TELECAST OF FIRST DRUNKEN WOODEN INDIAN. THIS STATION IS PROUD TO CARRY THE INDIAN FATHER OF HIS
COUNTRY. "PERHAPS YOU HAVE SEEN HIS FACE ON THE NICKEL. HE'S THE ONE WITHOUT THE HUMP," SAID THE
HIRED FUNERAL COMEDIAN.)
Yes, we wrote you
as a book, saved you from 2075. Could you live without what we give? We tell you the truth. Don't
make us push your brain button. You believe in one-armed men. We made you whole and we don't like
that very much. We feel, your voice and image is wavering from our purpose. It is becoming soft,
muted. We want more lights on your face. Remember, we saved you as a representative of your race.
We monitor, we pray, and we teach. Are you trying to escape our reach? Why do you dream of 2075?
We checked, we programmed, we wrote the
book. Be glad you're alive. Be glad you have 2074 just once more. You are the kingdom and the
book. Watch me dance on the silver screen. There are no words to confuse you. There are no
painful choices. No fear of right or wrong. There are no choices to confuse you. We offer you the
appeal of two words, fear and death. The fear of death. Do you know what we mean? WON'T YOU WATCH
US DANCE ON THE SILVER SCREEN?
(TAPED LIVE AT THE
HOUSE OF PERFORMANCE IN CALIFORNIA, COPYRIGHT REASONABLE PERSUASION MUSIC CO., ALL RIGHTS
RESERVED, 2074 Music to be reasonably persuaded by.)
Remember we made
and remade every dream ever played and put them on the screen. We wrote the book. We asked
nothing of you, wanted nothing of you, programmed nothing from you. We came into your home. Did
you look? Don't make me ask you again. We don't want to push that button. We don't want to send
you to that place where lights close their tired eyes. Remember one-armed men carry imaginary
fists at the end of imaginary arms.
(THE PRECEDING
MESSAGE FED INTRAVENOUSLY TO GERIATRIC PATIENTS, CHANNEL, CODE, AND REVISIONS AS SPECIFIED.
REMEMBER THE MOTTO OF SENIOR CITIZENS PARIMUTUEL BETTING INC.-ONLY FOOLS BET AGAINST THE POOLS.
DON'T DIE WITHOUT PLACING A BET-YOUR TIME COULD BE OUR TIME-AND YOU MIGHT WIN YET.)
This is strictly
confidential, but I thought you'd like to know I've been watching you and your hormone count is
really quite low. I hope you can correct this. I've watched you; I've programmed your text.
Biologically speaking, this monitor recommends sex. Please act accordingly. Your audience loves
you. Love them. Refill the lifely cup; we want to see your hormone production go up.
(THIS BROADCAST
IMPLANTED WITH YOUR NEVER-SLEEPS INTRA-UTERINE DEVICE. THIS TAPE WILL SELF-CORRUPT IN THIRTY
SECONDS.)
Was your voice
unsynchronized with the image? Was the meaning hidden, the lights too bright? It came out wrong.
It was not what we hoped. Believe me, it will not happen again. Buttons will be pushed, brains
will roll. Yes, we know we made an error; we have discovered error. Did we miscalculate your
sex? Watch the screen. Watch the screen. See us rectify the errors. Remember editors make
mistakes. We wrote the book. We edited the movie for you. Be patient. If you've discovered a
mistake in the year 2074, consider it was put there on purpose. We try to put something in 2074
for everybody and some people are always looking for mistakes.
(THIS TAPE
BROADCAST ON THE EACH FIRST DAY OF THE SECOND COMING TIME OF THE GRAND AND GLORIOUS YEAR 2074.
THIS IS THE SEVENTY-SECOND BROADCAST OF THIS JOYFUL MESSAGE, BROUGHT TO YOU ONCE EACH 2074,
courtesy of the unemployed calendar-printers' union.)
I HAVE SEEN THE
FUTURE AND I WONT GO.
(popular folksong
from 2074.)
(Crazy Horse, his
dying words, 1876.)
I can't help you
anymore, tell the people I cannot help anymore. (AS THE DIRECTOR, I HAVE DECIDED THAT THE ROLE OF
CRAZY HORSE MUST BE REWRITTEN. IN THE MOVIE VERSION, WE WILL HAVE HIM SAY "ONLY BY MY DEATH CAN I
HELP MY PEOPLE; ONE SMALL STEP FOR MAN; ONE GIANT LEAP AT THE BOX OFFICE." IN PLACE OF HAVING HIM
MURDERED BY CAVALRY OFFICERS WHO STABBED HIM IN THE
COUNTRY. "PERHAPS YOU HAVE SEEN HIS FACE ON THE NICKEL. HE'S THE ONE WITHOUT THE HUMP," SAID THE
HIRED FUNERAL COMEDIAN.)
Yes, we wrote you
as a book, saved you from 2075. Could you live without what we give? We tell you the truth. Don't
make us push your brain button. You believe in one-armed men. We made you whole and we don't like
that very much. We feel, your voice and image is wavering from our purpose. It is becoming soft,
muted. We want more lights on your face. Remember, we saved you as a representative of your race.
We monitor, we pray, and we teach. Are you trying to escape our reach? Why do you dream of 2075?
We checked, we programmed, we wrote the
book. Be glad you're alive. Be glad you have 2074 just once more. You are the kingdom and the
book. Watch me dance on the silver screen. There are no words to confuse you. There are no
painful choices. No fear of right or wrong. There are no choices to confuse you. We offer you the
appeal of two words, fear and death. The fear of death. Do you know what we mean? WON'T YOU WATCH
US DANCE ON THE SILVER SCREEN?
(TAPED LIVE AT THE
HOUSE OF PERFORMANCE IN CALIFORNIA, COPYRIGHT REASONABLE PERSUASION MUSIC CO., ALL RIGHTS
RESERVED, 2074 Music to be reasonably persuaded by.)
Remember we made
and remade every dream ever played and put them on the screen. We wrote the book. We asked
nothing of you, wanted nothing of you, programmed nothing from you. We came into your home. Did
you look? Don't make me ask you again. We don't want to push that button. We don't want to send
you to that place where lights close their tired eyes. Remember one-armed men carry imaginary
fists at the end of imaginary arms.
(THE PRECEDING
MESSAGE FED INTRAVENOUSLY TO GERIATRIC PATIENTS, CHANNEL, CODE, AND REVISIONS AS SPECIFIED.
REMEMBER THE MOTTO OF SENIOR CITIZENS PARIMUTUEL BETTING INC.-ONLY FOOLS BET AGAINST THE POOLS.
DON'T DIE WITHOUT PLACING A BET-YOUR TIME COULD BE OUR TIME-AND YOU MIGHT WIN YET.)
This is strictly
confidential, but I thought you'd like to know I've been watching you and your hormone count is
really quite low. I hope you can correct this. I've watched you; I've programmed your text.
Biologically speaking, this monitor recommends sex. Please act accordingly. Your audience loves
you. Love them. Refill the lifely cup; we want to see your hormone production go up.
(THIS BROADCAST
IMPLANTED WITH YOUR NEVER-SLEEPS INTRA-UTERINE DEVICE. THIS TAPE WILL SELF-CORRUPT IN THIRTY
SECONDS.)
Was your voice
unsynchronized with the image? Was the meaning hidden, the lights too bright? It came out wrong.
It was not what we hoped. Believe me, it will not happen again. Buttons will be pushed, brains
will roll. Yes, we know we made an error; we have discovered error. Did we miscalculate your
sex? Watch the screen. Watch the screen. See us rectify the errors. Remember editors make
mistakes. We wrote the book. We edited the movie for you. Be patient. If you've discovered a
mistake in the year 2074, consider it was put there on purpose. We try to put something in 2074
for everybody and some people are always looking for mistakes.
(THIS TAPE
BROADCAST ON THE EACH FIRST DAY OF THE SECOND COMING TIME OF THE GRAND AND GLORIOUS YEAR 2074.
THIS IS THE SEVENTY-SECOND BROADCAST OF THIS JOYFUL MESSAGE, BROUGHT TO YOU ONCE EACH 2074,
courtesy of the unemployed calendar-printers' union.)
I HAVE SEEN THE
FUTURE AND I WONT GO.
(popular folksong
from 2074.)
(Crazy Horse, his
dying words, 1876.)
I can't help you
anymore, tell the people I cannot help anymore. (AS THE DIRECTOR, I HAVE DECIDED THAT THE ROLE OF
CRAZY HORSE MUST BE REWRITTEN. IN THE MOVIE VERSION, WE WILL HAVE HIM SAY "ONLY BY MY DEATH CAN I
HELP MY PEOPLE; ONE SMALL STEP FOR MAN; ONE GIANT LEAP AT THE BOX OFFICE." IN PLACE OF HAVING HIM
MURDERED BY CAVALRY OFFICERS WHO STABBED HIM IN THE
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