Read Online How to Outrun a Crocodile When Your Shoes Are Untied by Jess Keating - Free Book Online Page A

lunged forward and caught the meat in his mouth. With one big, backward swing of his head, he tossed the meat to the back of his throat. Water had splashed onto us, but the mother didn’t seem to notice. Beatrix was awestruck, her fingers stretched along the glass partition.
    â€œAgain!” she cried, beaming up at me with saucer eyes. She could give lessons in persuasion, seriously.
    I tried to distract her with more useless knowledge. “Did you know that Louie is thirty-four years old? That’s almost as old as…” I glanced at her mother, who wore a tight smile. “My mom!” I went on, “Louie will probably live to be eighty years old.”
    Beatrix smiled. “That’s good. I like Louie.”
    Her mother’s eyebrows raised in surprise. “You do? Well, that’s great! Maybe we can bring you back here soon to see him again.” She watched as Beatrix poked at the glass wall and turned to me, whispering, “Thank you again, so much. Bea hasn’t been having a great time at school this year. It’s lovely to see her so happy. You’re quite the natural with this.” She nodded to Louie’s scaly head.
    I shrugged, giving a small smile. Whatever makes the kid happy. I waved to them as they left the croc pavilion. Beatrix was already yammering away about “crocodiles this” and “crocodiles that” and her mother was eagerly nodding. I was bummed to see them leave; there was something addictive and thrilling about getting to unload random facts to someone who didn’t already know them. For the first time since Liv left, I had felt almost like myself. With my heart buzzing proudly, I peeked hopefully around the pavilion to see if there was anyone else there. It was then I noticed my own mother staring at me from the caiman enclosure.
    She had a huge grin on her face.
    â€œ Honeyyyy! ” She dragged out the word like a whine and rushed over to me. “That was amazing! I didn’t know you liked giving presentations. You were great with that little girl!” She gawked at me.
    A spasm of fear trampled down the proud feeling I had. I must have made a face because Mom started shaking her head like it was on a spring.
    â€œSeriously, Ana—that was great. You should have seen yourself. You have a gift! You were so confident! Why don’t you think about doing some educational presentations for people at the zoo—instead of all this mucking about you’re doing?”
    For a moment, I went insane and almost considered it. Then I realized that I liked the muck work. It meant I could wear a plain, brown uniform and disappear into the background. It was safe when everything else felt new and weird lately.
    My throat double clutched as I imagined the possibilities. Educational staff around here not only wore nerdy, bright green uniforms, but they also had to wear name tags. Name tags! They flounce around pointing at this and that and yakking about the different animals. They were the opposite of invisible. There was no way I was going to mess with my arrangement here. Can you say, “Hello, my name is Freak Show?” Who did she think I was, Grandpa?
    Of course, my mom didn’t need to know how messed up her daughter was, so I brought it down a notch and said, “Um…I don’t think so.”
    She knew better than to respond right now, but I could tell she was storing this conversation in the part of her brain where she puts things she intends on bringing up later. Possibly when the target was cornered in a car.
    Can you imagine? Okay. So I didn’t hate talking to Beatrix about crocodiles, but she’s only one kid. You can’t stay anonymous and stand in front of a crowd of people at the same time. That’s like vanilla ice cream wanting to be mint chip. And I am so sticking with Team Vanilla. Between my crazy parents, my grandpa, and my reptile-crazed brother, I had to distance myself as much