Read Online If You Know Her: A Novel of Romantic Suspense by Shiloh Walker - Free Book Online
Authors: Shiloh Walker
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time since she’d felt anything other than grief, or rage. That low-level sexual attraction was a pleasant surprise … for a few seconds anyway.
Then guilt kicked in. She couldn’t do this—couldn’t feel this.
She was here for a reason, and even if she was inclined to lose her head for a few minutes, she sure as hell couldn’t do it with him. Definitely not with him.
She’d made a complete fool of herself with him already, and she wasn’t here to look at him, wasn’t here to repeat those mistakes.
Definitely wasn’t here to ogle him … but that’s what she was doing.
Her mouth was dry, she realized. Turning away from him, she tried to find something else to stare at. Something else, anything else. There wasn’t anything else. Just a lousy picnic table.
Desperate, she settled on it, clutching the edge of it in her hands. It was worn smooth from years of use—damn good thing, too, because the way she was grippingit, she would be lucky if she didn’t have a forest of splinters in her hands.
“Can’t be easy.”
The table groaned a little as Law settled down beside her. Shooting him a look from her eyes, she said, “What can’t?”
“Seeing her … ah, Lena. Ezra mentioned that, she … well, looked like your cousin. I’m sorry. I …”
She sighed and rested her elbows on her knees. “Stop, okay? I figured out why he didn’t want me going in that café.”
“So why did you do it?”
She shrugged. “Couldn’t stop myself.” Closing her eyes, she buried her face in her hands.
“What was she like … your cousin?”
Nia lowered her hands. “Joely?”
“Yeah.”
“Why? Why are you asking?” She turned to look at him, trying to figure out where he was going with this, what he wanted.
Law shrugged. “Why not? You look pretty shaken. Just sitting here isn’t going to help. Talking might.”
“And why in the fuck should it matter to you if I’m shaken or not?”
He watched her, a look of compassion on his face, and Nia felt the knot in her throat swell until it threatened to choke her.
Shit.
“Ah, hell,” she muttered. “I’m sorry.”
He shrugged. “You don’t need to be sorry. Not like you haven’t had a lousy deal lately.” With his weight braced on his hands, he leaned back. “So what was she like?”
Nia stared at him for a long moment and then abruptly, she sighed. “Joely … she … she was my opposite.Everything I’m not. Cool and calm, where I’m hotheaded and always ready for a fight—I can be as logical as I want, but I’ll still be spoiling for a fight at the end of it all. I looked for the bad shit. She saw the good.”
“You were close.”
“Like sisters. She was all the family I had,” she whispered. Tears threatened, but she blinked them back. “Shit, I still can’t believe she’s gone.”
“I could tell you that it will get better eventually—the pain will start to fade. And it does fade, but not because it gets easier. You just learn to live with it,” he said gruffly. “I know that’s probably not what you want to hear.”
Nia sniffed. “Actually, that helps a hell of a lot more than somebody telling me that this will get
easier
. She was raped and murdered—
nothing
about this should be easy.”
With shaking hands, she dug into her pocket, desperate for a cigarette only to realize she’d smoked the last one.
Shit
. Feeling the weight of his gaze, she slid off the picnic table, desperate to put a few feet between them. She needed to say something, anything—needed to stop feeling so fragile, and she needed him to stop looking at her like … hell, what was the look on his face anyway? She couldn’t quite figure it out.
Scowling, she shoved her hands in her pockets and turned away, staring toward the sheriff’s department and her bike.
Anywhere but him.
“I need to apologize to you again for what I did last year,” she said, the words coming out of her so fast, they tumbled over each other. “I was
Then guilt kicked in. She couldn’t do this—couldn’t feel this.
She was here for a reason, and even if she was inclined to lose her head for a few minutes, she sure as hell couldn’t do it with him. Definitely not with him.
She’d made a complete fool of herself with him already, and she wasn’t here to look at him, wasn’t here to repeat those mistakes.
Definitely wasn’t here to ogle him … but that’s what she was doing.
Her mouth was dry, she realized. Turning away from him, she tried to find something else to stare at. Something else, anything else. There wasn’t anything else. Just a lousy picnic table.
Desperate, she settled on it, clutching the edge of it in her hands. It was worn smooth from years of use—damn good thing, too, because the way she was grippingit, she would be lucky if she didn’t have a forest of splinters in her hands.
“Can’t be easy.”
The table groaned a little as Law settled down beside her. Shooting him a look from her eyes, she said, “What can’t?”
“Seeing her … ah, Lena. Ezra mentioned that, she … well, looked like your cousin. I’m sorry. I …”
She sighed and rested her elbows on her knees. “Stop, okay? I figured out why he didn’t want me going in that café.”
“So why did you do it?”
She shrugged. “Couldn’t stop myself.” Closing her eyes, she buried her face in her hands.
“What was she like … your cousin?”
Nia lowered her hands. “Joely?”
“Yeah.”
“Why? Why are you asking?” She turned to look at him, trying to figure out where he was going with this, what he wanted.
Law shrugged. “Why not? You look pretty shaken. Just sitting here isn’t going to help. Talking might.”
“And why in the fuck should it matter to you if I’m shaken or not?”
He watched her, a look of compassion on his face, and Nia felt the knot in her throat swell until it threatened to choke her.
Shit.
“Ah, hell,” she muttered. “I’m sorry.”
He shrugged. “You don’t need to be sorry. Not like you haven’t had a lousy deal lately.” With his weight braced on his hands, he leaned back. “So what was she like?”
Nia stared at him for a long moment and then abruptly, she sighed. “Joely … she … she was my opposite.Everything I’m not. Cool and calm, where I’m hotheaded and always ready for a fight—I can be as logical as I want, but I’ll still be spoiling for a fight at the end of it all. I looked for the bad shit. She saw the good.”
“You were close.”
“Like sisters. She was all the family I had,” she whispered. Tears threatened, but she blinked them back. “Shit, I still can’t believe she’s gone.”
“I could tell you that it will get better eventually—the pain will start to fade. And it does fade, but not because it gets easier. You just learn to live with it,” he said gruffly. “I know that’s probably not what you want to hear.”
Nia sniffed. “Actually, that helps a hell of a lot more than somebody telling me that this will get
easier
. She was raped and murdered—
nothing
about this should be easy.”
With shaking hands, she dug into her pocket, desperate for a cigarette only to realize she’d smoked the last one.
Shit
. Feeling the weight of his gaze, she slid off the picnic table, desperate to put a few feet between them. She needed to say something, anything—needed to stop feeling so fragile, and she needed him to stop looking at her like … hell, what was the look on his face anyway? She couldn’t quite figure it out.
Scowling, she shoved her hands in her pockets and turned away, staring toward the sheriff’s department and her bike.
Anywhere but him.
“I need to apologize to you again for what I did last year,” she said, the words coming out of her so fast, they tumbled over each other. “I was
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