stared at me.
Thinking of the moment again makes me shrink into myself. I look out the window for the rest of the car ride, counting down the seconds until we get to school and I can get away from Rollins.
“Thanks for the ride,” I say too loudly when the car comes to a stop in the school parking lot. Rollins opens his mouth like he’s going to respond, but I’m too quick and shut the door before he can say anything.
“Whoa Nelly,” Mattie says, hurrying to keep up with me. “What was that back there?”
“What was what?” I toss back at her. She pulls on my sleeve, forcing me to stop.
“You know what. Deathly silence. Something happened between you and Rollins, didn’t it?” Mattie crosses her arms over her chest.
“I thought you were sleeping,” I say, shoving my notebook into my backpack.
Mattie’s voice turns stern. “Sylvia Bell, you tell me the truth right this instant. Why are you and Rollins acting so weird?”
Fairly sure I’m not going to get out of this interrogation without telling Mattie exactly what happened, I sigh. Before I say anything, though, I look around to make sure no one is within earshot. “If you must know, I gave Rollins every opportunity to kiss me on Friday night.”
Mattie squeals. “Really? Vee, that’s great!”
I glare at her. “You know what’s not so great? He just stared at me like I was stupid or something. It was the most awkward moment of my entire life.”
Mattie shocks me by laughing.
I spin on my heel and walk toward the school’s entrance, furious. I should have known better than to tell Mattie. There’s no way she can understand the implications of what happened between Rollins and me. Our friendship is basically ruined. There’s no going back to just being friends. That moment will always be hanging there between us.
Mattie catches the back of my shirt. “Slow down. I’m sorry for laughing. It’s just that you probably stunned the poor guy. He’s been pining after you for months, and all of a sudden you throw yourself at him? No wonder he’s confused.”
I shake off her hand. “I didn’t throw myself at him.”
“Come on. Admit it. You’ve been giving him mixed signals ever since Zane died. At first you were all like, ‘Woe is me. I’ve been betrayed. I’ll never love again.’ And now you want to make out with Rollins? It’s a little bit sudden, is all I’m saying.”
I cock my head. She does have a point. I’ve been pushing Rollins away for so long now. It must seem strange for me to change my tune so quickly. Maybe I’m being a little too dramatic. I should give him another chance.
“Listen to your genius little sister. Rollins worships the ground you walk on. I’m sure that didn’t change overnight,” Mattie says teasingly. “Just talk to him at lunch. And don’t forget to ask him about seeing Scar with me and Russ this weekend.”
“All right, all right,” I mutter. “I’ll see what I can do.”
“Atta girl.” Mattie slaps me on the back.
At first, I’m not even sure Rollins is going to show up at our meeting place under the bleachers at lunch. Five minutes pass, then ten, then fifteen. Finally, I hear the familiar crunch of leaves as he makes his way toward me. Taking a big bite of my brown-sugar cinnamon Pop-Tart, I nonchalantly stare out at the empty football field, like I haven’t been counting the minutes until he showed up.
“Hey,” he says, plopping down next to me.
“Hey,” I say, and then take another bite.
I notice Rollins is sitting a little farther away from me than usual. He doesn’t meet my eyes. Instead, he pulls out a Sharpie and focuses on the intricate design he’s been doodling on the bottom of his shoes for the past few weeks.
“Sorry I’m late,” he says. “I was talking to Anna. It sounds like she can get me an interview with Who Killed My Sea Monkeys for my zine.”
“Awesome,” I say, hoping my enthusiasm doesn’t sound too fake. Rollins writes, designs, and
Thinking of the moment again makes me shrink into myself. I look out the window for the rest of the car ride, counting down the seconds until we get to school and I can get away from Rollins.
“Thanks for the ride,” I say too loudly when the car comes to a stop in the school parking lot. Rollins opens his mouth like he’s going to respond, but I’m too quick and shut the door before he can say anything.
“Whoa Nelly,” Mattie says, hurrying to keep up with me. “What was that back there?”
“What was what?” I toss back at her. She pulls on my sleeve, forcing me to stop.
“You know what. Deathly silence. Something happened between you and Rollins, didn’t it?” Mattie crosses her arms over her chest.
“I thought you were sleeping,” I say, shoving my notebook into my backpack.
Mattie’s voice turns stern. “Sylvia Bell, you tell me the truth right this instant. Why are you and Rollins acting so weird?”
Fairly sure I’m not going to get out of this interrogation without telling Mattie exactly what happened, I sigh. Before I say anything, though, I look around to make sure no one is within earshot. “If you must know, I gave Rollins every opportunity to kiss me on Friday night.”
Mattie squeals. “Really? Vee, that’s great!”
I glare at her. “You know what’s not so great? He just stared at me like I was stupid or something. It was the most awkward moment of my entire life.”
Mattie shocks me by laughing.
I spin on my heel and walk toward the school’s entrance, furious. I should have known better than to tell Mattie. There’s no way she can understand the implications of what happened between Rollins and me. Our friendship is basically ruined. There’s no going back to just being friends. That moment will always be hanging there between us.
Mattie catches the back of my shirt. “Slow down. I’m sorry for laughing. It’s just that you probably stunned the poor guy. He’s been pining after you for months, and all of a sudden you throw yourself at him? No wonder he’s confused.”
I shake off her hand. “I didn’t throw myself at him.”
“Come on. Admit it. You’ve been giving him mixed signals ever since Zane died. At first you were all like, ‘Woe is me. I’ve been betrayed. I’ll never love again.’ And now you want to make out with Rollins? It’s a little bit sudden, is all I’m saying.”
I cock my head. She does have a point. I’ve been pushing Rollins away for so long now. It must seem strange for me to change my tune so quickly. Maybe I’m being a little too dramatic. I should give him another chance.
“Listen to your genius little sister. Rollins worships the ground you walk on. I’m sure that didn’t change overnight,” Mattie says teasingly. “Just talk to him at lunch. And don’t forget to ask him about seeing Scar with me and Russ this weekend.”
“All right, all right,” I mutter. “I’ll see what I can do.”
“Atta girl.” Mattie slaps me on the back.
At first, I’m not even sure Rollins is going to show up at our meeting place under the bleachers at lunch. Five minutes pass, then ten, then fifteen. Finally, I hear the familiar crunch of leaves as he makes his way toward me. Taking a big bite of my brown-sugar cinnamon Pop-Tart, I nonchalantly stare out at the empty football field, like I haven’t been counting the minutes until he showed up.
“Hey,” he says, plopping down next to me.
“Hey,” I say, and then take another bite.
I notice Rollins is sitting a little farther away from me than usual. He doesn’t meet my eyes. Instead, he pulls out a Sharpie and focuses on the intricate design he’s been doodling on the bottom of his shoes for the past few weeks.
“Sorry I’m late,” he says. “I was talking to Anna. It sounds like she can get me an interview with Who Killed My Sea Monkeys for my zine.”
“Awesome,” I say, hoping my enthusiasm doesn’t sound too fake. Rollins writes, designs, and
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