forked tongue flitted out, and his red eyes gleamed.
I clenched my fists. "So
you're
the scumbag that ripped off my little sister."
"Why, yesss."
"You robbed the wrong student, buster."
A nasty grin played across his mug. "Ooh. Bold wordsss from the cluelesss shamusss. How droll."
I hate it when the bad guys mock.
"Oh, yeah?" I said. "We already caught your partner in crime, Luz Lipps."
The boa slithered a little lower. "Have you? I bet she didn't confesss."
"Not yet," said Natalie from behind me. "But she will."
I shot her a warm glance. "That's right. We detectives have our ways."
Balthazar Boa chuckled, a sound like dead leaves blowing over a gravestone. "Your waysss? Like the way you misssed me at the serpentsss' protesst?"
"You were the anaconda with the signs?" I said, shaking my head. "Dang. I always did have a problem telling boy snakes from girl snakes."
Natalie crossed the tent floor. "So you and Percy are in it together."
The boa scoffed. "That wusss? Percy and his idealisstic foolsss provided a perfect cover for me to cassse the ssschool and contact my little thievesss."
Natalie cocked her head. "But why did Luz leave school grounds that day?"
Bal Boa slithered closer still. We backed up.
"To make a drop-off at my tree, of courssse," he said.
"Your tree?" Natalie elbowed me. "I
told
you we were being watched."
"No, you didn't," I said. "
I
told you."
The huge snake scowled. "Enough chitchat. I'm
taking thisss egg, and you can't do a thing to ssstop me.
"Oh, yeah?" I circled nearer to the treasure. "And how will you carry it without any hands, Stretch?"
I reached for the jeweled egg.
"Like thisss," said the boa.
Wham-bam!
His wedge-shaped head shot out, and the Flubberjee Egg was gone!
"Put that back!" cried Natalie.
"Unh-hrmm," said Bal Boa around the egg in his mouth.
"Natalie, get the cops!" I cried.
She crouched, ready for action. "What are you going to do?"
I eyeballed the snake, now slithering back up onto the tent frame. "I'll, uh, think of something. Go!"
She flew to the door.
Just thenâ
kzzatch!
âthe glass case shattered on the floor, andâ
ka-ka-BOOOM!
âthe fireworks exploded outside.
"You'll never get away," I said. "You can't slither fast enough."
"Hghah!" laughed Balthazar Boa. The egg had worked its way into his throat. "I don't hghave to!"
Footsteps pounded behind me. I whirled. Was it the cops?
No such luck. Two beefy iguanas stood there, dressed in whiteface, baggy pants, and multicolored wigs.
"Gah," I said, staggering back.
Not clowns again.
Anything but clowns.
17. Egg, Borrow, and Steal
The painted iguanas stood between me and the door. Somehow, under the makeup, they seemed familiar.
"You don't listen too good, do you, bright boy?" said Squinchy Eye. "We told you to leave town."
Nose Ring advanced on me. Under his ruff, he wore pearlsâMom's pearls.
"Give ... those ... back," I choked out.
But I couldn't raise a finger. I crouched against the wall, cornered by clowns.
"Can oy squeeze 'im now?" said Nose Ring.
"Don't sssqueeze
hghim,
" said the massive boa. "Sssqueeze
me.
"
Thunk!
He plummeted to the floor like an elephant high-wire act.
"Ooh," said Nose Ring. "Eight-point-five!"
Squinchy Eye addressed the snake. "I don't follow, chief."
"Danged peristalsisss," said Boa, slithering up to them. "I cgh-can't stop ssswallowing the egg, so you must sssqueeze it ogh-out of me."
"Ah, right you are," said the iguana. "Grab his tail," he told Nose Ring.
The second lizard moved into place. Squinchy Eye wrapped his hands around the bulge in the snake's gullet.
"Hghurry," said Balthazar Boa. "The copsss..."
Squinchy Eye grinned. "They're busy putting out the fire."
"W-what fire?" I asked, still unsteady.
"The one we started with fireworks, of course." He gave a yank on the egg.
"Cgh-careful," choked the boa.
Paralyzed by Bozo-phobia, my mind was as gummed up as the bottom of a balcony seat at the movies. Should I run for help?
I clenched my fists. "So
you're
the scumbag that ripped off my little sister."
"Why, yesss."
"You robbed the wrong student, buster."
A nasty grin played across his mug. "Ooh. Bold wordsss from the cluelesss shamusss. How droll."
I hate it when the bad guys mock.
"Oh, yeah?" I said. "We already caught your partner in crime, Luz Lipps."
The boa slithered a little lower. "Have you? I bet she didn't confesss."
"Not yet," said Natalie from behind me. "But she will."
I shot her a warm glance. "That's right. We detectives have our ways."
Balthazar Boa chuckled, a sound like dead leaves blowing over a gravestone. "Your waysss? Like the way you misssed me at the serpentsss' protesst?"
"You were the anaconda with the signs?" I said, shaking my head. "Dang. I always did have a problem telling boy snakes from girl snakes."
Natalie crossed the tent floor. "So you and Percy are in it together."
The boa scoffed. "That wusss? Percy and his idealisstic foolsss provided a perfect cover for me to cassse the ssschool and contact my little thievesss."
Natalie cocked her head. "But why did Luz leave school grounds that day?"
Bal Boa slithered closer still. We backed up.
"To make a drop-off at my tree, of courssse," he said.
"Your tree?" Natalie elbowed me. "I
told
you we were being watched."
"No, you didn't," I said. "
I
told you."
The huge snake scowled. "Enough chitchat. I'm
taking thisss egg, and you can't do a thing to ssstop me.
"Oh, yeah?" I circled nearer to the treasure. "And how will you carry it without any hands, Stretch?"
I reached for the jeweled egg.
"Like thisss," said the boa.
Wham-bam!
His wedge-shaped head shot out, and the Flubberjee Egg was gone!
"Put that back!" cried Natalie.
"Unh-hrmm," said Bal Boa around the egg in his mouth.
"Natalie, get the cops!" I cried.
She crouched, ready for action. "What are you going to do?"
I eyeballed the snake, now slithering back up onto the tent frame. "I'll, uh, think of something. Go!"
She flew to the door.
Just thenâ
kzzatch!
âthe glass case shattered on the floor, andâ
ka-ka-BOOOM!
âthe fireworks exploded outside.
"You'll never get away," I said. "You can't slither fast enough."
"Hghah!" laughed Balthazar Boa. The egg had worked its way into his throat. "I don't hghave to!"
Footsteps pounded behind me. I whirled. Was it the cops?
No such luck. Two beefy iguanas stood there, dressed in whiteface, baggy pants, and multicolored wigs.
"Gah," I said, staggering back.
Not clowns again.
Anything but clowns.
17. Egg, Borrow, and Steal
The painted iguanas stood between me and the door. Somehow, under the makeup, they seemed familiar.
"You don't listen too good, do you, bright boy?" said Squinchy Eye. "We told you to leave town."
Nose Ring advanced on me. Under his ruff, he wore pearlsâMom's pearls.
"Give ... those ... back," I choked out.
But I couldn't raise a finger. I crouched against the wall, cornered by clowns.
"Can oy squeeze 'im now?" said Nose Ring.
"Don't sssqueeze
hghim,
" said the massive boa. "Sssqueeze
me.
"
Thunk!
He plummeted to the floor like an elephant high-wire act.
"Ooh," said Nose Ring. "Eight-point-five!"
Squinchy Eye addressed the snake. "I don't follow, chief."
"Danged peristalsisss," said Boa, slithering up to them. "I cgh-can't stop ssswallowing the egg, so you must sssqueeze it ogh-out of me."
"Ah, right you are," said the iguana. "Grab his tail," he told Nose Ring.
The second lizard moved into place. Squinchy Eye wrapped his hands around the bulge in the snake's gullet.
"Hghurry," said Balthazar Boa. "The copsss..."
Squinchy Eye grinned. "They're busy putting out the fire."
"W-what fire?" I asked, still unsteady.
"The one we started with fireworks, of course." He gave a yank on the egg.
"Cgh-careful," choked the boa.
Paralyzed by Bozo-phobia, my mind was as gummed up as the bottom of a balcony seat at the movies. Should I run for help?
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