hardly let a groom go with a tongue- lashing after he had dared to touch a Stanhope. When the grooms threw me down on my motherâs doorstep, I had three broken ribs and a concussion. That is why I did not sneak into the castle and try to get you out that night, for I was still foolish enough that I thought you would want to leave with me.â
Angelaâs stomach twisted as she thought of what he had endured. She swallowed. âIâI am sorry. I did not know.â
âIt was hardly unexpected. I knew what would happen if we were caught. I took the risk. At the time, I thought it was worth it.â
Angela turned and walked away. It was strange how, after all this time and all the other things that hadhappened to her, his bitter words had the power to hurt her. She had thought herself numb to pain, as well as to joy, for years now. She was not sure she liked finding out that she was not.
She turned around resolutely. âI did not deal with you unfaithfully.â When his eyebrow rose sardonically, she raised her hand, saying, âNo, there is no need to protest. I realize that you do not believe me. You did not even then, when you still loved me. I did what I thought was necessary, and itâ¦pained me to hurt you. I wanted that least of all. My family wronged you. Because of me, you were dealt with cruelly. It would have been far better if we had neverâ¦felt what we did. But all that is in the past, and we cannot do anything to change it. You must see that. No matter what you force me to do now or how badly you ruin Jeremy, you cannot make the whole thing come out any better. You cannot change my grandfatherâs words or wipe out his blows. The only thing you will accomplish is to tie yourself to a woman who does not wish to marry you, and that hardly seems the way to lead a happy life. Why donât you find someone you love, someone who will love you back? Then you could have a good life.â
He grimaced. âThank you for your concern, my lady, but I have no interest in this sugarcoated future you envision for me. You see, I did get something of value from my dealings with the Stanhopes. I learned exactly how useless âloveâ is. We were in love, and it did not help us. It did not stop your grandfather from separating us. It did not heal me. It did not keep you from marrying someone else. And, much as you seem to revere the idea of it, I do not see that it has kept you from winding up out here, a recluse, an outcast from your own people,divorced, shamedâ¦. What do I need with this âloveâ of yours?â
Angelaâs cheeks flamed with color at his description of her life. âYou think so highly of me, I can readily understand why you wish to marry me. Good God, Cam, donât be such a fool! Marrying me is no way to move in the best circles. I am divorced and messily so. My reputation is thoroughly and permanently blackened. If you want position and heirs, not love, then find some other poor girl of good family. There are more families than the Stanhopes who are of good lineage and who would be happy to sell their daughter for a little cash. Let her give you noble children and entrée into Society. It would be far easier for both of you. But, for pityâs sake, leave me and mine alone!â
He regarded her silently for a long moment. Finally, he said, as if the words had been wrenched from him, âWould that I could! I wish to heaven some other family, some other little chit, could soothe the thing that has been burning in me for thirteen years. But they will not. No matter how difficult, how contrary, you are, no matter what your reputation has been, you are the only one who will satisfy me. You are the one I will have.â
He gave her a brisk nod, then turned on his heel and walked out of the room, leaving Angela where she was, gaping after him.
CHAPTER THREE
J ASON P ETTIGREW reluctantly drew his gaze from the much more interesting sight of
Beth Kery
Suzanne Johnson
James Thompson
James Maxey
Jack Higgins
Laura Wade
Louis L’Amour
Jennifer Loring
Bill Pronzini
Paul Levine