Read Online How to speak Dragonese by Cressida Cowell - Free Book Online
Authors: Cressida Cowell
Tags: Fiction, General, Humorous stories, Children's Books, Action & Adventure, Juvenile Fiction, Action & Adventure - General, Fantasy & Magic, Ages 9-12 Fiction, Children: Grades 4-6, Dragons, Vikings
Ads: Link
with extra cheese and Picallilli penguins
Live Frog-and-Dormouse soufflés in
Common-or-Garden sauce
PAUSE FOR A VOMIT
LES DESSERTS
Monstrous Nightmare Crème Brulee with
Smoked haddock and chocolate mousse
Sticky toffee Nadder and whelk pudding
128
"Who have you got over there, Prefect?" he drawled, wiping the cream from the third of his chins. Hiccup noticed that he wasn't looking too well. He was covered from head to toe in nasty red bites, and every now and then he reached out a fat arm to scratch his gigantic blubbery behind.
"This," said Alvin grimly, "is the Heir to the Hairy Hooligans."
"The extraordinarily powerful warrior you were telling me about?" asked the Fat Consul. He looked at Hiccup in astonishment. "But he's so very, very small!"
"Size isn't everything," replied Alvin the Treacherous.
"What are you going to do with him then, Prefect?" asked the Fat Consul.
"I'm going to kill him," said Alvin, giving the Storm blade a nasty swish.
"You promised you wouldn't!" protested Hiccup.
"Tsk, tsk," tutted Alvin, "haven't you learned by now that a Treacherous never keeps his promise?"
"Hang on a second, my dear Prefect," drawled the Fat Consul. "It seems a waste to kill him now.
129
Let him live until Saturn's day Saturday -- I would like to see this extraordinary warrior in action in the gladiatorial arena ..."
"That's not a good idea, Consul," said Alvin. "This boy may not look much, but I assure you I have seen him in action and he could ruin all our plans. We must kill him NOW while we have the chance."
"Who gives the orders round here?" asked the Fat Consul.
"I d --" Alvin recollected himself just in time. "I mean, you do, of course, Consul." Alvin bowed fawningly at him. "But --"
"No arguing, please, Prefect," ordered the Consul.
"At least let me kill the one who looks like a haddock," pleaded Alvin the Treacherous.
"Fishlegs is a BERSERK*, you know, Consul," said Hiccup hurriedly. "I'm sure he'd put on a very exciting fighting display as a gladiator."
"Really?" exclaimed the Fat Consul. "This is proving a very interesting morning. I've never met
*You know the expression "going berserk"? Well, Berserks were Vikings who vent crazy on the battlefield. Good men to have on your side. Not so good when hey were on the other side, though...
130
a Berserk before. He should be most amusing at the Games. The one with the face like a fish lives too, I'm afraid, Prefect."
"But sir --"
The Fat Consul waved away Alvin's objections with one fat hand.
"Put the prisoners in the dungeon with the Bog-Burglar Heir!"
Alvin fought to control his temper. He smiled at the Consul through very gritted teeth. "Of course you know best, sir," he said. "But don't blame me if it all goes wrong ..."
Alvin turned to the Gronckle. "Sit on me!" he ordered in his extremely poor Dragonese. "And put me in the toilet with the other Heirs!"
The Gronckle promptly sat on Alvin. The First Kidnapper had to prod the dragon very hard with the handle of his sword to get the Gronckle off before he squashed Alvin entirely. When he finally emerged from underneath the creature's bottom, Alvin was hopping mad.
"No, no, no!" he shrieked, and then tried to put together the two halves of How to Speak Dragonese, muttering swearwords under his breath as he looked
131
for the right page. "Ah, here it is!" he said with satisfaction. "Pick my nose and put me in the toilet with the Bog-Burglar Heir!"
The Second Kidnapper had to lash out furiously with his sword-handle to prevent the Gronckle from picking Alvin's nose with its gigantic talons. And then the creature picked Alvin up and started trying to stuff him in the Fat Consul's gigantic toilet.
"Carry on!" shrieked Alvin.
[Image: Alvin in the toilet.]
132
"Can I help?" asked Hiccup. He talked to the Gronckle directly. "I think what the Prefect is TRYING to say is, pick US up and put US in the Tower with the Bog-Burglar Heir..."
The Gronckle picked up Hiccup and Fishlegs by the
Live Frog-and-Dormouse soufflés in
Common-or-Garden sauce
PAUSE FOR A VOMIT
LES DESSERTS
Monstrous Nightmare Crème Brulee with
Smoked haddock and chocolate mousse
Sticky toffee Nadder and whelk pudding
128
"Who have you got over there, Prefect?" he drawled, wiping the cream from the third of his chins. Hiccup noticed that he wasn't looking too well. He was covered from head to toe in nasty red bites, and every now and then he reached out a fat arm to scratch his gigantic blubbery behind.
"This," said Alvin grimly, "is the Heir to the Hairy Hooligans."
"The extraordinarily powerful warrior you were telling me about?" asked the Fat Consul. He looked at Hiccup in astonishment. "But he's so very, very small!"
"Size isn't everything," replied Alvin the Treacherous.
"What are you going to do with him then, Prefect?" asked the Fat Consul.
"I'm going to kill him," said Alvin, giving the Storm blade a nasty swish.
"You promised you wouldn't!" protested Hiccup.
"Tsk, tsk," tutted Alvin, "haven't you learned by now that a Treacherous never keeps his promise?"
"Hang on a second, my dear Prefect," drawled the Fat Consul. "It seems a waste to kill him now.
129
Let him live until Saturn's day Saturday -- I would like to see this extraordinary warrior in action in the gladiatorial arena ..."
"That's not a good idea, Consul," said Alvin. "This boy may not look much, but I assure you I have seen him in action and he could ruin all our plans. We must kill him NOW while we have the chance."
"Who gives the orders round here?" asked the Fat Consul.
"I d --" Alvin recollected himself just in time. "I mean, you do, of course, Consul." Alvin bowed fawningly at him. "But --"
"No arguing, please, Prefect," ordered the Consul.
"At least let me kill the one who looks like a haddock," pleaded Alvin the Treacherous.
"Fishlegs is a BERSERK*, you know, Consul," said Hiccup hurriedly. "I'm sure he'd put on a very exciting fighting display as a gladiator."
"Really?" exclaimed the Fat Consul. "This is proving a very interesting morning. I've never met
*You know the expression "going berserk"? Well, Berserks were Vikings who vent crazy on the battlefield. Good men to have on your side. Not so good when hey were on the other side, though...
130
a Berserk before. He should be most amusing at the Games. The one with the face like a fish lives too, I'm afraid, Prefect."
"But sir --"
The Fat Consul waved away Alvin's objections with one fat hand.
"Put the prisoners in the dungeon with the Bog-Burglar Heir!"
Alvin fought to control his temper. He smiled at the Consul through very gritted teeth. "Of course you know best, sir," he said. "But don't blame me if it all goes wrong ..."
Alvin turned to the Gronckle. "Sit on me!" he ordered in his extremely poor Dragonese. "And put me in the toilet with the other Heirs!"
The Gronckle promptly sat on Alvin. The First Kidnapper had to prod the dragon very hard with the handle of his sword to get the Gronckle off before he squashed Alvin entirely. When he finally emerged from underneath the creature's bottom, Alvin was hopping mad.
"No, no, no!" he shrieked, and then tried to put together the two halves of How to Speak Dragonese, muttering swearwords under his breath as he looked
131
for the right page. "Ah, here it is!" he said with satisfaction. "Pick my nose and put me in the toilet with the Bog-Burglar Heir!"
The Second Kidnapper had to lash out furiously with his sword-handle to prevent the Gronckle from picking Alvin's nose with its gigantic talons. And then the creature picked Alvin up and started trying to stuff him in the Fat Consul's gigantic toilet.
"Carry on!" shrieked Alvin.
[Image: Alvin in the toilet.]
132
"Can I help?" asked Hiccup. He talked to the Gronckle directly. "I think what the Prefect is TRYING to say is, pick US up and put US in the Tower with the Bog-Burglar Heir..."
The Gronckle picked up Hiccup and Fishlegs by the
Similar Books
