for a moment and then laughed. âIâm kidding.â
I could feel my face turning pink. So I was a total dork.
âRiver one, Jillian nothing,â I said, writing the score in the air with my finger.
âNot nothing,â he whispered, his eyes holding mine. âDefinitely not nothing.â
He stepped toward me. The air between us was charged. It was late afternoon. The sun was low in the sky, warming my back. My mom was out. So was Ethan. It was just the two of us, our bodies inches apart.
And he was still staring.
I swallowed, trying to ignore the steady stream of water droplets trickling down my shoulders and back, slipping inside my suit.
He lowered his gaze to my lips.
I needed air.
âSo,â I blurted out, trying to draw a breath. âWas that why you came over ⦠because of how I swim? Or just to goof on me?â
He grinned, socking his head. âHell no, I nearly forgot. Our refrigerator died and my dad wanted to know if we could use your freezer until tomorrow when the new fridge comes. If you have room. And you donât mind ifââ
ââItâs fine.â
âCool.â He laughed. âOr cold, or whatever.â He headed toward the back door of his house, our backyard gate slamming behind him. A few minutes later it slammed again and he was back with a stack of frozen dinners under his arm. He looks embarrassed.
âFrozen food,â he said. âItâs whatâs for dinner.â
âYou really live on those?â
âUh ⦠yeah. We donât cook much â¦â A flicker of sadness passed over his face, and then it vanished.
Why hadnât I just shut up? He didnât have a mom, and his dad worked. Who was there to cook for him or worry about what he ate?
âIâm sorry, I didnât mean â¦â
âNo worries.â
âI just meant I know the coach gets on your case about eating right, soââ
âRight,â he said, nodding robotically.
âYouâre almost in first place, so I guess he doesnât want to â¦â
He looked off, waiting impatiently.
âRiver?â
âWhat?â he said, turning back to me.
âYou can use the pool anytime you want. Weâre hardly ever out here.â
âThanks,â he said, the smile returning. âIâll take you up on that.â
The following week at about ten at night I was upstairs on the phone. Absentmindedly, I walked to the window. The house lights cast enough of a glow for me to see him swimming from one end of the pool to the other, over and over.
I started counting to see how many laps heâd do, but he kept going back and forth, back and forth, in a regular rhythm and I lost count, eventually turning away. I thought about going outside and bringing him cookies and lemonade. Maybe he was thirsty. Or wouldnât have minded taking a break. But I didnât want to bother him, or break into his fantasies, whatever they were.
The honking of horns draws me out of my thoughts. River and his dad ignore each other, their barriers up even though they sit nearly shoulder to shoulder in the front seat. The stony silence is pushing me to take sides. Thereâs no middle ground. Stay in the car? Come up with another plan? I look at my watch. Iâm on a game show with only seconds left before I need to answerâthatâs how it feels.
The sky is changing color, everything deepening to a mix of silvery grays with shots of white light, but the shift is so subtle I feel I need to take pictures, to prove it to myself, so I know Iâm not imagining it. We may be trapped in place, unable to move, but nothingâs holding Danielle back. Sheâs slowly building strength, getting ready to stage her life-altering performance.
So typical of us women. Hazardous, wildly unpredictable! At least thatâs what male meteorologists used to thinkâthatâs why they used only female names
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