Read Online Highland Revenge (Fated Hearts Book 1) by Ceci Giltenan - Free Book Online Page B
Authors: Ceci Giltenan
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abide by that.”
“But maybe he shouldn’t have said nay. A ride is a little enough thing to ask.”
Fiona listened to the argument and remembered all too well a similar time in her life. She understood, and her heart went out to Anna.
Eoin looked at her, his expression filled with concern. “Fiona, ye’re upset. I’m sorry. I will take ye both for a ride tomorrow. I just can’t this afternoon.”
“It isn’t necessary. I’m not upset by not being able to ride today. I was just remembering how I felt when my parents died.”
“Ye see, ye need to be more patient,” said Tasgall.
“Nay, that isn’t it. I remember hurting so much and feeling so very alone.”
“Ye became Finn,” said Eoin quietly.
“Aye, I became Finn. I dressed as a boy and climbed trees. I argued and pushed everyone away as hard as I could. If someone told me not to do something, then that was the thing I had to do. I think I wanted someone to stop me. To tell me nay. To show me they loved me.”
“Ye think she doesn’t feel loved?” asked Tasgall incredulously.
“Not exactly, but I think a loving parent makes us feel safe by setting limits. When we push too hard, they pull us back and we know they love us enough to protect us from ourselves. She knows ye love her enough to give her certain freedoms, but maybe not enough to stop her from going too far. I think she feels like a ship that has lost its mooring. She said it herself, Eoin; ye aren’t her da, but I think she needs that solid presence. Would yer da have tolerated that behavior?”
“Nay, he wouldn’t have. Aiden has been telling me I needed to be more firm with her for weeks.”
“Only because she was annoying me, no end, but what Fiona says makes sense. I remember when our mother died. I was barely eight. Everyone was distraught. Da was heartbroken, but Grizel was there. She was just her bossy old self. I remember getting mad at her over something and screaming ‘ Ye aren’t my mama .’ ‘ Nay, ’ she said, ‘ but I couldn’t love ye more if I were. And what’s more, I loved yer mama too, and I won’t let her wee lad behave like a heathen. ’”
Eoin and Tasgall laughed and Aiden smiled. “I miss Grizel nearly as much as I miss Mama and Da.”
Eoin nodded. “I do too. Well, wise Fiona, what do ye think I should do now?”
“Explain to her what ye didn’t want to say in front of me.”
Eoin arched an eyebrow. “I don’t know what ye’re talking about.”
“Aye ye do. Even though ye treat me as a guest, we all know I am not really a guest. Therefore it wouldn’t be prudent to allow me to ride out of Naomh-dùn with yer sister unless we had a substantial escort. Ye were keeping her safe and ensuring I didn’t escape.”
“Fiona, I—”
“It’s all right, Eoin. I would never do anything to hurt Anna, but ye’re right to protect her. I think it may help her to know that ye act out of love and concern for her and not just because ye’re ‘being mean on purpose’.”
“She could try the patience of Job, but I do love her.”
“Did yer aunt and uncle finally figure this out?” asked Aiden.
“I suppose they did. I don’t dress like a lad anymore.” The men chuckled. “Still, I think my uncle must have controlled me for the sake of having control and not because he loved me particularly. I guess that’s abundantly clear now.” She looked at them, but couldn’t bear the pity she saw in their eyes. “Excuse me please.” She rose and left the hall as quickly and with as much grace as she could muster, hurrying up the stairs. As she passed Anna’s chamber, she heard muffled sobs through the door. Fiona wanted to comfort her; however, she knew Anna needed Eoin and she could already hear his footfalls on the stairs. She wouldn’t interfere. She slipped quietly into her own chamber and shut the door.
She envied Anna—all of the MacKays really. It was clear they loved each other. She had no one, and the realization of that
“But maybe he shouldn’t have said nay. A ride is a little enough thing to ask.”
Fiona listened to the argument and remembered all too well a similar time in her life. She understood, and her heart went out to Anna.
Eoin looked at her, his expression filled with concern. “Fiona, ye’re upset. I’m sorry. I will take ye both for a ride tomorrow. I just can’t this afternoon.”
“It isn’t necessary. I’m not upset by not being able to ride today. I was just remembering how I felt when my parents died.”
“Ye see, ye need to be more patient,” said Tasgall.
“Nay, that isn’t it. I remember hurting so much and feeling so very alone.”
“Ye became Finn,” said Eoin quietly.
“Aye, I became Finn. I dressed as a boy and climbed trees. I argued and pushed everyone away as hard as I could. If someone told me not to do something, then that was the thing I had to do. I think I wanted someone to stop me. To tell me nay. To show me they loved me.”
“Ye think she doesn’t feel loved?” asked Tasgall incredulously.
“Not exactly, but I think a loving parent makes us feel safe by setting limits. When we push too hard, they pull us back and we know they love us enough to protect us from ourselves. She knows ye love her enough to give her certain freedoms, but maybe not enough to stop her from going too far. I think she feels like a ship that has lost its mooring. She said it herself, Eoin; ye aren’t her da, but I think she needs that solid presence. Would yer da have tolerated that behavior?”
“Nay, he wouldn’t have. Aiden has been telling me I needed to be more firm with her for weeks.”
“Only because she was annoying me, no end, but what Fiona says makes sense. I remember when our mother died. I was barely eight. Everyone was distraught. Da was heartbroken, but Grizel was there. She was just her bossy old self. I remember getting mad at her over something and screaming ‘ Ye aren’t my mama .’ ‘ Nay, ’ she said, ‘ but I couldn’t love ye more if I were. And what’s more, I loved yer mama too, and I won’t let her wee lad behave like a heathen. ’”
Eoin and Tasgall laughed and Aiden smiled. “I miss Grizel nearly as much as I miss Mama and Da.”
Eoin nodded. “I do too. Well, wise Fiona, what do ye think I should do now?”
“Explain to her what ye didn’t want to say in front of me.”
Eoin arched an eyebrow. “I don’t know what ye’re talking about.”
“Aye ye do. Even though ye treat me as a guest, we all know I am not really a guest. Therefore it wouldn’t be prudent to allow me to ride out of Naomh-dùn with yer sister unless we had a substantial escort. Ye were keeping her safe and ensuring I didn’t escape.”
“Fiona, I—”
“It’s all right, Eoin. I would never do anything to hurt Anna, but ye’re right to protect her. I think it may help her to know that ye act out of love and concern for her and not just because ye’re ‘being mean on purpose’.”
“She could try the patience of Job, but I do love her.”
“Did yer aunt and uncle finally figure this out?” asked Aiden.
“I suppose they did. I don’t dress like a lad anymore.” The men chuckled. “Still, I think my uncle must have controlled me for the sake of having control and not because he loved me particularly. I guess that’s abundantly clear now.” She looked at them, but couldn’t bear the pity she saw in their eyes. “Excuse me please.” She rose and left the hall as quickly and with as much grace as she could muster, hurrying up the stairs. As she passed Anna’s chamber, she heard muffled sobs through the door. Fiona wanted to comfort her; however, she knew Anna needed Eoin and she could already hear his footfalls on the stairs. She wouldn’t interfere. She slipped quietly into her own chamber and shut the door.
She envied Anna—all of the MacKays really. It was clear they loved each other. She had no one, and the realization of that
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