Read Online Hollywood Ass. by Jonas Eriksson - Free Book Online Page B

giving you the space you need. Don’t take it as an offense. All is good in the hood.”
    “I don’t know which hood you’re referring to, but I can’t see much good in this situation right now. It’s kind of hard to shake the feeling that he’s just over me and it makes me want to be over him too.”
    B poked around her food with her fork and looked like a mix between pissed-off and miserable. It made my heart sink.
    “Is it that easy to be over someone after five years? That sounds ridiculous to me. I think you’re just protecting your feelings. There’s still plenty of life in your relationship and you know it. But you must both be willing to sit down with each other and blow some life in it.”
    “You and your metaphors. The heart knows what the heart knows, that’s all I can say at this stage. Which in this case means that he’s fucking someone else. And I have a strong feeling about this so don’t give me some bullshit or try and cover for him. Let’s talk about something more fun.” B finished her glass, put it down on the table and looked me in the eyes. She suddenly seemed changed. Now she had taken on the look of a determined woman, completely in charge of herself and her emotions.
    But I feared it was only her acting skills talking.
     
    ***
     
    After our late lunch the mood was not exactly down, but solemn and contemplative. B seemed to have made up her mind that her husband was a cheating bastard and she wasn’t going to let him enter into conversation again. My guess was that she just wanted to put him as far from her mind as possible and although she was smart enough to know that it wasn’t going to work in the long run, she felt it was the best decision for enjoying the present, something I couldn’t disagree with.
    We were walking around the picturesque streets, pointing to beautiful details on the facades and commenting on the remarkably elegant people and on how vibrant and romantic the city felt compared to LA. I noticed how she slowly got more into the groove, a smile sneaking onto her lips and her eyes opening properly. The city had a clear effect on her and I must say I really liked the B that came out. She was natural, charming and humorous. We had a really good time and I couldn’t help but think how much we were both smiling and laughing - a rare occurrence those last 12-18 months.
    We were standing on a bridge, just looking out on the river Tiber, when I said: “You’re like a different person here. You’re like that girl I started working for four years ago - the one with the tireless energy and the bubbly laughter. I’m really happy to see that person again.”
    B wore a quizzical look on her face, “You really think so? I guess I’m more relaxed here, it’s the obvious reason. I feel like there’s nothing I have to live up to. So what if people recognize me, somehow I’m still not worried the way I am back in the States. I don’t need to be constantly on guard and it’s such a relief.”
    “I can understand that, I know you’re stressed out most of the time and it sometimes confuses me how anyone can live at that speed. But that’s the deal you get with fame.”
    “I guess it’s life. You just have to deal with whatever cards you’re dealt, but no matter how lucky you are, sometimes you can’t help but feel you got handed really shitty cards. Not that I’m complaining, I know I’m rich and famous and all that and I know some people would gladly cut off body parts to be in my shoes. Still, the grass is always greener on the other side, and sometimes I long for a less complicated existence.”
    We had talked about this plenty of times and I knew B loved her luscious lifestyle and being in the spotlight. But, obviously, when the going got rough, she wanted out.
    “That’s what everybody feels, everybody thinks there’s something over the rainbow, something bigger, better, or just different. But usually small adjustments is everything we need to feel fine