Read Online Inconsolable by Amanda Lanclos - Free Book Online Page B
Authors: Amanda Lanclos
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deadas I stare at the wall trying to get the fog to clear so I can understand this. He’s changed? What does she expect? The man lost four of his best friends and his own damn legs. He has been the strongest person I have known and I know Mary-Beth is the only reason he fought so hard to get back. If I was in his shoes, thenI know exactly what I would be doing and that scares me. I can’t lose one more of my friendsand I pray that what I am thinking isn’t what really is. I make my way to the car, keys in hand and start the two hour drive to Hickory. Please God, just don’t let me be too late.
I dial Jameson’s number again,but he still doesn’t answer. I keep calling, but he just lets it go to voicemail every time. The two hour drive seems to take an eternity and I pray to God that I don’t find my friend with a bullet through his head. I pull up to the townhouse and run to the door, banging on it. I wait and wait praying that I don’t find what I believe I will. After he doesn’t answer I look around andnotice his car isn’t there. I sigh in relief and jump back into the Rover. I call Mrs. Carter and ask her if she’s heard from Jameson and she tells me to look at Lou’s. I ride around town until I spot his Mustang. I pull up next to it and walk down the strip of sidewalk. I see Lou’s and head that way. If I were going through what he is I’d be having a beer. I stop outside of the bar as I hear him having a conversation with a woman and it seems like all he wants to do is piss this poor woman off. I stand by the door for a few minutes just listening. After a few more moments pass I speak up.
“You really are an idiot, you know that Carter?”
“I thought I was doing a pretty damn good job of hiding from you, Johnson,” he says as he tilts the beer bottle and swallows the liquid running out of the neck.
“Well, your mom gave you up. I overheard everything with you and that girl.” I point in the direction ofthe girl thatjust walked out the door and look over at the bartender. “Can I get a Bart’s please?” All I want is a fucking beer,but I know Jameson needs me more than I need my fix. “Dude, quit feeling so sorry for yourself. The guys wouldn’t want that for either of us. You need to let it go,” I know I’m giving advice I should take myself but he looks like he needs to hear it.
“Let it go? Really, Johnson? I had my legs blown off. You could have beengone with the rest of them and I cannot stand to think of it,” he responds and stands. He throws a twenty on the bar and storms out or the bar.
“You know, you can barely tell you’re not walking on your own two feet,Carter. You barely have a limp. Sam was her name, right? She must be some trainer.”
“Why are you here,Blake?”
“Because, I needed to see my friend. If I can still call you that. You’re all I have left, Jameson. Don’t you get that?” I run my hand through my hair and let out a huff as I continue. “Do you know how many times I wish I had blown up in that fucking blast? Why couldn’t it have been Jackson that was saved? He was going somewhere in lifeand he had a kid at home. I don’t have anything for me here, not a damn thing. I lived and not Jackson,” I let out a shaky breath and try to not let Carter see how affected I am.
“Come on,Blake. Don’t think like that man. Jackson wouldn’t want that for you. I don’t want that for you. You’re here because you still have things to do and it’s going to happen for you. I mean for crying out loud, Mary-Beth just left me one hell of a letter. She couldn’t even tell me to my face that she was leaving me, dude.”
He walks to his Mustang and climbs into the driver’s seat. I get into the passenger side. Whether he likes it or not, he’s stuck with me today. I watch as the man I always saw as the strongest of us all breaks down and sobs for the things he’s lost. I don’t even realize until later that he isn’t the only one who has tears
I dial Jameson’s number again,but he still doesn’t answer. I keep calling, but he just lets it go to voicemail every time. The two hour drive seems to take an eternity and I pray to God that I don’t find my friend with a bullet through his head. I pull up to the townhouse and run to the door, banging on it. I wait and wait praying that I don’t find what I believe I will. After he doesn’t answer I look around andnotice his car isn’t there. I sigh in relief and jump back into the Rover. I call Mrs. Carter and ask her if she’s heard from Jameson and she tells me to look at Lou’s. I ride around town until I spot his Mustang. I pull up next to it and walk down the strip of sidewalk. I see Lou’s and head that way. If I were going through what he is I’d be having a beer. I stop outside of the bar as I hear him having a conversation with a woman and it seems like all he wants to do is piss this poor woman off. I stand by the door for a few minutes just listening. After a few more moments pass I speak up.
“You really are an idiot, you know that Carter?”
“I thought I was doing a pretty damn good job of hiding from you, Johnson,” he says as he tilts the beer bottle and swallows the liquid running out of the neck.
“Well, your mom gave you up. I overheard everything with you and that girl.” I point in the direction ofthe girl thatjust walked out the door and look over at the bartender. “Can I get a Bart’s please?” All I want is a fucking beer,but I know Jameson needs me more than I need my fix. “Dude, quit feeling so sorry for yourself. The guys wouldn’t want that for either of us. You need to let it go,” I know I’m giving advice I should take myself but he looks like he needs to hear it.
“Let it go? Really, Johnson? I had my legs blown off. You could have beengone with the rest of them and I cannot stand to think of it,” he responds and stands. He throws a twenty on the bar and storms out or the bar.
“You know, you can barely tell you’re not walking on your own two feet,Carter. You barely have a limp. Sam was her name, right? She must be some trainer.”
“Why are you here,Blake?”
“Because, I needed to see my friend. If I can still call you that. You’re all I have left, Jameson. Don’t you get that?” I run my hand through my hair and let out a huff as I continue. “Do you know how many times I wish I had blown up in that fucking blast? Why couldn’t it have been Jackson that was saved? He was going somewhere in lifeand he had a kid at home. I don’t have anything for me here, not a damn thing. I lived and not Jackson,” I let out a shaky breath and try to not let Carter see how affected I am.
“Come on,Blake. Don’t think like that man. Jackson wouldn’t want that for you. I don’t want that for you. You’re here because you still have things to do and it’s going to happen for you. I mean for crying out loud, Mary-Beth just left me one hell of a letter. She couldn’t even tell me to my face that she was leaving me, dude.”
He walks to his Mustang and climbs into the driver’s seat. I get into the passenger side. Whether he likes it or not, he’s stuck with me today. I watch as the man I always saw as the strongest of us all breaks down and sobs for the things he’s lost. I don’t even realize until later that he isn’t the only one who has tears
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