Horrible Harry and the Green Slime

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Authors: Suzy Kline
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can?” Mary replied.
    â€œYes,” Harry said. “Our skit is about death.”
    â€œDEATH?” we asked.
    â€œSmoking kills,” Harry said. “You heard the principal.”
    Ida spoke up, “I’m not going to be the one who dies—that’s for sure!”
    â€œMe either,” Mary said. “That’s a horrible part.”
    Harry grinned. “We need three people to die. I’m one.”
    â€œI’ll be the other,” I said. “I’m not afraid to pretend that I’m dead.”
    â€œNot me,” Sidney said. “No way. Playing dead is creepy.”
    Song Lee spoke softly, “It is true. Cigarette make you not have long life. I die for skit.” And then she added, “Do I have to say anything before I die?”
    â€œYou don’t have to. You just have to stand up with Doug and me and look like a king.”
    â€œA KING! I WANT TO BE A KING!” Sidney shouted.
    Miss Mackle came over to us. “How are we doing? Is there a problem?”
    Sidney answered right away, “Harry is bossing everyone around.”
    â€œIs that true?” the teacher asked us.
    Song Lee shook her head. “We talk. Harry listen. Now Harry has good idea for skit.”
    Miss Mackle smiled and moved on to the next group.
    â€œLook Sidney,” Harry said. “If you want to be a king you have to be willing to die. The king in this skit dies.”
    Sidney looked like he was going to cry. “Can the king just be wounded? I could play a wounded king.”
    â€œThe king dies, Sidney,” Harry replied.
    â€œThen I won’t be one,” Sidney said.
    â€œCan I play the piano?” Mary said with her hands folded.
    â€œYes. And we will need two angels,” Harry added.
    Ida jumped up and down. “Good! I get to be an angel.”
    Sidney shook his head. “I’m not going to be any angel. Girls are angels. Not boys.”
    Mary disagreed. “There are boy angels and girl angels. Heaven is a fair place.”
    Harry continued, “We’ll need three blankets and three crowns for the kings and halos and sheets for the angels.”
    â€œSome choice,” Sidney complained. “A dead king or a dumb angel.”
    Mary put her hands on her hips. “Angels are not dumb. They are perfect beans.”
    â€œKidney or lima beings?” Sidney asked. And then he cackled and giggled.
    â€œHave you made your choice?” Harry asked Sidney when he was through cackling.
    â€œYeah, I’ll be a kidney bean.”
    Nobody said anything. Just Sidney. He laughed by himself.
    We brought the props and costumes in the next day. Song Lee brought in gold garland for the halos, and aluminum foil and buttons and sequins for the crowns.
    â€œMy mother sew,” Song Lee said. “She has many thing.”
    We worked hard on the props the next day. We practiced the singing part of our skit at recess because we wanted it to be a surprise.
    Friday afternoon, we had a little theater. Miss Mackle called on the four groups to perform. When it was our turn, Harry introduced us.
    â€œAnd now—” he said. “We are happy to present ‘The Deadly Skit.’ ”
    Miss Mackle backed up against the blackboard. A piece of chalk fell and shattered into tiny pieces.
    Harry, Song Lee, and I stood in front of the class. We had blankets around us and crowns on our heads. They sparkled with sequins.
    Mary started to play on the piano.
    We began to sing: “We three kings of Orientar, tried to smoke a smelly cigar....”
    Then we started puffing on a Tootsie Roll. (Harry had brought those in.) Song Lee fell to the ground coughing and choking and rolling over until she died.
    Harry and I continued singing. Mary continued playing. “We two kings of Orientar, tried to smoke a smelly cigar....”
    Then I fell down to the ground coughing and choking and rolling over until I died.
    Harry was the only king left.

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