Read Online I Am an Emotional Creature: The Secret Life of Girls Around the World by Eve Ensler - Free Book Online Page B
Authors: Eve Ensler
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into the field. I could tell by their expressions. Ntotya was dead. That was my mother’s cow. My mother was crying. I don’t remember her crying before. I realized later she was crying for me. The vultures were already there. They are so patient. They can wait forever.
My father did not wait. I heard them talking. An old man was sitting with him. They would pick a date. My father’s voice was harsh. It was about my dowry, the number of cows. The old man was missing an eye. I tried to imagine kissing him. I tried to imagine never reading again. I tried to imagine them cutting between my legs.
RUNNING AWAY
I didn’t even shower. I had three hundred shillings in my pocket. I saved them instead of buying my Christmas clothes. I escorted my friend Sintoyia down the road. Then I just kept walking. I had heard of a Rescue Center for girls. It was far away. At first I felt freedom in my step, but after six hours it grew dark. I triedto rest under a tree. The wild sounds of hyenas and birds wouldn’t let me sleep. It was as if they were screaming at me. I tried to picture the face of a friendly mama greeting me at the house but then I would see my father’s angry face. He had his stick, a gun, and he was killing me. My heart beat in wild rhythm with the thirsty cicadas as I stumbled along the dark road. I walked away from my father’s house, my family, my life. I walked way out in the wilderness, into night. I walked beyond myself.
I was covered in dust when I arrived. Mama Naanyo was laughing, happy. It was like she had been waiting for me. There were so many other girls who had walked long distances. We were the girls who had to go. We were the girls who left our father’s house. We were the girls who changed tradition. We were a tribe and we grew close. We went to school. I learned that even if there was a drought, my father had no right sell me. It was slavery. I learned that my clitoris belonged to me and could bring me pleasure when I got married. I learned that I can be anything and that girls can know as much as boys and we should be counted.
I found out later that after I ran away my father beat my mother but she stood up for me. My three younger sisters fled into the land. My mother went to the elders.
After a year Mama Naanyo called me in. She said
I have talked to your father and he will see you
. She said
I think you are that strong. I think he is ready to accept you
.
THE RECONCILIATION
My whole body was shaking when I came into his house. I didn’t know if I could stand up. My father was there next to my mother and his four wives. He seemed so old and so much weaker than Iremembered him. I held on to Mama Naanyo. It had been a whole year. I knew I looked good. I had pretty clothes and I had changed. I was a strong confident girl. Everyone started crying. Even my father. Then my sisters came in. They had been living outside all year, in the fields. There was this screaming crying hugging that sisters do. Then I saw my father really looking at me. He could see I was no longer afraid. He could see I had walked through to the other side. He stood and slowly hugged me. He said I had done good and he thanked Mama Naanyo for making me respectable, then he spoke a miracle. He said he would accept me back into his family. He said he would not cut or sell my sisters either.
My mother was so happy. She has always given everything. Pocket money and clothes. This time she risked being beaten.
In spite of what was done to her, she asked the elders for my freedom.
There was a ceremony. All our tribe took the day off from the market to welcome me back. I stood in front and talked. I looked at the women sitting on the ground with their gorgeous beads and colorful cloth, shaved heads and open faces. I looked at my mother, my stepmothers, my sisters, and all my brothers. I loved my family. I loved our wandering and our ways. I loved the way we took care of the land. I loved sharing with the elephants and lions and
My father did not wait. I heard them talking. An old man was sitting with him. They would pick a date. My father’s voice was harsh. It was about my dowry, the number of cows. The old man was missing an eye. I tried to imagine kissing him. I tried to imagine never reading again. I tried to imagine them cutting between my legs.
RUNNING AWAY
I didn’t even shower. I had three hundred shillings in my pocket. I saved them instead of buying my Christmas clothes. I escorted my friend Sintoyia down the road. Then I just kept walking. I had heard of a Rescue Center for girls. It was far away. At first I felt freedom in my step, but after six hours it grew dark. I triedto rest under a tree. The wild sounds of hyenas and birds wouldn’t let me sleep. It was as if they were screaming at me. I tried to picture the face of a friendly mama greeting me at the house but then I would see my father’s angry face. He had his stick, a gun, and he was killing me. My heart beat in wild rhythm with the thirsty cicadas as I stumbled along the dark road. I walked away from my father’s house, my family, my life. I walked way out in the wilderness, into night. I walked beyond myself.
I was covered in dust when I arrived. Mama Naanyo was laughing, happy. It was like she had been waiting for me. There were so many other girls who had walked long distances. We were the girls who had to go. We were the girls who left our father’s house. We were the girls who changed tradition. We were a tribe and we grew close. We went to school. I learned that even if there was a drought, my father had no right sell me. It was slavery. I learned that my clitoris belonged to me and could bring me pleasure when I got married. I learned that I can be anything and that girls can know as much as boys and we should be counted.
I found out later that after I ran away my father beat my mother but she stood up for me. My three younger sisters fled into the land. My mother went to the elders.
After a year Mama Naanyo called me in. She said
I have talked to your father and he will see you
. She said
I think you are that strong. I think he is ready to accept you
.
THE RECONCILIATION
My whole body was shaking when I came into his house. I didn’t know if I could stand up. My father was there next to my mother and his four wives. He seemed so old and so much weaker than Iremembered him. I held on to Mama Naanyo. It had been a whole year. I knew I looked good. I had pretty clothes and I had changed. I was a strong confident girl. Everyone started crying. Even my father. Then my sisters came in. They had been living outside all year, in the fields. There was this screaming crying hugging that sisters do. Then I saw my father really looking at me. He could see I was no longer afraid. He could see I had walked through to the other side. He stood and slowly hugged me. He said I had done good and he thanked Mama Naanyo for making me respectable, then he spoke a miracle. He said he would accept me back into his family. He said he would not cut or sell my sisters either.
My mother was so happy. She has always given everything. Pocket money and clothes. This time she risked being beaten.
In spite of what was done to her, she asked the elders for my freedom.
There was a ceremony. All our tribe took the day off from the market to welcome me back. I stood in front and talked. I looked at the women sitting on the ground with their gorgeous beads and colorful cloth, shaved heads and open faces. I looked at my mother, my stepmothers, my sisters, and all my brothers. I loved my family. I loved our wandering and our ways. I loved the way we took care of the land. I loved sharing with the elephants and lions and
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