INITIUM NOVUM: Part 1

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Authors: Casper Greysun
Tags: Humor, Crime, tragedy, love, destiny, God, redemption, free will, adultry
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from his bed. The pain in his back, from his
lumbar to his hamstrings, was too intense for him to have arisen in
any other fashion. To make matters worse, upon standing, he lost
balance and stumbled into his nightstand, shattering his wife’s
antique, porcelain, bed lamp. When his wife screams at him, he
attempts to guilt her by claiming he could have been
injured.
    “You’re too fat for the injury to be anything
but superficial anyway,” she had shouted at him.
    That is how Milton Woodsmith’s day began, with
pain, both physical and emotional. At that point, his day was still
pretty much average, as his large, unhealthy body usually has its
fair shares of aches and pains. Also, his wife, while being the
sweetest person most people know, is a bitch to him, at least about
his weight. In her defense, she’s tried the sweet approach. She was
understanding and encouraged him to exercise more, back when he
still had his weight management issues in control. As it stands
today, that control has long been dead, as is her patience with his
self-inflicted poor health. It’s a true wonder that, despite her
disgust with his lifestyle, Megan Woodsmith still loves her
morbidly obese husband. For this reason, she had confiscated his
car keys forcing Milton to walk to any destination he is required
to be present at, with the exception of possible emergencies. Of
course he agreed to the terms, Milton had no other choice but to
agree. Unfortunately and unbeknownst to Megan, he takes public
transportation and taxis when he’s out and about.
    “That lamp had been in my family for
generations, you fat shit!” She added as Milton left the bedroom,
trying to avoid any further backlash from his wife.
    It wasn’t long after he sat on the living room
couch that Megan’s fury spread to the rest of the apartment. “Look
at you, I bet you’re hungry too.” At this insult he rose – one hand
on his lower back for support – from the couch, which he had parked
at as a pit-stop between the bedroom and toilet. His groans and
grunts of pain as he lifts his big body off of the couch cushion
prompts yet another insult. “Let me guess, you hurt your back
lifting that heavy ass of yours, huh?” It was then he realized that
he would need to leave the apartment as quickly as possible just
not to suffer his wife’s bad mood. So he dressed himself and left,
but not before snagging a thermo mug full of coffee spiked with a
copious amount of French vanilla flavored creamer and three glazed
doughnuts in a large zip-lock bag. He taste tested his coffee
before closing the thermo mug. His wife, spotting this gluttonous
behavior, spewed her last insult for the morning at him.
    “Thick and syrupy, just like you like it,
right? It’s coffee, not a milkshake, you fat ass!”
    As he exited his home, he wondered whether or
not he brushed his teeth. Conversely, Megan wondered what kind of
slob leaves home without brushing his teeth first, as she knew
beyond any doubt that he had skipped the task.
    Sadly, the day did not cease to abuse Milton
after he left home. Upon walking outside, he attempted to hail a
cab but his foot slipped off the curb and he had a near collision
with an oncoming bicyclist. It was possibly a messenger, but the
few milliseconds which had afforded him the glimpse was not enough
for him to make out any distinguishing features. The last thing he
saw was a flash of bright orange and black as the cyclist sped off,
his gear matching the paint on his ride. The sight startled him,
causing him to drop his thermo. He watched, almost in slow-motion,
as the cap cracked and the coffee spilled out onto the concrete.
Having fallen directly in front of the bike, the doughy stuffing
busted out of his doughnuts and the zip-lock bag as they were run
over by the front and back tires. An expression of heartbreaking
agony flashes across Milton’s face. The sentiment is accompanied by
the growl in his stomach. He stares at the remains. If only the

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