Cinderfuckingrella.
Chapter 4 – Changes
Voices filtered through the room, as I took my place for Sunday lunch. Right now I would rather stick pins in my eyes, then be forced to look at Joel. But the only other option was to listen to my Mother screech on about how I needed to eat more. That option was far less desirable, so I reluctantly took my seat, hoping that I would soon be put out of my misery.
Mike was being more vocal than usual. His voice was like nails down a blackboard, every syllable loud and irritating. I shot him a look of disgust, but he remained totally oblivious. He was animatedly chatting away, describing every little detail of his hook up from the night before. His wide grin made me want to punch him repeatedly, even more so after his unwelcoming interference last night.
Even subconsciously he had the power to piss me off. He was a constant pain in the butt, sticking his nose in where it truly wasn’t welcome. I hated how much control he had over Joel. Why was he so weak that he couldn’t say no? I felt the knife twist again, reminding me of his rejection. The tiny piece of hope I had held onto had now evaporated, vanishing into nothing but despair.
I stifled a yawn, disguising the fact my night was long and restless. It had been filled with intense, dark dreams of Joel. Even in sleep he haunted me, teasing me with something that would never be mine.
My finger circled the rim of the glass absentmindedly, trying to block out the inane chatter. I lifted my eyes to take just one peek, to satisfy my curiosity. Allowing myself one moment to look at him, only to find Joel’s eyes locked on me, watching me closely.
I took in a sharp gasp of air, at the intensity of his eyes boring into mine. They softened slightly after a few beats, but they held a look of concern. His lips curled up into a shy smile but I didn’t reciprocate back, and caught his frown as my eyes dropped back down.
His eyes seemed genuinely sincere but I knew the pattern, the routine. He had no doubt lived up to his player role, scoring another girl the moment I was out of sight, out of mind.
I clenched the knife tightly in my hand, feeling the blade dig uncomfortably into my skin. I had set myself up for another fall and boy was I tumbling.
Joel’s eyes remained fixed on me throughout the meal, but mine stayed locked on the plate. Focusing on eating enough to appease my Mother. I didn’t need her suspicions raised any further, by my lack of appetite. That would mean her interfering and meddling in my business, and that just wasn’t happening.
I knew he was anxiously waiting for some sort of sign. A smile. A look. But I refused to give him one. The selfish part of me wanted to punish him, for the way he had treat me last night.
When all the plates were collected and cleared away, I knew I’d be left listening to their in-depth details of last night’s conquests. I needed to leave and fast. Despite my attempts to evade Joel, he was like a magnet, still drawing me in.
My eyes unwillingly flashed up to Joel, who was still staring, almost silently pleading with me. I remembered how good it felt last night, looking deep into those big blue sapphire eyes. How my heart rapidly beat with joy, now they just caused it to ache.
I quickly broke the contact, if I stared any longer I’d lose whatever little self-control I was barely grasping onto. I needed to leave while I still had the strength to.
“I can’t believe you didn’t bang Chloe last night, she was laying it out for you on a plate. What is up with you Joel?”
What?
My eyes snapped up and locked with Joel’s. He held my gaze for several seconds, before turning back to Mike.
“I told you, I didn’t want to go there. I don’t have to get with someone every time we go out you know.” He shook his head in mild irritation, as Mike glared open-mouthed at his response.
I was pretty sure mine was wide open too.
My eyes stayed locked on Joel. Was it
Chapter 4 – Changes
Voices filtered through the room, as I took my place for Sunday lunch. Right now I would rather stick pins in my eyes, then be forced to look at Joel. But the only other option was to listen to my Mother screech on about how I needed to eat more. That option was far less desirable, so I reluctantly took my seat, hoping that I would soon be put out of my misery.
Mike was being more vocal than usual. His voice was like nails down a blackboard, every syllable loud and irritating. I shot him a look of disgust, but he remained totally oblivious. He was animatedly chatting away, describing every little detail of his hook up from the night before. His wide grin made me want to punch him repeatedly, even more so after his unwelcoming interference last night.
Even subconsciously he had the power to piss me off. He was a constant pain in the butt, sticking his nose in where it truly wasn’t welcome. I hated how much control he had over Joel. Why was he so weak that he couldn’t say no? I felt the knife twist again, reminding me of his rejection. The tiny piece of hope I had held onto had now evaporated, vanishing into nothing but despair.
I stifled a yawn, disguising the fact my night was long and restless. It had been filled with intense, dark dreams of Joel. Even in sleep he haunted me, teasing me with something that would never be mine.
My finger circled the rim of the glass absentmindedly, trying to block out the inane chatter. I lifted my eyes to take just one peek, to satisfy my curiosity. Allowing myself one moment to look at him, only to find Joel’s eyes locked on me, watching me closely.
I took in a sharp gasp of air, at the intensity of his eyes boring into mine. They softened slightly after a few beats, but they held a look of concern. His lips curled up into a shy smile but I didn’t reciprocate back, and caught his frown as my eyes dropped back down.
His eyes seemed genuinely sincere but I knew the pattern, the routine. He had no doubt lived up to his player role, scoring another girl the moment I was out of sight, out of mind.
I clenched the knife tightly in my hand, feeling the blade dig uncomfortably into my skin. I had set myself up for another fall and boy was I tumbling.
Joel’s eyes remained fixed on me throughout the meal, but mine stayed locked on the plate. Focusing on eating enough to appease my Mother. I didn’t need her suspicions raised any further, by my lack of appetite. That would mean her interfering and meddling in my business, and that just wasn’t happening.
I knew he was anxiously waiting for some sort of sign. A smile. A look. But I refused to give him one. The selfish part of me wanted to punish him, for the way he had treat me last night.
When all the plates were collected and cleared away, I knew I’d be left listening to their in-depth details of last night’s conquests. I needed to leave and fast. Despite my attempts to evade Joel, he was like a magnet, still drawing me in.
My eyes unwillingly flashed up to Joel, who was still staring, almost silently pleading with me. I remembered how good it felt last night, looking deep into those big blue sapphire eyes. How my heart rapidly beat with joy, now they just caused it to ache.
I quickly broke the contact, if I stared any longer I’d lose whatever little self-control I was barely grasping onto. I needed to leave while I still had the strength to.
“I can’t believe you didn’t bang Chloe last night, she was laying it out for you on a plate. What is up with you Joel?”
What?
My eyes snapped up and locked with Joel’s. He held my gaze for several seconds, before turning back to Mike.
“I told you, I didn’t want to go there. I don’t have to get with someone every time we go out you know.” He shook his head in mild irritation, as Mike glared open-mouthed at his response.
I was pretty sure mine was wide open too.
My eyes stayed locked on Joel. Was it
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