touch, for so long that I needed it like an alcoholic needs gin.
“That’s nice?” Sychar parroted as I stared vacantly at him, dwelling on the magnitude of this secret, and my fears that tumbled forth at the revelation. “I tell you I have a human girlfriend – something so against the rules it would be safer for me to fuck you, Three,and
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