the amazing sights and sounds. Maybe one day, far into the future, I will find courage and take a crack at it again. I miss my colorful fins. If only there was someone to help me learn about this new part of me, but I can’t exactly call up my father or grandmother and ask them. They apparently have a fight coming. I’ll only be in the way.
Chapter Ten
School Monday is a blur.
I ache all over from the attack and my red, swollen neck has to be hidden behind a trendy scarf. It’s a full-time job to not wince or cry out in pain. Not to mention, it was my second sleepless night chased by terror filled dreams and my artificial leg feels like it weighs a thousand pounds.
I keep the incident with the eels and Kona from Charlotte. For some reason, I consider last night a failed mission, one I won’t share with anyone. Revealing how badly I wanted to dive into the ocean is only going to remind me, tempt me. So I only repeat the fantasy story Mom told.
“Wow, I can’t believe your mom hooked up with a mermaid,” she says in wonder as we sit under a tree during lunch. “If I hadn’t actually seen you change, I’d suggest she was crazy. And she was out there searching for him when you had your accident. No wonder she’s so guilty and protective.”
My friend treats me the same, which is a relief. I knew I could count on her and it puts some of my fears to rest. But I’ve changed. All day the lights have been too bright, the sounds too harsh. I can’t help comparing it to the place I’ll never return. This dry existence doesn’t fit anymore. I’m a stranger to it.
I sip my iced tea before answering Charlotte, staying on topic. “I’ve always wondered why she doesn’t date. Now I know. I just wish she wouldn’t have kept it from me.”
“She was protecting you.” She pats my foot. “Besides, it’s not a simple thing to blurt out.”
“Logically, I understand that, but it’s a little different than informing me my dad is a movie star or a senator. It’s about me not being fully human anymore. It’s a big deal.”
“What are you going to do about it?”
I study her with a scowl. “What do you mean?
“Will you be a mermaid on the weekends? Don’t you want to experience this part of you?”
“I decided to check out colleges in Kansas and Colorado,” I joke half-heartedly.
“That’s the cowardly way out,” she states.
“Until you’ve spent time in my shoes, you can’t judge.” I bite out, annoyed at her cavalier attitude.
“I’m not trying to be mean. All I’m saying is you can’t walk away from this without each piece of the puzzle. What if your dad’s out there? Don’t you want to meet him?” She bit her lip. “You’re beautiful, exactly as you are, Zoey, but seeing you in that form stunned me. That is who you are supposed to be. I’m sure of it.”
“Easy for you to say,” I mutter. “It terrifies me.”
“You should at least do some research. If you know more, it might solve the problem and convince you to change again.”
The genuine concern lighting up her expression causes me to hesitate. I want it. I hate the idea of turning my back completely on the ocean, even after what happened. It’s my heritage. But when I imagine being a mermaid, anxiety squeezes me by the throat, same as that eel did. It’s a deeper fear than I had in just being afraid of the water and sharks.
I can’t answer her because I’m not sure which response will pop out, so I steer away from that landmine.
“I’m glad you aren’t treating me like a science experiment.”
She grins, flashing a dimple. “You’re my best friend, Zo. That hasn’t changed. The fact I think your secret is cool reflects more on my state of mind than yours. I’m happy you’re still here. High school would not be the same without you.”
A laugh escapes. “Likewise. Don’t worry, I’m not going anywhere.”
As I say it, though, I realize it isn’t a hundred percent honest.
I survive the day,
Chapter Ten
School Monday is a blur.
I ache all over from the attack and my red, swollen neck has to be hidden behind a trendy scarf. It’s a full-time job to not wince or cry out in pain. Not to mention, it was my second sleepless night chased by terror filled dreams and my artificial leg feels like it weighs a thousand pounds.
I keep the incident with the eels and Kona from Charlotte. For some reason, I consider last night a failed mission, one I won’t share with anyone. Revealing how badly I wanted to dive into the ocean is only going to remind me, tempt me. So I only repeat the fantasy story Mom told.
“Wow, I can’t believe your mom hooked up with a mermaid,” she says in wonder as we sit under a tree during lunch. “If I hadn’t actually seen you change, I’d suggest she was crazy. And she was out there searching for him when you had your accident. No wonder she’s so guilty and protective.”
My friend treats me the same, which is a relief. I knew I could count on her and it puts some of my fears to rest. But I’ve changed. All day the lights have been too bright, the sounds too harsh. I can’t help comparing it to the place I’ll never return. This dry existence doesn’t fit anymore. I’m a stranger to it.
I sip my iced tea before answering Charlotte, staying on topic. “I’ve always wondered why she doesn’t date. Now I know. I just wish she wouldn’t have kept it from me.”
“She was protecting you.” She pats my foot. “Besides, it’s not a simple thing to blurt out.”
“Logically, I understand that, but it’s a little different than informing me my dad is a movie star or a senator. It’s about me not being fully human anymore. It’s a big deal.”
“What are you going to do about it?”
I study her with a scowl. “What do you mean?
“Will you be a mermaid on the weekends? Don’t you want to experience this part of you?”
“I decided to check out colleges in Kansas and Colorado,” I joke half-heartedly.
“That’s the cowardly way out,” she states.
“Until you’ve spent time in my shoes, you can’t judge.” I bite out, annoyed at her cavalier attitude.
“I’m not trying to be mean. All I’m saying is you can’t walk away from this without each piece of the puzzle. What if your dad’s out there? Don’t you want to meet him?” She bit her lip. “You’re beautiful, exactly as you are, Zoey, but seeing you in that form stunned me. That is who you are supposed to be. I’m sure of it.”
“Easy for you to say,” I mutter. “It terrifies me.”
“You should at least do some research. If you know more, it might solve the problem and convince you to change again.”
The genuine concern lighting up her expression causes me to hesitate. I want it. I hate the idea of turning my back completely on the ocean, even after what happened. It’s my heritage. But when I imagine being a mermaid, anxiety squeezes me by the throat, same as that eel did. It’s a deeper fear than I had in just being afraid of the water and sharks.
I can’t answer her because I’m not sure which response will pop out, so I steer away from that landmine.
“I’m glad you aren’t treating me like a science experiment.”
She grins, flashing a dimple. “You’re my best friend, Zo. That hasn’t changed. The fact I think your secret is cool reflects more on my state of mind than yours. I’m happy you’re still here. High school would not be the same without you.”
A laugh escapes. “Likewise. Don’t worry, I’m not going anywhere.”
As I say it, though, I realize it isn’t a hundred percent honest.
I survive the day,
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