Read Online Infinity. (Infinity Series) by Layne Harper - Free Book Online
Authors: Layne Harper
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my face with licks. I open the back door, depositing Pancho outside so he can take care of his business.
Next, I walk into the kitchen. Thank goodness whatever Chef prepared for dinner doesn’t smell disgusting. There’s a pile of mail on the granite countertop, but I ignore it. I want to make sure that everything is perfect for telling Colin our great news before I start mundane chores.
Carrying my new purchases into the bathroom, I head straight for Colin’s closet. His running shoes are in their usual spot, neatly placed on the floor under his hanging workout shirts. I slip the tiny pair of Nikes out of the boutique shopping bag, and place them next to Colin’s custom-made Nike shoes. In some wonderful twist of fate, they actually match. Colin’s are only twenty times larger. I take out my phone and snap a picture, for posterity’s sake. Then, I clap like a fool so excited at how this turned out. It’s the perfect way to share our news.
Next, I remove the ultrasound pictures from my purse and instantly become transfixed. Sinking to the floor of my husband’s closet, I take a breath to absorb the enormity of the moment. The positive pregnancy test changes everything about my life. My body has been hijacked by Mother Nature. I can’t control my weight, or the size of my breasts. My abdomen will expand without anyone asking me if it has my permission.
I think back to my earlier nausea. What if I get sick in surgery? What does being pregnant mean to my career? What does a baby mean to my future? Did I go to Harvard to practice medicine for only four short years? Is Rachael right? Have I shoveled shit to get where I am just to give it up for mommy-hood?
I lie back on the soft carpet and close my eyes, blocking out the harsh florescent lighting. Colin’s body scent is strongest in his closet, and thankfully, it doesn’t make me feel bad, even though there’s a hint of his cologne. Smelling my husband tethers me back to reality, and away from the tornado of emotions whipping over me.
Being pregnant is my new normal. Worrying about our little bean thriving inside of me will become a part of my everyday routine, like brushing my teeth. One day, I’ll forget what it felt like to only be concerned about me. In that moment, I wish that I could rewind time one month, knowing that I was about to conceive a child. I would spend that last month being so much more carefree. Maybe Colin and I would do something risky, like travel the Amazon River, or go skydiving. I would definitely wear a bikini one more time in public. However, what I think that I would do the most with my borrowed time is just spend hours upon hours basking in Colin’s attention, enjoying being the center of his universe.
In about thirty minutes, my life is going to change forever. Once Colin knows about the baby, he’s going to be even more neurotic than he usually is about me. There are going to be battles at every corner. He’ll probably fight me on running every morning, even though Doctor Starr said it was fine. His anxieties over my safety will go through the roof. Every bite of food that goes in my mouth will be scrutinized. Will he be afraid to make love to me? God, I hope not.
I don’t doubt that he’s going to shower me with attention and care, but it will be about the baby also. I let out a sigh, and place both hands over my pubic bone. Yes. I would give anything for just one more month not being pregnant, but with the future knowledge that we would conceive soon.
I have my first conversation with this kid. “Your daddy is going to drive Mommy crazy. You’ll probably hear some arguing, but it doesn’t mean that we don’t love each other. It just means that sometimes we love each other a little too loudly. Now, be a good baby, and don’t make me sick again. That’s the surest way possible to get Daddy riled up. We’ve got to be a team here,” I say, rubbing my hand over my lower abdomen. “And right now, you’re on my team.
Next, I walk into the kitchen. Thank goodness whatever Chef prepared for dinner doesn’t smell disgusting. There’s a pile of mail on the granite countertop, but I ignore it. I want to make sure that everything is perfect for telling Colin our great news before I start mundane chores.
Carrying my new purchases into the bathroom, I head straight for Colin’s closet. His running shoes are in their usual spot, neatly placed on the floor under his hanging workout shirts. I slip the tiny pair of Nikes out of the boutique shopping bag, and place them next to Colin’s custom-made Nike shoes. In some wonderful twist of fate, they actually match. Colin’s are only twenty times larger. I take out my phone and snap a picture, for posterity’s sake. Then, I clap like a fool so excited at how this turned out. It’s the perfect way to share our news.
Next, I remove the ultrasound pictures from my purse and instantly become transfixed. Sinking to the floor of my husband’s closet, I take a breath to absorb the enormity of the moment. The positive pregnancy test changes everything about my life. My body has been hijacked by Mother Nature. I can’t control my weight, or the size of my breasts. My abdomen will expand without anyone asking me if it has my permission.
I think back to my earlier nausea. What if I get sick in surgery? What does being pregnant mean to my career? What does a baby mean to my future? Did I go to Harvard to practice medicine for only four short years? Is Rachael right? Have I shoveled shit to get where I am just to give it up for mommy-hood?
I lie back on the soft carpet and close my eyes, blocking out the harsh florescent lighting. Colin’s body scent is strongest in his closet, and thankfully, it doesn’t make me feel bad, even though there’s a hint of his cologne. Smelling my husband tethers me back to reality, and away from the tornado of emotions whipping over me.
Being pregnant is my new normal. Worrying about our little bean thriving inside of me will become a part of my everyday routine, like brushing my teeth. One day, I’ll forget what it felt like to only be concerned about me. In that moment, I wish that I could rewind time one month, knowing that I was about to conceive a child. I would spend that last month being so much more carefree. Maybe Colin and I would do something risky, like travel the Amazon River, or go skydiving. I would definitely wear a bikini one more time in public. However, what I think that I would do the most with my borrowed time is just spend hours upon hours basking in Colin’s attention, enjoying being the center of his universe.
In about thirty minutes, my life is going to change forever. Once Colin knows about the baby, he’s going to be even more neurotic than he usually is about me. There are going to be battles at every corner. He’ll probably fight me on running every morning, even though Doctor Starr said it was fine. His anxieties over my safety will go through the roof. Every bite of food that goes in my mouth will be scrutinized. Will he be afraid to make love to me? God, I hope not.
I don’t doubt that he’s going to shower me with attention and care, but it will be about the baby also. I let out a sigh, and place both hands over my pubic bone. Yes. I would give anything for just one more month not being pregnant, but with the future knowledge that we would conceive soon.
I have my first conversation with this kid. “Your daddy is going to drive Mommy crazy. You’ll probably hear some arguing, but it doesn’t mean that we don’t love each other. It just means that sometimes we love each other a little too loudly. Now, be a good baby, and don’t make me sick again. That’s the surest way possible to get Daddy riled up. We’ve got to be a team here,” I say, rubbing my hand over my lower abdomen. “And right now, you’re on my team.
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