I couldn’t see the death table anymore, I sat on the curb of the empty street and let myself cry. Tucker sat a ways away. After a few minutes of silence, I turned to him. “I am such an idiot. I’m so sorry. I never asked about your brother. Is Dale okay?”
Tucker nodded at my admission, apparently agreeing that I was an idiot. Fair enough. “Dale isn’t answering his cell, and I can’t find him. I suppose he’s probably dead, but I don’t know, so …” He let his voice trail off.
“Your parents?”
“Dad ran off a few years back, but Mom died just before the initial craziness. She wasn’t well for awhile.”
“Oh, Tucker, I’m sorry about being such a brat earlier. I’m not embarrassed to be seen with you, that’s not it at all. It’s just I think you and Meri are treating me like I might go crazy at any moment.” Tucker shook his head. “I think maybe I’m afraid of the same thing.”
“Don’t,” Tucker said. “Look, I’m the one who pushed myself into your life. I know that.” He seemed truly uncomfortable for a moment, looking away. When he looked back at me, he was assured once more. “I used to have a crush on you, you know. In Chemistry.” He grinned a little at the unexpected joke.
I suppose I had known that. But to be honest, we really hadn’t been in the same high school social groups, and we had both known it. Harsh but true. I had been nice to him, but he had treated me more like I was a goddess rather than his lab partner. And if I’m really being honest, I had liked his adoration. I feel like a jerk saying that, but what can I say? Being seventeen can mean being rather self-absorbed. Now here he was talking about it, and I didn’t know what to say. I was too emotionally worn out to prevaricate, so I said, “Yeah, I guess. But Tucker, you really don’t seem like the same person now. You’re still nice and everything, still Tucker, just more, um …”
“Intelligent,” he finished, a little flatly. I shrugged, embarrassed. He said, “I know. I’m not sure what the hell happened. I look back at my life and it’s like I was living in a bubble or something.” He frowned. “I can’t explain it well, but I know I’ve changed.”
I looked up suddenly. “When, Tucker? When did you notice it? Recently?”
He nodded. “Recently, yeah. I noticed it a day or two before I came upon you and Eddy.” He saw the look on my face. “I know, it’s probably not even really me, it’s just whatever chemical is floating around, or whatever virus they dosed us with.” He gave a short laugh. “I bet I’m one of the few people who don’t want to be cured. Everything that used to be so hard for me is easy now. Decisions? No problem. Understanding what other people are talking about? Again, not an issue anymore.”
“Oh, Tucker,” I said in a heartfelt way. I could imagine what he must be going through, watching all these people die, and being secretly glad that that it had affected him like this. Another thought occurred to me. I looked at him, upset. “Do you think it will go away?”
He sighed. “I hope not, but if it does, then it does. It’s one reason why I want to help people now, while I can be of some help. It’s nice to be the helper instead of being the one who needs help.”
“Did I ever say thank you for saving me? For helping out when I was sick? For putting up with me while I cry and whine and be a first-class bitch?”
He chuckled. “My pleasure, fair lady. And now, I think we should get back before the cops find us sitting out here and shoot us.” He was smiling, but I wondered if it would ever get to that point. No. It was quiet enough. Surely the whole thing was winding down now.
We walked back to the apartment. Meri sighed with relief when we arrived, and took the food into the kitchen. She smiled at Tucker, and he followed her into the kitchen, leaving me alone in the living room. I sat down on the couch, turning on the news. Amazingly enough,
Tucker nodded at my admission, apparently agreeing that I was an idiot. Fair enough. “Dale isn’t answering his cell, and I can’t find him. I suppose he’s probably dead, but I don’t know, so …” He let his voice trail off.
“Your parents?”
“Dad ran off a few years back, but Mom died just before the initial craziness. She wasn’t well for awhile.”
“Oh, Tucker, I’m sorry about being such a brat earlier. I’m not embarrassed to be seen with you, that’s not it at all. It’s just I think you and Meri are treating me like I might go crazy at any moment.” Tucker shook his head. “I think maybe I’m afraid of the same thing.”
“Don’t,” Tucker said. “Look, I’m the one who pushed myself into your life. I know that.” He seemed truly uncomfortable for a moment, looking away. When he looked back at me, he was assured once more. “I used to have a crush on you, you know. In Chemistry.” He grinned a little at the unexpected joke.
I suppose I had known that. But to be honest, we really hadn’t been in the same high school social groups, and we had both known it. Harsh but true. I had been nice to him, but he had treated me more like I was a goddess rather than his lab partner. And if I’m really being honest, I had liked his adoration. I feel like a jerk saying that, but what can I say? Being seventeen can mean being rather self-absorbed. Now here he was talking about it, and I didn’t know what to say. I was too emotionally worn out to prevaricate, so I said, “Yeah, I guess. But Tucker, you really don’t seem like the same person now. You’re still nice and everything, still Tucker, just more, um …”
“Intelligent,” he finished, a little flatly. I shrugged, embarrassed. He said, “I know. I’m not sure what the hell happened. I look back at my life and it’s like I was living in a bubble or something.” He frowned. “I can’t explain it well, but I know I’ve changed.”
I looked up suddenly. “When, Tucker? When did you notice it? Recently?”
He nodded. “Recently, yeah. I noticed it a day or two before I came upon you and Eddy.” He saw the look on my face. “I know, it’s probably not even really me, it’s just whatever chemical is floating around, or whatever virus they dosed us with.” He gave a short laugh. “I bet I’m one of the few people who don’t want to be cured. Everything that used to be so hard for me is easy now. Decisions? No problem. Understanding what other people are talking about? Again, not an issue anymore.”
“Oh, Tucker,” I said in a heartfelt way. I could imagine what he must be going through, watching all these people die, and being secretly glad that that it had affected him like this. Another thought occurred to me. I looked at him, upset. “Do you think it will go away?”
He sighed. “I hope not, but if it does, then it does. It’s one reason why I want to help people now, while I can be of some help. It’s nice to be the helper instead of being the one who needs help.”
“Did I ever say thank you for saving me? For helping out when I was sick? For putting up with me while I cry and whine and be a first-class bitch?”
He chuckled. “My pleasure, fair lady. And now, I think we should get back before the cops find us sitting out here and shoot us.” He was smiling, but I wondered if it would ever get to that point. No. It was quiet enough. Surely the whole thing was winding down now.
We walked back to the apartment. Meri sighed with relief when we arrived, and took the food into the kitchen. She smiled at Tucker, and he followed her into the kitchen, leaving me alone in the living room. I sat down on the couch, turning on the news. Amazingly enough,
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