did the vegetables for the dinner, and after Dad came back and breakfast was over I washed up and did the kitchen. With all this I was too late for the ten o'clock mass, the children's mass, so I went to eleven o'clock.
The church was different at eleven o'clock for it was full of grown-ups and all the men seemed to stand at the back while there was still some empty seats at the front. I was sitting behind a pillar and the only way I could see Father Howard was when I craned my neck, and I did crane my neck as he began his sermon, for without any leading up he yelled one word at the congregation.
"Immorality," he yelled, and then there was such a silence that you could hear people breathing. I did not understand anything of what he said at first until he began to talk about the girls and women of the parish.
"Babylon isn't in it with this town," he cried, 'and I'm not referring to the prostitutes in Bog's End. They carry out their profession in the open, they dont hide behind religion, nor have they the nerve to come to mass and the sacraments with blackness in their hearts that even they would be ashamed of. This parish has become such that it isn't safe for a priest to walk the streets at night. "
I knew without names being mentioned that the priest Father Howard was referring to was Father Ellis. There was another priest younger than Father Ellis, called Father James, but he did not have a nice face nor a nice voice like Father Ellis. And I also knew that Cissie Campbell had wanted the priest to kiss her and she wasn't the only one, for lots of the grown-up girls were always hanging round him.
When the mass was over and I was going up the side aisle I saw my Aunt Phyllis walking in the throng up the centre aisle; her head was high but her eyes looked downwards, and she had the appearance of someone wrapped around with righteousness. When she saw me outside she seemed surprised and asked, "Have you been to this mass?" And when I said
"Yes' she said, " Ah well, I hope it's done you some good. "
Later the whole town was talking about Father Howard's sermon, but neither Dad nor Mam asked me anything about it.
The following year, nineteen-thirty-five, our Ronnie and Don Dowling left school and both started at the Phoenix pit. Dad said it would not make much difference to us as they would dock it off his dole, and they did.
There hadn't been much laughter in our house for some months until one night, sitting at the table, I began w eat slowly, toying with my food, my whole attention concentrated on the thought that had been coming and going in my mind for some long time past. And now, being unable to contain myself any longer as to the truth of Aunt Phyllis's remark, I suddenly raised my eyes and, looking across at Dad, said, "Have I really got a silly laugh. Dad ?"
They all stopped eating and stared at me, then one after the other they began to laugh. My mother first, her body shaking before she would let her laughter loose, Ronnie's mouth was wide and his head back, and Dad, with his two
hands clasped on the table, leant across to me I was now laughing myself and shaking his head slowly he said, "It's the best laugh in the land, hinny. Never let it fade ... never."
That night Ronnie came into my room. I dont know what time it was, I only know that a hand on my shoulder startled me into wakefulness, and I couldn't see anyone in the dark. But then I heard Ronnie's voice whispering near my ear, "Ssh! it's me."
I turned on my side in an effort to get up, but his hand kept me still, and I asked, "What is it? Is Mam bad?"
"No," he murmured, "I only wanted to talk to you."
I screwed my face up in the dark, then said, "Talk to me? What about?"
"Oh, lots of things," he whispered.
"I miss you, Christine, now that I'm at work, and we never seem to go anywhere without Sam or Don." He paused, and although I could only see the dark outline of him I knew that we were staring into each other's eyes. Then, with a little gurgle
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