Read Online Inconvenient Murder: An Inept Witches Mystery by Auburn Seal, Amanda A. Allen - Free Book Online Page A

She’ll never go jogging unless she is actually running for her life, and any Thanksgiving you spend at her house is going to involve take-and-bake pizza. But,” Ingrid added carefully and precisely, letting her cultivated laziness drop to tell him, “she’s my friend. I know her better than I know anyone, ever, and that includes my late-husband. If she was going to kill Owen, she’d have asked me to help her.”
    “That’s your defense for her?” He sounded baffled, as if he couldn’t believe she was essentially telling him that Emily was capable of murder. It was Ingrid’s firm opinion that anyone was capable of taking another person’s life. They just needed the right incentive.
    “I’m just saying, I didn’t help kill him, so it wasn’t us. Besides, if we were going to do something to dickhead, it would involve the loss of a certain desirable piece of anatomy, followed by a loss of his fortune, and then a loss of his looks. If I were going to help Emily kill him, I would insist on it being long and slow because he was, my friend, a real a-hole.”
    Gabe set his coffee down.
    “Don’t pretend like you haven’t figured that out yet.”
    “Even if I have—” Gabe started, but Ingrid interrupted.
    “That means that you have more suspects than you know what to do with. How many women in relationships did he screw? A lot. How many significant others hate him because of his cheating? Dickhead cheated on Emily all the damn time. He didn’t care if the other person was married. Dickhead never had friends. He had connections. Even his parents didn’t like him.”
    Gabe shot her an irritated look.
    “Really,” Ingrid crossed her finger over her heart again before she stepped into his personal space and looked directly into his eyes.
    “Um,” he said, starting to stand, but Ingrid pushed him back down to his chair with the tip of her finger.
    “If we’re going to have a relationship,” she began.
    “If what?” Gabe stuttered. “This is an investigation…”
    “Then you’ll have to love my best dove, Emily,” Ingrid continued, ignoring his interruption. “You don’t have to love her as much as you’ll love me, but you’ll have to be willing to help me bury a body for her. And that means, my pretty sheriff, that you should keep looking for suspects.”
    “What makes you think I’ve stopped?”
    “I don’t think you have.” Ingrid grinned at him and took another sip of her coffee. “I’ll give you perfect coffee every day for the rest of your life if you find the real killer. And that’s another of my abilities.”
    “Making perfect coffee.”
    “You’ll be spoiled in no time.” She grinned again, walking toward the pretty espresso machine and running her hand over it. “This baby is going to make us a killing.”
    “Aren’t you rich already?” He had set down his cup and was preparing to leave. That was okay. He needed to find dickhead’s killer so she and Emily could go stress shopping.
    “I might be rich,” Ingrid said, following him to the door. “But everybody loves money.”
     
    •
     
    Emily came back with tacos. The fresh smell of cilantro mixed with coffee. It might be a match made in heaven. Ingrid bit into her carnitas taco with the super-hot sauce on it before she said, “Sheriff Hotpants was here.”
    “To take me away?” Emily played with her tacos until Ingrid was forced to scowl at her.
    “Maybe he missed me.”
    “Do you believe that?” Emily took a bite of her taco, spilling ingredients out and chewing woodenly.
    Ingrid shoved another bite into her mouth and talked around the food. “I think he wanted to see what we were up to. Eventually he’ll miss me.”
    “Tacos for breakfast and a customer-less store. That’s a real selling point in my favor. I look like an idiot.”
    “We look like idiots. I’m going to hire someone to get this place cleaned up. Maybe when we’re in the tropics, and then we can come back to a clean store.”
    Ingrid