what I want,” he gritted
out, fear and anger warring within him. “All I know is that you’ve seriously
fucked with my head.”
“I see. I fucked with you .” Ainsley’s eyes
dropped to the floor as she turned away. “I’ll just get my things. I have a
flight to catch.”
Panic flooded Aric. He was so messed up inside his own head
over her that nothing he said came out right. She took a few steps away from
him and he lunged off the couch and caught her arm, spinning her around.
“No. You’re not going anywhere,” he growled, knowing he had
probably bruised her arm with his grip and confused her with his contradictory
words.
Ainsley’s eyes closed as if she couldn’t bear to see him.
“Please, Aric. This is difficult enough. Please don’t make it harder,” she
whispered.
“Why is it hard? I want to know, Ainsley. I felt all along
that there was something behind you coming here and offering to be my sub. Tell
me what’s going on.” The panic inside him raged, nibbling at his control until
fear began to creep in too.
She hung her head, the sleek, dark hair spilling over her
face. Beneath his hand, her body trembled. After a moment, she raised her head
and Aric nearly gasped aloud. Pain darkened her eyes to forest green. A white
line of tension encircled her full pink lips, making them pinched and paler
than usual. He had the fleeting thought that this was the real Ainsley, this
was the woman who’d been hiding inside his best friend for years.
She seemed almost incandescent with her heart bared for him
to finally see and he felt something inside him give way as he realized what
she’d kept hidden from him. A haunting, deep-seated yearning. Fierce emotion
and want. Endless lust and a deep agony that made his heart ache to see etched
on her face. Instantly he wanted to take her in his arms and soothe away her
hurts.
“It’s hard because I’ve spent twenty-six years dreaming
about you, waiting for something that I now know wasn’t ever going to be mine.
I spent those years hoping that one day my dreams would come true,” she rasped,
her voice rough and uneven with obviously suppressed tears. “They’re all gone
now. I really tried to make them happen. I came here with that express purpose
but—” She broke off on a shrug, pulling her arm free of his grasp. “All I’ve
done is forced the truth to the surface and that’s ended all my hopes for the
future.”
At that moment, her words came back to Aric, the words she’d
spoken at the bar when he’d asked her why she’d offered herself to him. “Because
this is who I have always longed to be. Who you never let me be.”
Damn it! He’d misunderstood her! He’d thought she wanted to
explore submission but she’d meant that she longed to be with him in whatever
way he would have her. She’d longed to belong to him and he’d never noticed.
He’d never looked beyond the façade she’d always presented to him. He had never
gathered up his courage, set aside the fact that they were best friends and
thought about whether she could want him the way he’d always wanted her. He’d
known forever that he wanted her but he’d always been too afraid to act on his
attraction. Two nights ago in Insolence, Ainsley had been the one to act on the
feelings that had always simmered beneath the surface between them. He’d still
been in denial.
Swallowing, she drew a shaky breath, her gaze boring into
his. “Didn’t you ever wonder, Aric? Didn’t you ever stop to think that maybe
there was something more to me than what you saw? All I ever wanted in life was
to come home to you. Why do you think I used to hang out at your house all the
time? It had nothing to do with my parents’ divorce. It had everything to do
with you . I felt like I belonged when I was with you.”
Shoulders drooping, her gaze fell again and she turned away,
taking a couple of steps toward the door before stopping. “I waited a long time
before I gave up my virginity because
out, fear and anger warring within him. “All I know is that you’ve seriously
fucked with my head.”
“I see. I fucked with you .” Ainsley’s eyes
dropped to the floor as she turned away. “I’ll just get my things. I have a
flight to catch.”
Panic flooded Aric. He was so messed up inside his own head
over her that nothing he said came out right. She took a few steps away from
him and he lunged off the couch and caught her arm, spinning her around.
“No. You’re not going anywhere,” he growled, knowing he had
probably bruised her arm with his grip and confused her with his contradictory
words.
Ainsley’s eyes closed as if she couldn’t bear to see him.
“Please, Aric. This is difficult enough. Please don’t make it harder,” she
whispered.
“Why is it hard? I want to know, Ainsley. I felt all along
that there was something behind you coming here and offering to be my sub. Tell
me what’s going on.” The panic inside him raged, nibbling at his control until
fear began to creep in too.
She hung her head, the sleek, dark hair spilling over her
face. Beneath his hand, her body trembled. After a moment, she raised her head
and Aric nearly gasped aloud. Pain darkened her eyes to forest green. A white
line of tension encircled her full pink lips, making them pinched and paler
than usual. He had the fleeting thought that this was the real Ainsley, this
was the woman who’d been hiding inside his best friend for years.
She seemed almost incandescent with her heart bared for him
to finally see and he felt something inside him give way as he realized what
she’d kept hidden from him. A haunting, deep-seated yearning. Fierce emotion
and want. Endless lust and a deep agony that made his heart ache to see etched
on her face. Instantly he wanted to take her in his arms and soothe away her
hurts.
“It’s hard because I’ve spent twenty-six years dreaming
about you, waiting for something that I now know wasn’t ever going to be mine.
I spent those years hoping that one day my dreams would come true,” she rasped,
her voice rough and uneven with obviously suppressed tears. “They’re all gone
now. I really tried to make them happen. I came here with that express purpose
but—” She broke off on a shrug, pulling her arm free of his grasp. “All I’ve
done is forced the truth to the surface and that’s ended all my hopes for the
future.”
At that moment, her words came back to Aric, the words she’d
spoken at the bar when he’d asked her why she’d offered herself to him. “Because
this is who I have always longed to be. Who you never let me be.”
Damn it! He’d misunderstood her! He’d thought she wanted to
explore submission but she’d meant that she longed to be with him in whatever
way he would have her. She’d longed to belong to him and he’d never noticed.
He’d never looked beyond the façade she’d always presented to him. He had never
gathered up his courage, set aside the fact that they were best friends and
thought about whether she could want him the way he’d always wanted her. He’d
known forever that he wanted her but he’d always been too afraid to act on his
attraction. Two nights ago in Insolence, Ainsley had been the one to act on the
feelings that had always simmered beneath the surface between them. He’d still
been in denial.
Swallowing, she drew a shaky breath, her gaze boring into
his. “Didn’t you ever wonder, Aric? Didn’t you ever stop to think that maybe
there was something more to me than what you saw? All I ever wanted in life was
to come home to you. Why do you think I used to hang out at your house all the
time? It had nothing to do with my parents’ divorce. It had everything to do
with you . I felt like I belonged when I was with you.”
Shoulders drooping, her gaze fell again and she turned away,
taking a couple of steps toward the door before stopping. “I waited a long time
before I gave up my virginity because
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