Read Online In Love with a Gentleman by Elisa Ellen - Free Book Online
Authors: Elisa Ellen
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struggle with the German language. It’s becoming clear to me just how difficult it is to learn German. For example, they are eternally mystified why nouns in German are masculine, feminine, or neuter.
“Why,” they ask me again and again, “is the German word for table, Tisch , masculine, but another word for table, Tafel , is feminine? Why is the word for window, Fenster , neither feminine nor masculine but neuter?”
Yes, why? Good question ,I think.
I feel sorry for them. These poor kids have to study laboriously and memorize what I learned so easily since I was weaned. I have to fight the urge to laugh when a student misuses a German article—it sounds so funny! For example, they say der Huhn instead of das Huhn , for “the chicken,” or das Bauer instead of der Bauer for “the farmer.” I bite my lip and correct them quickly. If I were in their shoes, I wouldn’t appreciate it if the teacher giggled hysterically every time I made a mistake.
That said, they laugh when something sounds like a naughty English word. In an advanced class, I asked the students to summarize the facts ( Fakten ) they read about in a chapter of their book. The German word Fakten apparently sounds like “fucked him” in English! The class couldn’t stop laughing the whole hour. The next time I spoke about facts, I used a less obscene-sounding German phrase.
In the simpler family narratives used for the lowerclassmen, the word for father, Vater , occurs frequently. Vater sounds similar to the English word “farter,” so there, too, the lessons often go off the rails. Unfortunately, there’s no substitute for Vater in German, so I have no choice but to be strict and call the class to order.
I’d already gotten used to this as a student back in Germany. I knew what to expect when I had to use the important and irreplaceable English word “fiction,” which to Germans sounds like the word ficken , meaning “to fuck.” In this regard, I’m probably like many young teachers around the world. I can easily empathize with my students. Under any other circumstances, I would be only too willing to laugh along. But here it would demean my authority. Sometimes I have to turn toward the window and hope that no one sees me struggling to suppress my laughter.
When I tell the Seafields these stories, they find them hilarious. Edwin has taken a brotherly responsibility for me and is often very insistent on explaining which gestures or expressions are absolute no-no’s in English culture. For example, you can indicate the number two with the index finger and middle finger, but only with your palm facing out. If you do it showing the back of your hand, it’s insanely indecent.
In the afternoons, Edwin, Linda, and I often go on bicycle trips in the surrounding area. Essex County is gorgeous. It reminds me of Jutland, the northernmost part of the Danish peninsula, with its similarly sweeping panoramic views of the rolling countryside and the occasional small stands of trees. As a child, my family often visited Denmark during the summer holidays.
English country roads are narrow, long, and winding. They wind and curve endlessly, hugging the contours of the houses and farms that they connect. The roads are carved deep into the hills and valleys after centuries of use. They were never straightened out as they were in the German state of North Rhine-Westphalia, which was ruled by Napoleon’s brother, Jérôme.
An English teacher once explained to my class why people drive on the left side of the road in England. Supposedly, the lanes at the time were very narrow, and knights and other horsemen could barely pass each other. Since they never knew who they’d meet on the road in those days, they kept to the left so they could easily reach for their lances or swords with their right hands, ready to fend off the enemy. I wonder if the theory is true. Traveling on the narrow roads, I figure it makes sense, even if cycling on the left takes some
“Why,” they ask me again and again, “is the German word for table, Tisch , masculine, but another word for table, Tafel , is feminine? Why is the word for window, Fenster , neither feminine nor masculine but neuter?”
Yes, why? Good question ,I think.
I feel sorry for them. These poor kids have to study laboriously and memorize what I learned so easily since I was weaned. I have to fight the urge to laugh when a student misuses a German article—it sounds so funny! For example, they say der Huhn instead of das Huhn , for “the chicken,” or das Bauer instead of der Bauer for “the farmer.” I bite my lip and correct them quickly. If I were in their shoes, I wouldn’t appreciate it if the teacher giggled hysterically every time I made a mistake.
That said, they laugh when something sounds like a naughty English word. In an advanced class, I asked the students to summarize the facts ( Fakten ) they read about in a chapter of their book. The German word Fakten apparently sounds like “fucked him” in English! The class couldn’t stop laughing the whole hour. The next time I spoke about facts, I used a less obscene-sounding German phrase.
In the simpler family narratives used for the lowerclassmen, the word for father, Vater , occurs frequently. Vater sounds similar to the English word “farter,” so there, too, the lessons often go off the rails. Unfortunately, there’s no substitute for Vater in German, so I have no choice but to be strict and call the class to order.
I’d already gotten used to this as a student back in Germany. I knew what to expect when I had to use the important and irreplaceable English word “fiction,” which to Germans sounds like the word ficken , meaning “to fuck.” In this regard, I’m probably like many young teachers around the world. I can easily empathize with my students. Under any other circumstances, I would be only too willing to laugh along. But here it would demean my authority. Sometimes I have to turn toward the window and hope that no one sees me struggling to suppress my laughter.
When I tell the Seafields these stories, they find them hilarious. Edwin has taken a brotherly responsibility for me and is often very insistent on explaining which gestures or expressions are absolute no-no’s in English culture. For example, you can indicate the number two with the index finger and middle finger, but only with your palm facing out. If you do it showing the back of your hand, it’s insanely indecent.
In the afternoons, Edwin, Linda, and I often go on bicycle trips in the surrounding area. Essex County is gorgeous. It reminds me of Jutland, the northernmost part of the Danish peninsula, with its similarly sweeping panoramic views of the rolling countryside and the occasional small stands of trees. As a child, my family often visited Denmark during the summer holidays.
English country roads are narrow, long, and winding. They wind and curve endlessly, hugging the contours of the houses and farms that they connect. The roads are carved deep into the hills and valleys after centuries of use. They were never straightened out as they were in the German state of North Rhine-Westphalia, which was ruled by Napoleon’s brother, Jérôme.
An English teacher once explained to my class why people drive on the left side of the road in England. Supposedly, the lanes at the time were very narrow, and knights and other horsemen could barely pass each other. Since they never knew who they’d meet on the road in those days, they kept to the left so they could easily reach for their lances or swords with their right hands, ready to fend off the enemy. I wonder if the theory is true. Traveling on the narrow roads, I figure it makes sense, even if cycling on the left takes some
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