know you’re angry with me and you have every right. I am a selfish bitch. Great, way to throw a pity party Mary-Beth. I grab a pair of yoga pants,slide them up over my black thong,then wrap my hair into a ponytail. I haven’t ran in a few years but I think maybe I should start that back up. It’s pretty therapeutic, right?
I run from my apartment to the track about a block over. When I get there I spot Luke. I smile ashe comes around the curve and I run in step with him.
“Haven’t seen you out here in a while,” he huffs as he tries to keep a steady pace, but slows down a little.
“Yeah, I needed it. Talk to Jameson yet?”
“No? Something wrong?”
“You, could say that. Mary-Beth text me this morning. Said she left him.”
“What?” Luke gives me a look that says “did I just hear you right,” then stops completely.
“Yeah, I guess he hasn’t told anyone yet?”
“Nope, but after what happened last night I’d say he’s better off.”
“You know I had nothing to do with that right?” I put my hand on his arm to make sure he looks at me.
“You didn’t?”
“No! She wanted me to come over there. I had no clue Jameson was planning all that. I called her a selfish bitch after he left.”
“Well, now I wish I could have been a fly on the wall to witness that.” He lets out a chuckle, then nods as he starts to jog again.
“Yeah, well let’s just say I am not her favorite person right now, either.”
Luke laughs and we run in companionable silence for a few more laps around the track. He gives me the stop signal and I just shake my head. I want to run alone for a while.I wave as he exits the track. I breathe in and out in unison, trying to clear my head. For someone who wants to avoid the drama in the world, it surely does tend to find me. Maybe today I will be able to avoid the aftermath of what happened with Brooklyn. I don’t really think Garrett is the person she makes him out to be.
The next morning I wake up with a pounding headache, but I grab my phone and hover over Jameson’s number. I keep getting this feeling that he needs me. He won’t answer the phone and I don’t blame him. I’m probably not a good reminder to him, but I need him to understand he’s all we have left. I owe him more than he knows. I decide it’s time to head on down to Hickory, Louisiana. I grab the keys to the Rover and pop two Tylenol. I really need to find a new coping mechanism. My liver and lungs are really going to hate me with all the toxins I am providing them.
My mom is worried about the binge drinking and the chain smoking, but it helps me dim the pain. There are days when I can’t even get out of bed because ofthe fear. It grips and consumes me. The other day my neighbor’s picture frame fell off the wall. I sat in my bed with my head between my legs for two hours reliving my time in Iraq. I was taken back to when we were all huddled in a house hiding out from the group of men that were searching. There were bullets flying and people screaming, while we waited for Kyle to take them out.
Kyle was one of the best snipers we had in our ranks. He could hit anything and that day he definitely didn’t fail. I wish I had been here to go to their funerals, but I stayed back for Carter. Maybe what I need is some closure. I’ll talk to Carter and see if he will go with me to see the guys. I know we could both use that. I hover over Mary-Beth’s number and hit the call button. It is a matter of minutes before she answers.
“Hello?”
“Hey Mary-Beth. I was just calling to check on Carter.”
“Um, well maybe you should call Jameson. I left this morning,” the phone goes silent as she whispers the last part. Did I hear her correctly? She left him this morning? As in broke up?
“Left this morning? Are you going back?”
“No, it’s too much for me to handle. He’s changed Blake. I have to go.”
The line goes
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