Read Online How to Marry Your Wife by Stella Marie Alden - Free Book Online Page B

eyes. Thomas, no doubt, was straight overhead and would be frowning yet again at her weakness.
    A rough palm rested upon her forehead, he cursed, and his hand slipped under her arse. “Put your arms around my neck.”
    Odd, how they wanted not to obey, but she forced them to do as asked. “Put me down. I’m fine now. It was just the smell.”
    “You’ve got a heat in your body. You’ve caught a vapor. We’ll need to hold up here.”
    “I’m never ill. Never.” Memories reinforced her belief. “Okay, mayhap when I was pregnant.”
    He growled. “You better not be.”
    “Oh, shut it. I’ve known no man since you left years ago. Just put me down. I can walk. I tell you, it was just the smell. For God’s sake, don’t take me into that wretched tavern again. You forget. I’ve only lived with Lady Ann who believes in the cleanest of keeps. Never have I smelled the likes of that place. I won’t eat in there. I’d prefer to eat in the barn.”
    “You’re the most difficult of women.” He set her down on her feet, but kept one hand upon her back when she wobbled.
    “No, Thomas. I am a woman. Something you seem to have no knowledge of whatsoever.” She moaned and sat down on the grass, and a hand went dead center into a plop of horse dung. “Argh!”
    “God’s holy nails, I should’ve married an infidel. At least they keep their mouths shut, don’t puke in front of taverns, and make dutiful with their husbands at night.”
    “Aye. I agree. That would’ve been for the best. And I’d be on my way to marry an Earl instead of being forced to Scotland.” She squinted and gave him her fiercest of go-to-the-devil looks.
    He glared back.
    Time stood still until she picked up her hand covered in dung, regarded her dress splattered in puke, and she snickered. Then she laughed, because that was all she had left. She’d never cry for him again.
    The tiniest of grins hinted at the corner of his mouth. “Are you daft?”
    “No. I’m perfectly sane. That’s the problem. A sane woman in this farce of a play. I’m going out to that barn. See to it that it’s cleared for me and find an iron tub. Have it filled with at least tepid water. Do you think, dearest husband, that you could manage that smallest boon for me?”
    “You’ll go upstairs like a fine lady and do as I asked.” He put his hands to his hips.
    “I will not step one foot in that pigsty, nor will I eat a morsel from its kitchen.”
    “Enough.” He approached, the world went upside down, and his shoulder dug into her stomach.
    She pounded his solid arse with her fists and bits of horse dung flew everywhere. “Put me down.”
    “Clamp your fingers over your nose and shut that mouth of yours. I’ll bring you directly to a room and send in the tavern’s daughter to see that it is properly aired.”
    “You shall n—”
    His hand swatted her behind. Not hard enough to feel pain, but enough to sting at the indecency of it all. “I warned you. My men are in that tavern and I’ll not have them believing I’ve been bested by my wife.”
    When they entered the building, she did as he asked while they ascended the narrow staircase. He opened the door where a pallet fit for twelve lay and set her upon her feet. “We sleep here.”
    “Us and how many others?” She opened the shutters wide and fanned in fresh air with her sleeves.
    “I gave away a king’s ransom to have it for ourselves tonight. A gift to you.” He scratched a palm over his rough face. “I’ve made a muck of it again, haven’t I?”
    She missed the happy man she’d known. Even the Thomas who’d arrived in the bathhouse three days prior was jollier. Knowing she was the cause of his turnabout made her chest constrict. “Today is clear evidence of what I’ve been trying to explain. We just don’t suit. You’re a man of the world. An explorer. I’m an old maid, who other than leaving my father’s keep as a child, has never traveled. How could either expect the other to