rush to escape. I missed her already. Maybe we’d get to see each other again before Soul Night.
Sam helped me out of my coat, mindful of my injured arm, and applied burn cream. We had to put the bandage on together, since his left hand was immobile, thanks to Rin. Then we pulled a blanket over us. When he leaned against the door, I leaned against him.
“I didn’t even realize he shot me,” I whispered. “Not until he jammed his thumb into the burn.” The wound throbbed, almost consuming my thoughts. I preferred the pain. I’d very nearly never felt pain again.
Sam spoke into my hair. “Adrenaline does that.”
Outside, snow-covered trees slid past and mountains grew in the distance. I’d done a lot of walking in my life. From Purple Rose Cottage to Rangedge Lake to Sam’s cabin to Heart. Later, from Heart to Purple Rose Cottage to Menehem’s lab and back to Heart. I was used to journeys taking days.
Even though Stef kept complaining how slowly vehicles had to travel over the ice and uncertain road, this was so much faster than walking. It would have been luxurious if I weren’t an exile. If we weren’t fleeing for our lives.
We were all exiles.
I gazed out the window, looking through my reflection in the glass. In the north, illuminated by the templelight and silhouetted by starlight, I could just make out the dozens of obelisks beyond the city.
Templedark Memorial stood solemn and waiting, a silent testimony of our fragile existence. As much as I wanted to forget the days we spent in remembrance of darksouls, the sensations whirled up as we drove past. Wind in the trees, the scent of sulfur from nearby fumaroles, and the tolling of the bell rung seventy-two times. One peal for every darksoul.
Soon, Templedark Memorial faded from view. Trees huddled over us, and flakes of snow looked like tiny darts in the headlights. Beyond that, the whole world was very, very dark, and it seemed we were driving off the edge of it.
The baby fell asleep, and Geral and Orrin began speaking in low voices in the front. Sam held me in his left arm, injured hand resting on my hip, while he stroked my hair with his good hand. His touch was soothing, and finally we were getting away. We were alive.
“I couldn’t do it, Sam.”
His fingers paused over my cheek, then continued down in a warm trail. He didn’t ask what I was talking about.
“I should have. I had a chance, and I hesitated. If I’d just acted, we wouldn’t have to deal with him ever again. Whatever hate he spews in our absence, it’s because I didn’t just shoot him.”
The vehicle slowed further and crawled over a lump in the road. The baby whimpered, and everyone tensed, but she didn’t wake.
“No matter what Deborl does,” Sam said, “his actions are his. You shouldn’t accept any blame for what he chooses to do.”
“But if I’d just done it—”
“No. He’s still responsible for his actions.”
“All right.” That made me feel a little better, but I still should have done it. Neither Sam nor Stef would have hesitated.
“And either way,” Sam murmured, “Janan would still be ascending on Soul Night. We’d still be escaping Heart, because Deborl isn’t the only one to feel that way. If you’d done it, that might have—in others’ eyes—proven every awful thing he said about you.”
But still. The idea of never having to deal with Deborl again . . .
“Regardless.” Sam’s voice was warm and deep and filled with compassion. “I’m glad you didn’t.”
As the sun rose, Orrin pointed out bulges in the land that hadn’t been there before. The road had buckled under the pressure, leaving cobblestones jutting up at strange angles. Everywhere, ice shone blinding-bright in the sunshine, in sheets or icicles or hoarfrost on trees.
No wonder we’d been forced to travel so slowly; at anything more than a crawl, we’d have slid off the road.
It wasn’t until late afternoon that we came within sight of Menehem’s lab, a
Sam helped me out of my coat, mindful of my injured arm, and applied burn cream. We had to put the bandage on together, since his left hand was immobile, thanks to Rin. Then we pulled a blanket over us. When he leaned against the door, I leaned against him.
“I didn’t even realize he shot me,” I whispered. “Not until he jammed his thumb into the burn.” The wound throbbed, almost consuming my thoughts. I preferred the pain. I’d very nearly never felt pain again.
Sam spoke into my hair. “Adrenaline does that.”
Outside, snow-covered trees slid past and mountains grew in the distance. I’d done a lot of walking in my life. From Purple Rose Cottage to Rangedge Lake to Sam’s cabin to Heart. Later, from Heart to Purple Rose Cottage to Menehem’s lab and back to Heart. I was used to journeys taking days.
Even though Stef kept complaining how slowly vehicles had to travel over the ice and uncertain road, this was so much faster than walking. It would have been luxurious if I weren’t an exile. If we weren’t fleeing for our lives.
We were all exiles.
I gazed out the window, looking through my reflection in the glass. In the north, illuminated by the templelight and silhouetted by starlight, I could just make out the dozens of obelisks beyond the city.
Templedark Memorial stood solemn and waiting, a silent testimony of our fragile existence. As much as I wanted to forget the days we spent in remembrance of darksouls, the sensations whirled up as we drove past. Wind in the trees, the scent of sulfur from nearby fumaroles, and the tolling of the bell rung seventy-two times. One peal for every darksoul.
Soon, Templedark Memorial faded from view. Trees huddled over us, and flakes of snow looked like tiny darts in the headlights. Beyond that, the whole world was very, very dark, and it seemed we were driving off the edge of it.
The baby fell asleep, and Geral and Orrin began speaking in low voices in the front. Sam held me in his left arm, injured hand resting on my hip, while he stroked my hair with his good hand. His touch was soothing, and finally we were getting away. We were alive.
“I couldn’t do it, Sam.”
His fingers paused over my cheek, then continued down in a warm trail. He didn’t ask what I was talking about.
“I should have. I had a chance, and I hesitated. If I’d just acted, we wouldn’t have to deal with him ever again. Whatever hate he spews in our absence, it’s because I didn’t just shoot him.”
The vehicle slowed further and crawled over a lump in the road. The baby whimpered, and everyone tensed, but she didn’t wake.
“No matter what Deborl does,” Sam said, “his actions are his. You shouldn’t accept any blame for what he chooses to do.”
“But if I’d just done it—”
“No. He’s still responsible for his actions.”
“All right.” That made me feel a little better, but I still should have done it. Neither Sam nor Stef would have hesitated.
“And either way,” Sam murmured, “Janan would still be ascending on Soul Night. We’d still be escaping Heart, because Deborl isn’t the only one to feel that way. If you’d done it, that might have—in others’ eyes—proven every awful thing he said about you.”
But still. The idea of never having to deal with Deborl again . . .
“Regardless.” Sam’s voice was warm and deep and filled with compassion. “I’m glad you didn’t.”
As the sun rose, Orrin pointed out bulges in the land that hadn’t been there before. The road had buckled under the pressure, leaving cobblestones jutting up at strange angles. Everywhere, ice shone blinding-bright in the sunshine, in sheets or icicles or hoarfrost on trees.
No wonder we’d been forced to travel so slowly; at anything more than a crawl, we’d have slid off the road.
It wasn’t until late afternoon that we came within sight of Menehem’s lab, a
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