Read Online Indelible by Karin Slaughter - Free Book Online Page A

anyway.”
    â€œI’m not going to give up my career for Jeffrey.” She gave a rueful laugh. “And it’s not like I can get pregnant and stay home raising babies.”
    Cathy absorbed the remark with little more than a frown. “It’s not that, Sara.”
    â€œThen what is it, Mama? What is it you’re so worried about? What could any man possibly do to me that’s worse than what’s already happened?”
    Cathy looked down at her hands. She never cried, but she could go silent in a way that broke Sara’s heart.
    Sara sat on the bed beside her mother. “I’m sorry,” she said, thinking that she had never been so sick of having to apologize to people in her life. She felt such guilt for bringing this on her otherwise perfect family that sometimes Sara felt like it would be better for her to just go away and leave them to heal on their own.
    Cathy said, “I don’t want you to give up your self. ”
    Sara held her breath. Her mother had never come this close to voicing her true fears. Sara knew better than anyone how easy it would be to just give in.After the rape, all Sara had been able to do was lie in bed and cry. She had not wanted to be a doctor, a sister, or even a daughter. Two months passed, and Cathy had pleaded and cajoled, then physically pushed Sara out of bed. As she had done a hundred times when Sara was a child, Cathy had driven her to the children’s clinic, where this time Dr. Barney had made things better by giving Sara a job. A year later, Sara had taken a second job as county coroner in order to buy out Dr. Barney’s practice. For the last two and a half years, she had struggled to rebuild her life in Grant, and Cathy was terrified Sara would lose all of that for Jeffrey.
    Sara stood up and walked to her dresser. “Mama . . .”
    â€œI worry about you.”
    â€œI’m better now,” Sara said, though she did not think she would ever be fully whole again. There would always be the before and after, no matter how many years distanced her from what had happened. “I don’t need you to look after me, or try to toughen me up. I’m stronger now. I’m ready for this.”
    Cathy threw her hands up. “He’s just having fun. That’s all this is to him—fun.”
    Sara opened several drawers, looking for her swimsuit. She said, “Maybe that’s all it is for me, too. Maybe I’m just having a good time.”
    â€œI wish I could believe you.”
    â€œI wish you could, too,” Sara told her. “Because it’s true.”
    â€œI don’t know, baby. You have such a gentle heart.”
    â€œIt’s not that gentle anymore.”
    â€œWhat happened to you in Atlanta doesn’t change who you are.”
    Sara shrugged, tucking her swimsuit into the case. It was how other people had changed that made what happened even more horrible. Sara was angry as hell that she had been raped, and livid that the animal who had attacked her could, and probably would, get out of jail in a few years with good behavior. She was pissed off that her whole life had been turned upside down, that she’d had to resign her internship at Grady Hospital, the job she had worked toward her entire life, because everyone in the ER treated her like broken china. The attending who had worked on Sara could no longer look her in the eye, and her fellow students wouldn’t joke with her for fear of saying the wrong thing. Even the nurses treated her with kid gloves, as if being raped made Sara some sort of martyr.
    Cathy said, “Is that all I get? That look from you that says you don’t want to talk about it?”
    â€œI don’t want to talk about it,” Sara told her, exasperated. “I don’t want to talk about anything serious. I’m tired of being serious.” She tugged at the zipper on the suitcase. “I’m tired of being the smartest girl in the