Read Online I’m Over All That by Shirley Maclaine - Free Book Online Page B
Authors: Shirley Maclaine
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notice that I was getting a lot of grandmother-part offers. I didn’t see myself that way at all. What was happening? I was, in my own mind, still young, bouncy, an invisible guerrilla traveler, a kid. Wrong. After some hard thought, I had my face lifted. Never do that in the middle of a love affair because it’s disconcerting to your partner. And forget about having sex during recovery time. That’s the best way to pop your stitches.
But I must say I loved how I looked afterward. In fact, I became quite enamored with my face and preferred to have dinner wherever there were mirrors. Which brings me to the next show business necessity in real life.
I Will Never Get Over Good Lighting
F irst of all, you need to know where to sit. If it’s daytime, you sit facing the outside light. Natural light is very nice for the skin—as long as it’s not direct sunlight. If you’re really smart, you place your partner just to the side of where the light is hitting you. You’ll know you are in the right daytime lighting position when you can’t see his face. He is completely backlit. You won’t know how he is reacting to your daytime dialogue, but you do know you look as good as possible when the sun is out.
At night, choose a restaurant with candlelit tables. Even ask for another candle. Claim you can’t see the menu. Never sit where there is an overhead light. It makes you look like Grandma Moses. And never sit where you can feel a cross-light splash across your face. A two-year-old looks haggard in that condition. If you are a person who is stopped on the street for a “reality” interview, ask them what filter they have in the camera. Black full pro mist is the best, but everything else will look slightly blurred, which is what you want for your face. Otherwise, just keep walking.
I have no solution for the paparazzi who jump out at you in highly inappropriate environments. Except perhaps murder. But then, even paparazzi can be reincarnated.
When you are doing a TV interview, remember to tell the camera people you want the camera high and the key light low. They will hate you for knowing what you’re doing, but insist, even if you turn into a diva. It’s easier for me nowadays because I’m so old they think I must be an expert. In fact, Marlene Dietrich taught me how to light myself when we made 80 Days . She was the master of lighting, as well as the master of costume fittings. I used to sit and watch her being fitted in everything from leather tuxedos to full-length sequined gowns. Her fittings lasted for six hours. She was literally the last one left standing. She would ponder deeply over exactly how close the sequins should be sewn together. She loved to design the sequins so the audience could just see through them, revealing the shape of her legs. She taught me a new use for 2 ½ millimeter pearls. (They were to be put in the center of my bra so you would think they were my nipples.) She also showed me how to string a small, nearly invisible chain under my chin which was then attached to pincurls on either side of my face. This was the Dietrich face-lift. Of course I had a headache by lunch, but it was worth it. She ate only every other day, and not much even then. That’s how she kept her figure. Not something I could ever do.
She was having a love affair with Mike Todd on 80 Days until I introduced him to Elizabeth Taylor. Marlene was good about it. She remembered that Mike had tossed out Evelyn Keyes for her anyway.
I loved to overhear the negotiations for diamonds and rubies between Mike and Elizabeth just to get her to go out to dinner. Elizabeth was no fool and Mike was no cheapskate. I sometimes wondered what a roll in the hay would cost. Elizabeth used to come to my one-room apartment in Malibu and tell me that Mike seduced her as a snake would seduce a mongoose. Every man I ever introduced her to fell in love with her. She saw to that. One of them purposely nearly ran his car off a Malibu cliff out
But I must say I loved how I looked afterward. In fact, I became quite enamored with my face and preferred to have dinner wherever there were mirrors. Which brings me to the next show business necessity in real life.
I Will Never Get Over Good Lighting
F irst of all, you need to know where to sit. If it’s daytime, you sit facing the outside light. Natural light is very nice for the skin—as long as it’s not direct sunlight. If you’re really smart, you place your partner just to the side of where the light is hitting you. You’ll know you are in the right daytime lighting position when you can’t see his face. He is completely backlit. You won’t know how he is reacting to your daytime dialogue, but you do know you look as good as possible when the sun is out.
At night, choose a restaurant with candlelit tables. Even ask for another candle. Claim you can’t see the menu. Never sit where there is an overhead light. It makes you look like Grandma Moses. And never sit where you can feel a cross-light splash across your face. A two-year-old looks haggard in that condition. If you are a person who is stopped on the street for a “reality” interview, ask them what filter they have in the camera. Black full pro mist is the best, but everything else will look slightly blurred, which is what you want for your face. Otherwise, just keep walking.
I have no solution for the paparazzi who jump out at you in highly inappropriate environments. Except perhaps murder. But then, even paparazzi can be reincarnated.
When you are doing a TV interview, remember to tell the camera people you want the camera high and the key light low. They will hate you for knowing what you’re doing, but insist, even if you turn into a diva. It’s easier for me nowadays because I’m so old they think I must be an expert. In fact, Marlene Dietrich taught me how to light myself when we made 80 Days . She was the master of lighting, as well as the master of costume fittings. I used to sit and watch her being fitted in everything from leather tuxedos to full-length sequined gowns. Her fittings lasted for six hours. She was literally the last one left standing. She would ponder deeply over exactly how close the sequins should be sewn together. She loved to design the sequins so the audience could just see through them, revealing the shape of her legs. She taught me a new use for 2 ½ millimeter pearls. (They were to be put in the center of my bra so you would think they were my nipples.) She also showed me how to string a small, nearly invisible chain under my chin which was then attached to pincurls on either side of my face. This was the Dietrich face-lift. Of course I had a headache by lunch, but it was worth it. She ate only every other day, and not much even then. That’s how she kept her figure. Not something I could ever do.
She was having a love affair with Mike Todd on 80 Days until I introduced him to Elizabeth Taylor. Marlene was good about it. She remembered that Mike had tossed out Evelyn Keyes for her anyway.
I loved to overhear the negotiations for diamonds and rubies between Mike and Elizabeth just to get her to go out to dinner. Elizabeth was no fool and Mike was no cheapskate. I sometimes wondered what a roll in the hay would cost. Elizabeth used to come to my one-room apartment in Malibu and tell me that Mike seduced her as a snake would seduce a mongoose. Every man I ever introduced her to fell in love with her. She saw to that. One of them purposely nearly ran his car off a Malibu cliff out
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