Read Online His Impassioned Proposal (The Bridgethorpe Brides) by Aileen Fish - Free Book Online Page A
Authors: Aileen Fish
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padded seat and rubbed the butt of his hand over his left thigh. “I hadn’t considered that for you, my being away was no different whether you were betrothed to me, or not. By not asking for your hand, I sought to protect you from the burden of worrying about me.”
“I would have worried nearly as much for Knightwick or David, had they gone.” She meant it, but they were like brothers or cousins to her. In spite of her efforts to the contrary, she couldn’t call her affections for Stephen brotherly.
He was such a kind, gentle person. She’d never seen him fight with anyone other than the childhood scuffles with his cousins, which had usually ended with grins in spite of the bruises and bumps. Of course, she’d never seen him drink before, either. Liquor changed a man, wasn’t that what people said? Could she ask him to pledge not to drink?
Jane hated to think of Stephen as cut from the same cloth as her uncle. She wished there was a way to determine if a man was likely to be cruel to his wife or family. Someone would have seen something in his manner before now.
They had circled around and were nearing Carrington Abbey again when Stephen said, “I am sorry for any grief I have caused you in the past, Jane.”
She rested her hand on his as it held the reins. “Any grief was far outweighed by the joy your friendship has given me.”
When they reached the other girls, he helped her down from the curricle and assisted the last of the young ladies onto the seat, bowed briefly to Jane and drove off after David and his rider.
Jane joined the other girls and motioned to Hannah. “Let’s go inside,” she mouthed before walking that direction. When they had made their way to a small sitting room, Jane pursed her lips and let out a slow breath. “I am glad that is over with. Now that I know he is not suffering, I can put my thoughts toward finding a husband.”
“Is it as easy as that? You’ve decided not to marry Stephen so you forget you ever had feelings for him?”
An unexpected wave of tears filled Jane’s eyes as anger twisted her belly. “I will never forget him. Perhaps when you are faced with choosing among your suitors you will see how difficult the matter truly is.”
Jane stopped, shaking her head. “No, I could never wish that upon you. I hope you find love that is so overwhelming you have no choice but to follow it. If you do, let nothing come between you and your beloved.”
Hannah untied her bonnet and removed her gloves and pelisse, setting them in a chair. “You have me so confused, Jane. Are you saying your love for Stephen was not the overwhelming kind? Or that something has come between you?”
Jane had never told anyone but her mother about that horrid night she’d spent under her uncle’s roof. Family secrets such as that weren’t shared, even among the closest of friends. And to tell Hannah her fears would be as much as to accuse Stephen of being capable of such an act. She didn’t want to believe him capable.
Her own weakness was the cause of her fears. Her inability to trust Stephen to keep her safe was holding her back. If she came across any suitor in such a drunken state as he’d been in, she would feel the same fear. But she was certain Stephen’s family would only see the accusation and not her doubts. She slipped off her pelisse and pulled at the wrinkles caused by wear while she composed her thoughts. “No, neither of those is true. I have come to realize how lucky I am that my father has offered to pay for another Season, and to give the search for a husband any less than my entire efforts would be inconsiderate. I will always have fond memories of Stephen, but it was silly of me to believe myself in love. I fear perhaps I made him into a hero in my mind, and no man deserves to be measured against another who could never exist. Now I must look beyond my childhood attachment and find a man I can grow to love as an adult.”
Her stomach knotted as she spoke.
“I would have worried nearly as much for Knightwick or David, had they gone.” She meant it, but they were like brothers or cousins to her. In spite of her efforts to the contrary, she couldn’t call her affections for Stephen brotherly.
He was such a kind, gentle person. She’d never seen him fight with anyone other than the childhood scuffles with his cousins, which had usually ended with grins in spite of the bruises and bumps. Of course, she’d never seen him drink before, either. Liquor changed a man, wasn’t that what people said? Could she ask him to pledge not to drink?
Jane hated to think of Stephen as cut from the same cloth as her uncle. She wished there was a way to determine if a man was likely to be cruel to his wife or family. Someone would have seen something in his manner before now.
They had circled around and were nearing Carrington Abbey again when Stephen said, “I am sorry for any grief I have caused you in the past, Jane.”
She rested her hand on his as it held the reins. “Any grief was far outweighed by the joy your friendship has given me.”
When they reached the other girls, he helped her down from the curricle and assisted the last of the young ladies onto the seat, bowed briefly to Jane and drove off after David and his rider.
Jane joined the other girls and motioned to Hannah. “Let’s go inside,” she mouthed before walking that direction. When they had made their way to a small sitting room, Jane pursed her lips and let out a slow breath. “I am glad that is over with. Now that I know he is not suffering, I can put my thoughts toward finding a husband.”
“Is it as easy as that? You’ve decided not to marry Stephen so you forget you ever had feelings for him?”
An unexpected wave of tears filled Jane’s eyes as anger twisted her belly. “I will never forget him. Perhaps when you are faced with choosing among your suitors you will see how difficult the matter truly is.”
Jane stopped, shaking her head. “No, I could never wish that upon you. I hope you find love that is so overwhelming you have no choice but to follow it. If you do, let nothing come between you and your beloved.”
Hannah untied her bonnet and removed her gloves and pelisse, setting them in a chair. “You have me so confused, Jane. Are you saying your love for Stephen was not the overwhelming kind? Or that something has come between you?”
Jane had never told anyone but her mother about that horrid night she’d spent under her uncle’s roof. Family secrets such as that weren’t shared, even among the closest of friends. And to tell Hannah her fears would be as much as to accuse Stephen of being capable of such an act. She didn’t want to believe him capable.
Her own weakness was the cause of her fears. Her inability to trust Stephen to keep her safe was holding her back. If she came across any suitor in such a drunken state as he’d been in, she would feel the same fear. But she was certain Stephen’s family would only see the accusation and not her doubts. She slipped off her pelisse and pulled at the wrinkles caused by wear while she composed her thoughts. “No, neither of those is true. I have come to realize how lucky I am that my father has offered to pay for another Season, and to give the search for a husband any less than my entire efforts would be inconsiderate. I will always have fond memories of Stephen, but it was silly of me to believe myself in love. I fear perhaps I made him into a hero in my mind, and no man deserves to be measured against another who could never exist. Now I must look beyond my childhood attachment and find a man I can grow to love as an adult.”
Her stomach knotted as she spoke.
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