When I turned back, White Bird was on his knees, chanting words in Euchee with his eyes closed. The fire had mesmerized me until he chanted in his Native language. The words were foreign sounding and magical. And in English, he translated for me.
âThe universe whispers to all of us, from the realm of the Great Creator, Gohantaney . Messages of wisdom are carried on the wind if we are open to hear them, even in the sweet song of a morning bird.â He opened his eyes to look at me. âAre you open to hear the Great Creator, Brenna?â
I blinked twice, surprised heâd used my name in his ceremony.
âYes. I mean, I hope so. Iâll try.â
I rolled my eyes at how stupid I sounded. His words were so beautiful, but I acted like a moron. I should have swallowed my gum, but that would have been gross.
âShe is healed and ready to fly free,â he said in English. âAnd the next time you hear a morning bird, you will remember her and be happy.â
His ritual had been for me, so I wouldnât be sad to see thebird go. After he finished his chanting, he picked up the cage and held it out for me to open the door. At first, the bird stayed inside, scared to fly away. But eventually she perched at the open cage door and cocked her head at us before she flew away.
âOh, my God. Look. Sheâs flying,â I whispered as he set down the cage.
We watched the bird fly into the glowing pink of early morning with the warmth of the sun on our faces. And when he quietly slipped his hand in mine, my heart nearly stopped. I couldnât look at him. I was sure my eyes welled with tears and I wanted to cry. The moment was perfect and I didnât want to spoil it. I was afraid that if I peeked at him, I would see he only thought of me as a friend.
If I didnât look, I could imagine he loved me.
I didnât think I could feel any better than I did in that instant we held hands, until he looked down at me with his dark eyes and stroked a strand of hair off my face. And I knew he wanted more.
âCan I kiss you?â he asked.
My eyes opened wide and my breath caught in my throat. I nearly choked.
âAh, no.â My mouth said it before my brain knew what was happening.
âNo?â He smiled and cocked his head.
I looked down at my watch. âIn two minutes, okay?â
When he grinned and looked down at his watch to count down the time, I turned my head and spit out my gum. It shot out of my mouth like a pink cannonball.
I remembered my body was shaking all over. I was terrified and completely happy at the same time. Iâd never kissed a boy before. What if I screwed it up? When was I supposed toclose my eyes? What was I supposed to do with my tongue? Should I have spit on my lips or should they be dry? All my insecurities came rushing to the surface and my knees almost buckled.
When my two minutes were up, he lowered his lips to mine and kissed me for the first time.
In the pale light of morning, he pulled me into his arms with the same gentleness that had healed the bird with the broken wing. I felt his hand on my face and his lips were perfect on mine. It was as if weâd done this a hundred times, maybe in another lifetime. Kissing him sent a rush of emotions through me. I was no longer a little girl. I had crossed a line that made me feel different. And I wondered if it would show on my face.
When he pulled away, I opened my eyes to see him looking down at me. He grinned and didnât say a word. He hugged me without an ounce of selfishness. And as we both gazed into the morning sun, I buried my head into his chest and found it hard to fight the smile on my face. And I wondered if he was smiling, too.
When I think of the single most important moment of my life, I always remember kissing White Bird. Even now I can feel his touch on my skin and the way his lips felt. That memory should have made me happy on a day like today, but it didnât. All I
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