the hell out of here.”
“Because you had a panic attack?” Marcus circled her wrists with his fingers and pinned
her in position. “Nothing happened. It worked out fine.”
“Nothing happened?” she shouted. Becki jerked her hands back, but he refused to release
her. She set her jaw and glared. “I don’t
know
what happened, Marcus, that’s the trouble. My God, I did it again. I blacked out.
What—”
She closed her eyes and stiffened, trembling shaking her limbs. Marcus loosened his
grip, instead stepping in closer to catch hold of her neck and pull her tight against
his body. She stood stiffly, her head tucked under his chin, arms rigid at her sides.
At least until he’d held her for a couple of minutes, breathing slowly, willing her
to relax. Willing her to put it behind her.
When she snuck her arms around him and squeezed him tight, it was his turn to finally
take a real breath.
Becki lifted her hands to his chest and pushed them apart. “I’m sorry. Panic doesn’t
help. Neither does shouting. Thank you. I assume you had to rescue my ass.”
He nodded. “Alisha helped. You’ll want to thank her as well.”
“Great, there goes my hero status.” Becki shook her head. “Well, I wasn’t that keen
on being the climbing goddess anyway.”
She pulled the rope end from the figure eight and loosened herself in short order
now that she wasn’t shaking.
“You’ve still got a lot to offer the team. This doesn’t change anything.”
Becki looked at him like he’d grown another head. “It changes everything. You can’t
be serious. You’re not still thinking about trusting me with your team?”
“You thinking of giving up? Quitting completely and finding a new job?”
Her head dropped, but only for a second. Then she stared at him intently. “Never.
I will get over this. I don’t know when—”
“And if I offer to train you, like you offered me, you think you can find anyone or
any place better to help you take those steps? Or a better time than right now to
start?”
Becki undid the waist belt connections, letting the heavy harness fall to the floor
with a sudden crash. “No. No, and no. Damn you, Marcus, you’re turning this into another
training session, and I was supposed to be all grown up and doing the teaching this
time.”
“Can I help it if you forgot a few of the lessons I taught you? I’m offering a refresher.”
He shouldn’t have taken it there. Not now, not when she was still freshly terrified.
But hell if he was going to let her run away. Or even walk—this was too important.
Something about seeing her freeze had changed everything. It was no longer just sexual
interest he felt, the lingering desire to get physical. Her panic had triggered an
emotion he hadn’t experienced in what seemed to be forever.
The need to get emotionally involved—to make a difference. This time on a personal
level, not something worthwhile but generic like the distraction of his rescue squad.
It was as if embers had been stirred under him, cracking the icy core inside him.
The desire to focus on something other than the misery he spent so much energy hiding
from the team. His personal ghosts had haunted him for far too long, and by now he
never expected them to go away. He’d accepted his occasional nightmares as unavoidable,
but allowing her to suffer if there was any way to help was unacceptable.
Making sure that Becki didn’t have to deal with unanswered questions for the next
four years of her life—it was a good goal to which to turn his considerable attention.
If he had to smack her with the one common denominator they’d had all those years
ago—sex—he’d damn well take advantage of it.
Her expression changed from indignation to passion before she snapped a lid on her
control.
Marcus didn’t let up. “Together we’ll train the team. Outside of that time, you will
train me and help me figure out how to
“Because you had a panic attack?” Marcus circled her wrists with his fingers and pinned
her in position. “Nothing happened. It worked out fine.”
“Nothing happened?” she shouted. Becki jerked her hands back, but he refused to release
her. She set her jaw and glared. “I don’t
know
what happened, Marcus, that’s the trouble. My God, I did it again. I blacked out.
What—”
She closed her eyes and stiffened, trembling shaking her limbs. Marcus loosened his
grip, instead stepping in closer to catch hold of her neck and pull her tight against
his body. She stood stiffly, her head tucked under his chin, arms rigid at her sides.
At least until he’d held her for a couple of minutes, breathing slowly, willing her
to relax. Willing her to put it behind her.
When she snuck her arms around him and squeezed him tight, it was his turn to finally
take a real breath.
Becki lifted her hands to his chest and pushed them apart. “I’m sorry. Panic doesn’t
help. Neither does shouting. Thank you. I assume you had to rescue my ass.”
He nodded. “Alisha helped. You’ll want to thank her as well.”
“Great, there goes my hero status.” Becki shook her head. “Well, I wasn’t that keen
on being the climbing goddess anyway.”
She pulled the rope end from the figure eight and loosened herself in short order
now that she wasn’t shaking.
“You’ve still got a lot to offer the team. This doesn’t change anything.”
Becki looked at him like he’d grown another head. “It changes everything. You can’t
be serious. You’re not still thinking about trusting me with your team?”
“You thinking of giving up? Quitting completely and finding a new job?”
Her head dropped, but only for a second. Then she stared at him intently. “Never.
I will get over this. I don’t know when—”
“And if I offer to train you, like you offered me, you think you can find anyone or
any place better to help you take those steps? Or a better time than right now to
start?”
Becki undid the waist belt connections, letting the heavy harness fall to the floor
with a sudden crash. “No. No, and no. Damn you, Marcus, you’re turning this into another
training session, and I was supposed to be all grown up and doing the teaching this
time.”
“Can I help it if you forgot a few of the lessons I taught you? I’m offering a refresher.”
He shouldn’t have taken it there. Not now, not when she was still freshly terrified.
But hell if he was going to let her run away. Or even walk—this was too important.
Something about seeing her freeze had changed everything. It was no longer just sexual
interest he felt, the lingering desire to get physical. Her panic had triggered an
emotion he hadn’t experienced in what seemed to be forever.
The need to get emotionally involved—to make a difference. This time on a personal
level, not something worthwhile but generic like the distraction of his rescue squad.
It was as if embers had been stirred under him, cracking the icy core inside him.
The desire to focus on something other than the misery he spent so much energy hiding
from the team. His personal ghosts had haunted him for far too long, and by now he
never expected them to go away. He’d accepted his occasional nightmares as unavoidable,
but allowing her to suffer if there was any way to help was unacceptable.
Making sure that Becki didn’t have to deal with unanswered questions for the next
four years of her life—it was a good goal to which to turn his considerable attention.
If he had to smack her with the one common denominator they’d had all those years
ago—sex—he’d damn well take advantage of it.
Her expression changed from indignation to passion before she snapped a lid on her
control.
Marcus didn’t let up. “Together we’ll train the team. Outside of that time, you will
train me and help me figure out how to
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