Read Online Impulse by Ellen Hopkins - Free Book Online Page A
Authors: Ellen Hopkins
Tags: Fiction, General, Family, Juvenile Fiction, Psychology, Suicide, Social Issues, Interpersonal relations, Psychiatric hospitals, Friendship, Parents, Values & Virtues, Mental Illness, Self-Esteem & Self-Reliance, Diseases, Health & Daily Living, Depression & Mental Illness, Novels in Verse, Illnesses & Injuries
Ads: Link
girls whose names I don't know, with beatific grins lighting their plain faces. And--this is weird--Tony, who's sitting two rows up. It seems to me that "gay" and "God" make strange bedfellows, in the most figurative sense, of course. 201
206
But Tony seems caught up in the drama of the morning--
singing hymns, praying the Our Father, listening
raptly to the sermon, a ramble
straight out of Revelations.
There's a lot more to Tony than what's on the surface, that's for sure. Wonder how deep I'd have to dig to find it all.
207
Mandatory Church Services
What other surprises does Level One have in store? I don't believe in God, don't believe in the devil.
Unless you want to count my mother. She might be Satan's sister, I suppose. What other explanation
could there be for someone sizzling hot on the outside, yet frozen solid beneath the skin. Not quite human.
Anyway, I get to wear my wrinkled Ralph Lauren. It's worse than I thought, having stayed crinkled against the back of the drawer going on a dozen days now. At least my Dockers aren't showing signs of mistreatment. 203
208
Whatever. It's good to be out of sweats, feeling half human again. I arrive just as the minister says, Let ' s
get started. Turn your eyes to the Lord, fill your hearts with gladness, reach out for your heavenly reward.
He's a poster board preacher and I hate him already. I spy an empty chair in back, suddenly glad I'm late. 204
209
I Sit Beside Vanessa
I can't believe the chump on my right left a place next to her for me. I settle in as the brainwashed recite a well-worn prayer, not
completely foreign to me: Our father, who art in heaven, hallowed be thy name...
It's not like I've never been to church before. My parents make us go on holidays, fighting sin
twice every year--the day Mary gave birth, the day her son died, so the stories go. All to save me? Right.
Vanessa leans over, sweeping my cheek with an auburn wisp. I ' d rather
be sleeping, she whispers. 205
210
She smells of industrial-
strength soap, but so do I.
At least we're clean. I notice the length of her skirt, which covers too much, if
you ask me. One slender
arm comes to rest on one
knee, and at the wrist, a few
drops of blood, scarlet clues to the mystery that is Vanessa. I lean back, watch her secret ooze.
211
After the Last Amen
We're allowed some time to mingle, guys and girls together as if, now holy, not a single indecent thought
could cross our commingled minds. Vanessa's knee brushes mine, raising some quite improper thoughts. A voice reminds
me we're not exactly alone. Good morning! Hope I ' m
not interrupting. Tony's eyes
fall, a warning to Vanessa to hide her wrist. But she doesn't, maybe because she doesn't care, or maybe she just doesn't see.
He reaches out, touches her arm. What ' s this, sweet
lady? He disguises concern with charm. Unexpected. 207
212
Vanessa snatches her arm away. Nothing. No worries. I poked myself with o fingernail. Her eyes betray the lie.
Tony and I exchange a glance, brimming with disbelief.
But we know it's a delicate dance and keep our mouths
shut. 208
213
Vanessa's Cutting
And the only thing I can do is point it out to someone in charge--betray her to the enemy. Not really an option. I wouldn't want her to tell on me. So I shrug. "Hope it doesn't get infected. You should clip those fingernails!" Yes, Mother I ' ll put it near the top of my list. Right after flossing.
Conner asks, Are Sunday services really required? What happens if you say you won ' t come? Will they lock you up, throw away the key?
"They'd drop you back down a level," I answer, as the resident expert. 209
214
Back to being a big
zero, Vanessa says. Back to isolation.
"Only if you're Level One. But hey, lucky me, I've been promoted to Level Two. Just wait. You get to play pool, get to watch TV."
No kidding? says Conner. And what do you get for making Level Three? 210
215
Level Three Privileges
"From what I hear, you get trips to
206
But Tony seems caught up in the drama of the morning--
singing hymns, praying the Our Father, listening
raptly to the sermon, a ramble
straight out of Revelations.
There's a lot more to Tony than what's on the surface, that's for sure. Wonder how deep I'd have to dig to find it all.
207
Mandatory Church Services
What other surprises does Level One have in store? I don't believe in God, don't believe in the devil.
Unless you want to count my mother. She might be Satan's sister, I suppose. What other explanation
could there be for someone sizzling hot on the outside, yet frozen solid beneath the skin. Not quite human.
Anyway, I get to wear my wrinkled Ralph Lauren. It's worse than I thought, having stayed crinkled against the back of the drawer going on a dozen days now. At least my Dockers aren't showing signs of mistreatment. 203
208
Whatever. It's good to be out of sweats, feeling half human again. I arrive just as the minister says, Let ' s
get started. Turn your eyes to the Lord, fill your hearts with gladness, reach out for your heavenly reward.
He's a poster board preacher and I hate him already. I spy an empty chair in back, suddenly glad I'm late. 204
209
I Sit Beside Vanessa
I can't believe the chump on my right left a place next to her for me. I settle in as the brainwashed recite a well-worn prayer, not
completely foreign to me: Our father, who art in heaven, hallowed be thy name...
It's not like I've never been to church before. My parents make us go on holidays, fighting sin
twice every year--the day Mary gave birth, the day her son died, so the stories go. All to save me? Right.
Vanessa leans over, sweeping my cheek with an auburn wisp. I ' d rather
be sleeping, she whispers. 205
210
She smells of industrial-
strength soap, but so do I.
At least we're clean. I notice the length of her skirt, which covers too much, if
you ask me. One slender
arm comes to rest on one
knee, and at the wrist, a few
drops of blood, scarlet clues to the mystery that is Vanessa. I lean back, watch her secret ooze.
211
After the Last Amen
We're allowed some time to mingle, guys and girls together as if, now holy, not a single indecent thought
could cross our commingled minds. Vanessa's knee brushes mine, raising some quite improper thoughts. A voice reminds
me we're not exactly alone. Good morning! Hope I ' m
not interrupting. Tony's eyes
fall, a warning to Vanessa to hide her wrist. But she doesn't, maybe because she doesn't care, or maybe she just doesn't see.
He reaches out, touches her arm. What ' s this, sweet
lady? He disguises concern with charm. Unexpected. 207
212
Vanessa snatches her arm away. Nothing. No worries. I poked myself with o fingernail. Her eyes betray the lie.
Tony and I exchange a glance, brimming with disbelief.
But we know it's a delicate dance and keep our mouths
shut. 208
213
Vanessa's Cutting
And the only thing I can do is point it out to someone in charge--betray her to the enemy. Not really an option. I wouldn't want her to tell on me. So I shrug. "Hope it doesn't get infected. You should clip those fingernails!" Yes, Mother I ' ll put it near the top of my list. Right after flossing.
Conner asks, Are Sunday services really required? What happens if you say you won ' t come? Will they lock you up, throw away the key?
"They'd drop you back down a level," I answer, as the resident expert. 209
214
Back to being a big
zero, Vanessa says. Back to isolation.
"Only if you're Level One. But hey, lucky me, I've been promoted to Level Two. Just wait. You get to play pool, get to watch TV."
No kidding? says Conner. And what do you get for making Level Three? 210
215
Level Three Privileges
"From what I hear, you get trips to
Similar Books
