Read Online I Come as a Theif by Louis Auchincloss - Free Book Online
Authors: Louis Auchincloss
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the corridor shouting one's name or perhaps by some fool just shouting. At one point, by the boat pond, watching the elaborate model of a schooner making its precarious way across the water, he wondered in despair if it would be possible for him to do any thinking about Max's plan at all. And it was sufficiently extraordinary that he could not even make out whether the procrastination of his mental processes was operating for or against the plan.
Sitting on an empty bench, he tried putting the question to himself aloud: "Are you going to do what Max proposes?" Then he opened his lips to let the answer emerge, as if by some process of free association. None came. Was there no idea, no image in his mind? None but the banality that one crime must lead to another? "What rot," he exclaimed aloud. Why should he have to assume the very proposition that he sought to rebut: that man was not free? Man was free. Free to commit one crime, or two, or threeâor none.
He decided that he might think better in company and went home. It was six o'clock, and Lee and both children were having their daily argument in the living room. Isabel greeted him with her usual passionate appeal.
"Mummie's been criticizing the young. She says we don't get any joy out of life. That we're discouraged before we're even started. But she won't see that's only one side of the picture. We're discouraged because we
care.
We care about people being shot and tortured and starved all over the world. I think we're going to be known as the 'moral generation.'"
Tony stared at the girl as though she had just penetrated his secret. Then he laughed. "Why moral? It's just a fashion, isn't it?"
"Oh, Daddy! A fashion?"
"Sure. Don't you think our descendants may look back on our worrying about ghettos and racial prejudice the way we look back at Catholics worrying about Luther?"
"No! Worrying about people's religion was silly."
"You say that because you've never had any religion," Eric put in.
"Well, have
you,
Eric?" his father asked.
"Perhaps not. But I see that churches may have the right idea. They go in for absolutes. Isabel's full of sentimental goo."
"Oh, Eric, you and your absolutes. You're nothing but a Nazi."
"Children!" Lee protested. "Your father hasn't put in a long day at the office to come home to this."
Tony looked at her as he had just looked at Isabel. Did she see it too? But he was much too touchy. "No, it's all right, I like it," he said easily. "It's funny to consider all the things we do perfectly freely, even thoughtlessly, that we could have been burned alive for a few hundred years ago. Think of all the peccadillos the Holy Office used to punish so hideously. Think of the tongues that were cut out for slandering public officials and the men who were jailed for unionizing. And when we come to sex..."
"I believe," Lee interrupted drily, "that in some benighted eras a man could even be put to death for making love to another man's wife."
Tony turned to her, straight-faced. "Surely there couldn't have been many who did anything as wicked as that."
"Oh, Daddy!" Isabel exclaimed scornfully. "You're not with it at all. That happens all the time. Now we heard at school that Mary Burton's father..."
"Isabel!" Lee protested. "That's enough. Now will you both please go to your rooms and finish your homework. You can come back and sit with Daddy while we're having supper."
Tony went to the bar table to mix the cocktails. He was suddenly elated by the discovery that he could be two persons at onceâtwo happy persons. All his life, it seemed, he had been afraid of not being the person whom his loved ones loved. He had shared the common human suspicion that if his mother, his wife, his friends could once peek behind the mask that he (and perhaps everyone else) wore, they would no longer love the person so revealed to them. And so, with total revelation, human love would disappear from the globe, except perhaps Tony Lowder's, for it was his
Sitting on an empty bench, he tried putting the question to himself aloud: "Are you going to do what Max proposes?" Then he opened his lips to let the answer emerge, as if by some process of free association. None came. Was there no idea, no image in his mind? None but the banality that one crime must lead to another? "What rot," he exclaimed aloud. Why should he have to assume the very proposition that he sought to rebut: that man was not free? Man was free. Free to commit one crime, or two, or threeâor none.
He decided that he might think better in company and went home. It was six o'clock, and Lee and both children were having their daily argument in the living room. Isabel greeted him with her usual passionate appeal.
"Mummie's been criticizing the young. She says we don't get any joy out of life. That we're discouraged before we're even started. But she won't see that's only one side of the picture. We're discouraged because we
care.
We care about people being shot and tortured and starved all over the world. I think we're going to be known as the 'moral generation.'"
Tony stared at the girl as though she had just penetrated his secret. Then he laughed. "Why moral? It's just a fashion, isn't it?"
"Oh, Daddy! A fashion?"
"Sure. Don't you think our descendants may look back on our worrying about ghettos and racial prejudice the way we look back at Catholics worrying about Luther?"
"No! Worrying about people's religion was silly."
"You say that because you've never had any religion," Eric put in.
"Well, have
you,
Eric?" his father asked.
"Perhaps not. But I see that churches may have the right idea. They go in for absolutes. Isabel's full of sentimental goo."
"Oh, Eric, you and your absolutes. You're nothing but a Nazi."
"Children!" Lee protested. "Your father hasn't put in a long day at the office to come home to this."
Tony looked at her as he had just looked at Isabel. Did she see it too? But he was much too touchy. "No, it's all right, I like it," he said easily. "It's funny to consider all the things we do perfectly freely, even thoughtlessly, that we could have been burned alive for a few hundred years ago. Think of all the peccadillos the Holy Office used to punish so hideously. Think of the tongues that were cut out for slandering public officials and the men who were jailed for unionizing. And when we come to sex..."
"I believe," Lee interrupted drily, "that in some benighted eras a man could even be put to death for making love to another man's wife."
Tony turned to her, straight-faced. "Surely there couldn't have been many who did anything as wicked as that."
"Oh, Daddy!" Isabel exclaimed scornfully. "You're not with it at all. That happens all the time. Now we heard at school that Mary Burton's father..."
"Isabel!" Lee protested. "That's enough. Now will you both please go to your rooms and finish your homework. You can come back and sit with Daddy while we're having supper."
Tony went to the bar table to mix the cocktails. He was suddenly elated by the discovery that he could be two persons at onceâtwo happy persons. All his life, it seemed, he had been afraid of not being the person whom his loved ones loved. He had shared the common human suspicion that if his mother, his wife, his friends could once peek behind the mask that he (and perhaps everyone else) wore, they would no longer love the person so revealed to them. And so, with total revelation, human love would disappear from the globe, except perhaps Tony Lowder's, for it was his
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