Read Online His for Now (His #2) by Octavia Wildwood - Free Book Online Page A
Authors: Octavia Wildwood
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voice. I told myself I was just acting, but the truth is I’ve never been that great of an actress. Though I refused to admit it even to myself, there was a part of me that desperately wanted Hayden’s reassurance.
Setting his plate down, he turned to look at me. “Daniella, I’ve cut everyone I care about out of my life. For…years now, I’ve had a lonely, isolated existence. I gave up on ever having the things other people take for granted: connections, intimacy, trust. Then I met you and it made me reconsider everything I thought I knew.”
“Why?” I wasn’t fishing for compliments. I was trying to piece together the shattered fragments of my ego. I was a strong woman. Hayden’s words that morning so long ago that somehow felt like yesterday wouldn’t destroy me. But they’d knocked me down so hard that I was still trying to catch my breath.
This was me picking myself up. With or without his validation, I’d survive. But I wanted to do more than just survive – I wanted to a reason to come alive. Don’t we all?
“You know me,” he said simply. “Maybe this sounds silly, but when we touch it’s like we can communicate without speaking a single word. When you look at me it feels like you’re inside my head, rea ding my thoughts.”
His gaze lingered on my lips and for a brief moment I thought he was going to kiss me. I held my breath, unsure of whether or not I wanted him to. But he didn’t. Though I tried to ignore it, I couldn’t deny the disappointment that caused.
“When we kiss,” he said, “it’s like you’re that part of my life – that part of me – I didn’t even realize was missing. Even just sitting with you in the mornings reading the paper…it made me feel better just knowing you were there with me. Daniella, I think about you all the time.”
The truth was I thought about him too, but I wasn’t about to say it. I didn’t consider myself to be one of those unfortunate damaged souls who are unable to be vulnerable, but I also wasn’t one to touch a hot stove after having already been burned.
My guard was up – and so was my heart rate. God, it wasn’t even a case of want anymore. I needed him…needed to feel him inside me.
I tried to convince myself that I could separate my feelings from sex. I wasn’t going to put myself in a position to let Hayden hurt me again. I couldn’t, because even the strongest foundation can only weather so many storms before it begins to crumble. And in my case, the repairs, precarious and subject to destruction, had only just begun.
“I miss you,” I told him. It wasn’t an act. It was the truth. I hated that it was the truth.
Hope flickered in his eyes. “I miss you too,” he answered at once. Looking like a man in the desert who couldn’t decide if he’d stumbled upon an oasis or was hallucinating, he asked, “Daniella, do you think you can ever forgive me?”
Averting my eyes, I swallowed hard. “Let’s not talk about that right now,” I told him. “In fact, let’s not talk at all.”
With my unrestrained hand, I pulled him in close for a kiss. I could tell he was surprised by the sudden gesture, but he didn’t resist. On the contrary, he kissed me deeply and passionately, like his life depended on it. Maybe mine did too. It felt like I’d been underwater this whole time, drowning, and his lips were oxygen.
Despite one hand being cuffed to the bed, I tore at Hayden’s white button up shirt as best I could. A couple buttons popped off in my frenzy to undress him but if he noticed he didn’t seem to mind. His tongue was too busy reuniting with mine, his hands sliding up my skirt and into my panties.
Dizzy from his attentions, I spread my legs and raised my hips so he could ease my panties down. I cringed when I saw they were less-than-sexy white cotton granny panties – when I’d dressed that morning I hadn’t exactly
Setting his plate down, he turned to look at me. “Daniella, I’ve cut everyone I care about out of my life. For…years now, I’ve had a lonely, isolated existence. I gave up on ever having the things other people take for granted: connections, intimacy, trust. Then I met you and it made me reconsider everything I thought I knew.”
“Why?” I wasn’t fishing for compliments. I was trying to piece together the shattered fragments of my ego. I was a strong woman. Hayden’s words that morning so long ago that somehow felt like yesterday wouldn’t destroy me. But they’d knocked me down so hard that I was still trying to catch my breath.
This was me picking myself up. With or without his validation, I’d survive. But I wanted to do more than just survive – I wanted to a reason to come alive. Don’t we all?
“You know me,” he said simply. “Maybe this sounds silly, but when we touch it’s like we can communicate without speaking a single word. When you look at me it feels like you’re inside my head, rea ding my thoughts.”
His gaze lingered on my lips and for a brief moment I thought he was going to kiss me. I held my breath, unsure of whether or not I wanted him to. But he didn’t. Though I tried to ignore it, I couldn’t deny the disappointment that caused.
“When we kiss,” he said, “it’s like you’re that part of my life – that part of me – I didn’t even realize was missing. Even just sitting with you in the mornings reading the paper…it made me feel better just knowing you were there with me. Daniella, I think about you all the time.”
The truth was I thought about him too, but I wasn’t about to say it. I didn’t consider myself to be one of those unfortunate damaged souls who are unable to be vulnerable, but I also wasn’t one to touch a hot stove after having already been burned.
My guard was up – and so was my heart rate. God, it wasn’t even a case of want anymore. I needed him…needed to feel him inside me.
I tried to convince myself that I could separate my feelings from sex. I wasn’t going to put myself in a position to let Hayden hurt me again. I couldn’t, because even the strongest foundation can only weather so many storms before it begins to crumble. And in my case, the repairs, precarious and subject to destruction, had only just begun.
“I miss you,” I told him. It wasn’t an act. It was the truth. I hated that it was the truth.
Hope flickered in his eyes. “I miss you too,” he answered at once. Looking like a man in the desert who couldn’t decide if he’d stumbled upon an oasis or was hallucinating, he asked, “Daniella, do you think you can ever forgive me?”
Averting my eyes, I swallowed hard. “Let’s not talk about that right now,” I told him. “In fact, let’s not talk at all.”
With my unrestrained hand, I pulled him in close for a kiss. I could tell he was surprised by the sudden gesture, but he didn’t resist. On the contrary, he kissed me deeply and passionately, like his life depended on it. Maybe mine did too. It felt like I’d been underwater this whole time, drowning, and his lips were oxygen.
Despite one hand being cuffed to the bed, I tore at Hayden’s white button up shirt as best I could. A couple buttons popped off in my frenzy to undress him but if he noticed he didn’t seem to mind. His tongue was too busy reuniting with mine, his hands sliding up my skirt and into my panties.
Dizzy from his attentions, I spread my legs and raised my hips so he could ease my panties down. I cringed when I saw they were less-than-sexy white cotton granny panties – when I’d dressed that morning I hadn’t exactly
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