Read Online I Kissed Dating Goodbye by Joshua Harris - Free Book Online
Authors: Joshua Harris
heart and lines for getting a kiss. One guy explained his technique of alternating warmth with disinterest and coolness --he claimed that this approach kept a girl guessing and trying her best to please him. Another guy shared ways to put a girl in a romantic mood. He'd take a date to a
42 furniture store, and as he and the girl walked through the displays, he would talk about families and ask which tables and couches she would want for her home someday. "Girls go nuts for this!" he told us. He explained that with marriage and future plans on her mind, the girl would more likely be romantic and affectionate during the evening.
Bluntly put, this conversation was a study in manipulation. All of it was completely fake, completely insincere. The guys didn't seek ways to bless girls. They merely wanted ways to push emotional buttons to get something for themselves.
I'm sure many girls would admit to having their own set of tricks. But no matter how commonplace or ingrained in our culture these practices may be, we all face judgment by the four simple words given by God: "Love must be sincere."
We need to embrace the incredible responsibility we bear as representatives of Christ's love here on earth. "By this all men will know that you are my disciples," Jesus said, "if you love one another" (john 13:35). The world will know we are differ looking up "love" in god's dictionary 69
ent, the world will see a glimpse of the divine, saving love of God by the way we love. Will others see the sincerity of Christ's love in our relationships? Or will they see the same brand of self-centered love practiced by the world and turn away in disappointment?
practice makes perfect--or perfectly imperfect
The love we practice in dating not only shows the world Christ's love, it also prepares us for our future relationships. As we relate to others today, we form patterns that we'll take with us into our marriages. For this reason, we must not only practice sincere love but also practice commitment-based love.
We see so much divorce and betrayal in our society today Take a quick count--how many of your friends come from broken homes? I believe that this trend will only increase as each generation begins to practice short-term love in dating relationships earlier and earlier. It seems that dating as we have come to know it doesn't really prepare us for marriage; instead it can be a training ground for divorce. We cannot practice lifelong commitment in a series of short-term relationships.
43 Does that mean we're supposed to marry the first person we date? No. We need to carefully and cautiously consider marriage, remaining willing to back out of a relationship if God shows us we need to. There's no wisdom in rushing into marriage simply because we've become romantically attached to someone. The wrong mind-set so prevalent today, however, is not related to choosing a spouse. Many of us have fallen prey to the idea that we can, and should, pursue romance for its own sake. In other words, "I'll become intimate with you because it feels good, not because I'm prayerfully considering marriage." This attitude is not fair to the other person and is terrible
joshua harris preparation for marriage. Who wants to marry someone who will ditch a relationship the moment romantic feelings wane? Who wants to marry a person who has developed a habit of breaking up and finding someone new when the going gets tough?
We need to realize that the lifelong commitment so many of us desire in our future marriages cannot be practiced or prepared for in a lifestyle of short-term relationships. Until we can commit to making a relationship work for the rest of our lives--and yes, it is a huge commitment--we do ourselves and others a disservice by pursuing short-term love in the meantime. True love waits, but not just for sex. It waits for the right time to commit to God's brand of love--unwavering, unflagging, and totally committed.
pushing our pettiness
Committed,
42 furniture store, and as he and the girl walked through the displays, he would talk about families and ask which tables and couches she would want for her home someday. "Girls go nuts for this!" he told us. He explained that with marriage and future plans on her mind, the girl would more likely be romantic and affectionate during the evening.
Bluntly put, this conversation was a study in manipulation. All of it was completely fake, completely insincere. The guys didn't seek ways to bless girls. They merely wanted ways to push emotional buttons to get something for themselves.
I'm sure many girls would admit to having their own set of tricks. But no matter how commonplace or ingrained in our culture these practices may be, we all face judgment by the four simple words given by God: "Love must be sincere."
We need to embrace the incredible responsibility we bear as representatives of Christ's love here on earth. "By this all men will know that you are my disciples," Jesus said, "if you love one another" (john 13:35). The world will know we are differ looking up "love" in god's dictionary 69
ent, the world will see a glimpse of the divine, saving love of God by the way we love. Will others see the sincerity of Christ's love in our relationships? Or will they see the same brand of self-centered love practiced by the world and turn away in disappointment?
practice makes perfect--or perfectly imperfect
The love we practice in dating not only shows the world Christ's love, it also prepares us for our future relationships. As we relate to others today, we form patterns that we'll take with us into our marriages. For this reason, we must not only practice sincere love but also practice commitment-based love.
We see so much divorce and betrayal in our society today Take a quick count--how many of your friends come from broken homes? I believe that this trend will only increase as each generation begins to practice short-term love in dating relationships earlier and earlier. It seems that dating as we have come to know it doesn't really prepare us for marriage; instead it can be a training ground for divorce. We cannot practice lifelong commitment in a series of short-term relationships.
43 Does that mean we're supposed to marry the first person we date? No. We need to carefully and cautiously consider marriage, remaining willing to back out of a relationship if God shows us we need to. There's no wisdom in rushing into marriage simply because we've become romantically attached to someone. The wrong mind-set so prevalent today, however, is not related to choosing a spouse. Many of us have fallen prey to the idea that we can, and should, pursue romance for its own sake. In other words, "I'll become intimate with you because it feels good, not because I'm prayerfully considering marriage." This attitude is not fair to the other person and is terrible
joshua harris preparation for marriage. Who wants to marry someone who will ditch a relationship the moment romantic feelings wane? Who wants to marry a person who has developed a habit of breaking up and finding someone new when the going gets tough?
We need to realize that the lifelong commitment so many of us desire in our future marriages cannot be practiced or prepared for in a lifestyle of short-term relationships. Until we can commit to making a relationship work for the rest of our lives--and yes, it is a huge commitment--we do ourselves and others a disservice by pursuing short-term love in the meantime. True love waits, but not just for sex. It waits for the right time to commit to God's brand of love--unwavering, unflagging, and totally committed.
pushing our pettiness
Committed,
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