the editor of the school paper. She’s not going to ditch, the first day of term.’
‘She will if we’re counting school paper meetings,’ I said.
‘Leaving normal school to go to voluntary extra school does not count as ditching,’ said Marci. ‘It won’t be Kristen, and I don’t think Ashley will break first either. She’s not a super-nerd or anything, but she’s not all that rebellious. We’re looking for a true wild woman.’
‘How about a wild man?’ I asked, watching as more people drifted into the room. Among them was Rob Anders, who I thought of as a bully though he wasn’t really. He simply knew enough about me to be scared, without knowing enough to be smart about it. He hated me, but like most high-school kids he was completely powerless to hurt me; sticks and stones could break my bones, but Rob was too chicken to go that far. His suspicions about me were just enough to guarantee him a few seconds of ‘I told you so’ fame if anyone ever found out about the two people I’d killed, but between now and then he was just an angry kid. Even now, when he could have come over to taunt me or whatever, he didn’t; he was probably scared off by Marci, actually. No guy in his right mind wanted to look like a jerk in front of her.
Through the door, in the crowded hallway, I caught a quick glimpse of Max walking past – still short, still chubby, still wearing his glasses, but different somehow. His head was down, and he was scowling. And then he was gone.
‘You think Rob?’ Marci asked, following my gaze to where he stood in the doorway. She pondered him a moment, then shook her head. ‘I don’t see it. Punching you at the Bonfire last year was the craziest thing he’s ever done in his life, and I heard he spent the whole summer working it off for his slave-driver mom. He’ll be on his best behaviour today, just to prove he’s changed. We need somebody else.’
‘Hey, guys.’ Brad Nielsen flopped down into the desk in front of me, right next to Rachel. ‘What’s up?’ He was a guy I’d known better as a kid, though we hadn’t really hung out in years. He was nice enough, but I found myself suddenly hating him – hating him passionately, almost violently. Who did he think he was, invading my group and talking to my girls?
This was exactly why I’d stopped hanging around people - I didn’t want to think like this. How quickly had I gone from nervousness to jealousy? He’d done something so little - he had sat down in a chair – and I’d felt myself burning with rage. Why couldn’t I just have a normal relationship, without seeing everyone I met as a possession or a competitor? I breathed deep, counting slowly to ten while he talked, willing myself to calm down.
‘Did you guys hear about Allison?’ His face was grave, and the girls leaned in, frowning.
‘Allison Hill?’ asked Marci.
‘Yeah,’ said Brad. He looked at me. ‘You didn’t hear?’
‘Nothing,’ I said. ‘What happened?’
‘Killed herself,’ said Brad. He swallowed. ‘They found her this morning – wrists slit, just like Jenny Zeller.’
Rachel covered her mouth, her eyes wide, and Marci’s jaw dropped.
‘You’re kidding,’ she said. ‘What the hell?’
‘It came on the radio right as I got to school,’ said Brad.
‘She just called me last night,’ said Rachel, tears welling up in her eyes. ‘She called me five times – I thought she was just being annoying. I had no idea!’
Another suicide. I looked around the room and saw for the first time the worried looks of the other students: the furrowed brows, the pursed lips, the teary eyes. Everyone was talking about it.
Allison Hill had been a pretty normal girl, as far as I could tell: she didn’t have a ton of friends, but she had more than Jenny Zeller. She was in the choir and the dance team; she had two good parents; she had a job at the bookstore. I’d bought
‘She will if we’re counting school paper meetings,’ I said.
‘Leaving normal school to go to voluntary extra school does not count as ditching,’ said Marci. ‘It won’t be Kristen, and I don’t think Ashley will break first either. She’s not a super-nerd or anything, but she’s not all that rebellious. We’re looking for a true wild woman.’
‘How about a wild man?’ I asked, watching as more people drifted into the room. Among them was Rob Anders, who I thought of as a bully though he wasn’t really. He simply knew enough about me to be scared, without knowing enough to be smart about it. He hated me, but like most high-school kids he was completely powerless to hurt me; sticks and stones could break my bones, but Rob was too chicken to go that far. His suspicions about me were just enough to guarantee him a few seconds of ‘I told you so’ fame if anyone ever found out about the two people I’d killed, but between now and then he was just an angry kid. Even now, when he could have come over to taunt me or whatever, he didn’t; he was probably scared off by Marci, actually. No guy in his right mind wanted to look like a jerk in front of her.
Through the door, in the crowded hallway, I caught a quick glimpse of Max walking past – still short, still chubby, still wearing his glasses, but different somehow. His head was down, and he was scowling. And then he was gone.
‘You think Rob?’ Marci asked, following my gaze to where he stood in the doorway. She pondered him a moment, then shook her head. ‘I don’t see it. Punching you at the Bonfire last year was the craziest thing he’s ever done in his life, and I heard he spent the whole summer working it off for his slave-driver mom. He’ll be on his best behaviour today, just to prove he’s changed. We need somebody else.’
‘Hey, guys.’ Brad Nielsen flopped down into the desk in front of me, right next to Rachel. ‘What’s up?’ He was a guy I’d known better as a kid, though we hadn’t really hung out in years. He was nice enough, but I found myself suddenly hating him – hating him passionately, almost violently. Who did he think he was, invading my group and talking to my girls?
This was exactly why I’d stopped hanging around people - I didn’t want to think like this. How quickly had I gone from nervousness to jealousy? He’d done something so little - he had sat down in a chair – and I’d felt myself burning with rage. Why couldn’t I just have a normal relationship, without seeing everyone I met as a possession or a competitor? I breathed deep, counting slowly to ten while he talked, willing myself to calm down.
‘Did you guys hear about Allison?’ His face was grave, and the girls leaned in, frowning.
‘Allison Hill?’ asked Marci.
‘Yeah,’ said Brad. He looked at me. ‘You didn’t hear?’
‘Nothing,’ I said. ‘What happened?’
‘Killed herself,’ said Brad. He swallowed. ‘They found her this morning – wrists slit, just like Jenny Zeller.’
Rachel covered her mouth, her eyes wide, and Marci’s jaw dropped.
‘You’re kidding,’ she said. ‘What the hell?’
‘It came on the radio right as I got to school,’ said Brad.
‘She just called me last night,’ said Rachel, tears welling up in her eyes. ‘She called me five times – I thought she was just being annoying. I had no idea!’
Another suicide. I looked around the room and saw for the first time the worried looks of the other students: the furrowed brows, the pursed lips, the teary eyes. Everyone was talking about it.
Allison Hill had been a pretty normal girl, as far as I could tell: she didn’t have a ton of friends, but she had more than Jenny Zeller. She was in the choir and the dance team; she had two good parents; she had a job at the bookstore. I’d bought
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