4WD missing from the shed and a palpable lack of tension around the place. Margaret must have left with him so I began seeing Lucy more often. Spanner warned me a couple of times.
âDonât go there.â Or, âIf he finds out heâll be furious.â What would he do, sack me? Of course there was also bravado â I donât care look at me Iâm not scared of Palmenter â and also a showing off: I got the girl and you blokes didnât. But who was I kidding? Palmenter scared me. When he was away everyone just went about station lifeand ignored us, so Lucy and I spent most afternoons and evenings together, but always there were Spannerâs words in the back of my mind.
After the heat of the day we would walk around the settlement, out around the firebreak that took us on a circuit behind all the buildings. It was like walking around an island, the waves of spinifex and scrub washed the shores of our paradise and we talked of lifeboats and rescue, of many things. I didnât find out much about her but I do know she had lived near the sea because I remember that island thing. The spinifex was an unswimmable ocean and a voyage across would lead to either freedom or certain death. It depended on your state of mind.
The girls werenât allowed to eat in the cafeteria, a rule that for some reason persisted even when Palmenter wasnât around because I donât think anyone would have cared. After dinner Lucy would sneak out to my room and we would make love, or sometimes I would take a blanket and we would go for midnight walks and lie together and talk of stars and other worlds and life and infinity. A few times, we borrowed a car from Spanner and went for a picnic or a swim down at the waterhole but it was difficult to do that because Palmenter strictly rationed the fuel.
Funny how time is. The weeks after I first arrived I was kept busy, the hours passed quickly but the weeks dragged. It seemed like a lifetime but in fact it was only a few months after I first arrived that Lucy and I met. Now, with Lucy, the days dragged but the weeks flew by. I stopped thinking so much of home and I remember Palmenter commenting to me that I seemed to be enjoying the place more. A muster and an import were due. He had arrived: the first sign was his car was in the shed, and suddenly everyone seemed on edge. The tension at mealtimes came back. Spanner drank a few more beers each day and preferred to stay by himself in the shed. No one said anything, but you just knew it was down to Palmenter. Lucy and I kept seeing each other but she didnât stay in my room overnight and we didnât make love anymore. She said it was because she had a lot of work to do but I knew it was something else, something she couldnât talk about. She wasnât herself on ourevening walks. Occasionally she would let me hold her hand, but it was fleeting, cautious. I felt we were like misbehaving children.
The last time I saw her was three days before the muster. We all knew a muster was coming. Cookie had to do extra food, Spanner was busy, Charles arrived with the truckload of vans, and Palmenter himself was forever coming and going, roaring into the compound in a cloud of dust. He would make calls on the satellite phone while standing on the verandah and would glare at anyone who dared to come near him. One morning, without warning, Palmenter called me over and told me I was to do a bore run. Spanner would organise a 4WD van for me and a map of the tracks I was to follow. He wanted me to leave that day, after lunch. I tried to find Lucy to tell her but every time I went near the homestead Palmenter was there, he seemed to be watching me. Why was it so urgent to suddenly do a bore run? Iâd done them before but now I needed a map, had to go further, all the way out along the eastern boundary. Why? Was this some sort of punishment because of me and Lucy?
The night before, Lucy and I had met by the water
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