much to ask. It always has been. But I’m asking.”
Cassandra hesitated, and James wondered if this time she would finally draw the line. “I want to help you. You know that.”
He nodded. Where was this going?
“Things are different now.” Then her face lit up in a smile so soft, so radiant, that for a moment he hardly recognized his rough-and-tumble friend. “Because of Spencer. He’s not just a man I’ve been seeing; he’s important to me. He might even be
the
man.”
“Really?” James couldn’t help smiling back. Fancy Cassandra head over her heels in love.
“Maybe. I hope so. But he’s not the kind of person to sneak around behind another man’s back. We only got started because I told him you and I were as good as through. Then when you and I pretended to break it off—it’s serious between us, now, and if I come back to you, it’s all over.”
James considered this in silence for a while. It was one thing to ask Cassandra to endure the judgment and anger of the public as his pretend-girlfriend, quite another to ask her to scuttle a promising relationship. Even though it had been only an illusion, the connection he’d believed he felt with Ben in Kenya had showed James what falling in love might feel like. He couldn’t steal that from Cassandra, no matter what.
“Let’s consider the possibilities,” he said. “Spencer’s a good man, you said. An honorable man.”
“Very much so.”
“You trust him.”
“Completely.”
“Would he keep a secret?”
Her eyes widened. “You want to tell him the truth?”
“Maybe he’d agree to play along for a while, if he understood the whole story. He ought to know that you were never cheating on me, not for a moment. And he ought to know what a good friend you’ve been to me. How selfless you are. Maybe we can never tell the whole world that, but we could tell Spencer, at least.”
“Oh, James.” She seemed nearly speechless, an event so rare that James intended to tease her about it later. “You’d do that for me?”
“After everything you’ve done for me, it’s the least I owe you. If Spencer doesn’t want to go along with it, all right, you and I will find a way to wrap it up.” The very idea of ending their ruse filled James with unease; at the moment, he desperately wanted something in his life,
anything
, to remain the same. But he couldn’t continue to abuse Cassandra’s friendship so egregiously. “What do you think are the odds he’ll agree to the charade?”
“He’ll probably go for it, honestly, just because he’d love the idea of playing a joke on the whole world. Certainly he’d never, ever tell anyone else. You’re going to like Spencer, I just know it. And he’s going to like you too, if he knows what’s good for him!”
Laughing, Cassandra hugged James tightly, and he took what comfort he could in her embrace. The thought of revealing his secret to a total stranger was frightening—but after spending the last day in nonstop terror, he felt this seemed like a minor problem in comparison.
You hurt me
, he said to the Ben Dahan in his head, in the first of what would be many imagined dialogues.
But you made me stronger.
• • •
Although a bedroom in Clarence House had been reserved for Cassandra ever since they’d left university, she didn’t stay over that night. Neither of them wanted the tabloids to start reporting their supposed reunion until they’d had a chance to speak to Spencer Kennedy, together.
“I’ll tell him you’ve invited him for a cordial lunch,” she said as she headed for the door; Glover would be waiting downstairs with her mackintosh in his hands. “Spencer will be skeptical, but I can get him through the doors, never you worry. And I’ll leave the big reveal to you.”
“Thank you, darling.” They’d called each other that for years. It began as a joke for the public, but it now felt perfectly true. Had James been straight, he
would
have married
Cassandra hesitated, and James wondered if this time she would finally draw the line. “I want to help you. You know that.”
He nodded. Where was this going?
“Things are different now.” Then her face lit up in a smile so soft, so radiant, that for a moment he hardly recognized his rough-and-tumble friend. “Because of Spencer. He’s not just a man I’ve been seeing; he’s important to me. He might even be
the
man.”
“Really?” James couldn’t help smiling back. Fancy Cassandra head over her heels in love.
“Maybe. I hope so. But he’s not the kind of person to sneak around behind another man’s back. We only got started because I told him you and I were as good as through. Then when you and I pretended to break it off—it’s serious between us, now, and if I come back to you, it’s all over.”
James considered this in silence for a while. It was one thing to ask Cassandra to endure the judgment and anger of the public as his pretend-girlfriend, quite another to ask her to scuttle a promising relationship. Even though it had been only an illusion, the connection he’d believed he felt with Ben in Kenya had showed James what falling in love might feel like. He couldn’t steal that from Cassandra, no matter what.
“Let’s consider the possibilities,” he said. “Spencer’s a good man, you said. An honorable man.”
“Very much so.”
“You trust him.”
“Completely.”
“Would he keep a secret?”
Her eyes widened. “You want to tell him the truth?”
“Maybe he’d agree to play along for a while, if he understood the whole story. He ought to know that you were never cheating on me, not for a moment. And he ought to know what a good friend you’ve been to me. How selfless you are. Maybe we can never tell the whole world that, but we could tell Spencer, at least.”
“Oh, James.” She seemed nearly speechless, an event so rare that James intended to tease her about it later. “You’d do that for me?”
“After everything you’ve done for me, it’s the least I owe you. If Spencer doesn’t want to go along with it, all right, you and I will find a way to wrap it up.” The very idea of ending their ruse filled James with unease; at the moment, he desperately wanted something in his life,
anything
, to remain the same. But he couldn’t continue to abuse Cassandra’s friendship so egregiously. “What do you think are the odds he’ll agree to the charade?”
“He’ll probably go for it, honestly, just because he’d love the idea of playing a joke on the whole world. Certainly he’d never, ever tell anyone else. You’re going to like Spencer, I just know it. And he’s going to like you too, if he knows what’s good for him!”
Laughing, Cassandra hugged James tightly, and he took what comfort he could in her embrace. The thought of revealing his secret to a total stranger was frightening—but after spending the last day in nonstop terror, he felt this seemed like a minor problem in comparison.
You hurt me
, he said to the Ben Dahan in his head, in the first of what would be many imagined dialogues.
But you made me stronger.
• • •
Although a bedroom in Clarence House had been reserved for Cassandra ever since they’d left university, she didn’t stay over that night. Neither of them wanted the tabloids to start reporting their supposed reunion until they’d had a chance to speak to Spencer Kennedy, together.
“I’ll tell him you’ve invited him for a cordial lunch,” she said as she headed for the door; Glover would be waiting downstairs with her mackintosh in his hands. “Spencer will be skeptical, but I can get him through the doors, never you worry. And I’ll leave the big reveal to you.”
“Thank you, darling.” They’d called each other that for years. It began as a joke for the public, but it now felt perfectly true. Had James been straight, he
would
have married
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