Read Online Hienama by Storm Constantine - Free Book Online Page B

Gesaril, isn’t it?’ I
said, standing at the threshold.
    ‘It wasn’t good,’ Ysobi said,
with his back to me.
    ‘What wasn’t?’
    ‘We…’ He put down a dish into
the sink and turned round. ‘Let’s go back to the other room.’
    My heart had stilled. I felt I
had become partly dead.
    In the living room, I sat on
the sofa and stared at him. ‘What do you want to tell me?’
    Ysobi sat opposite me on a chair,
leaned forward. ‘He fell apart on me, Jass. I’ve never seen
anything like it.’
    I frowned. ‘That doesn’t mean
anything to me. What happened? Have you begun the arunic arts?’
    Ysobi nodded. ‘This afternoon,
yes.’
    A chill skittered through me. I
didn’t want to hear more, and yet I knew I had to.
    Ysobi sighed through his nose
before speaking. ‘At first, it was just as if he was uncomfortable
with it, which happens. I kept it low key. It’s an important phase,
as you know. It helps a har to reach his potential. It’s vital it
goes smoothly. Anyway, I… Jass, I don’t want to upset you… Can you
cope with this?’
    No, most likely not. I
swallowed. ‘We talked about this, Yz. I’m your chesnari. You can
speak to me about anything.’
    He closed his eyes briefly.
‘Thanks. Anyway, we were reaching the end of it, when he started
moaning. At first, I thought… Well, you can imagine. The peak came,
and it seemed all right to me, then he screamed. He didn’t stop
screaming. He was hysterical. I pulled out of him and there was
blood, quite a lot of it.’
    ‘What?’ I could see it in my
mind’s eye. I could smell it.
    Ysobi had gone very pale. ‘It
must have been my fault. He’s young, not long past feybraiha. I
must have torn him. He was tight, Jass, and I know that because of
all the arunic work I’ve done...’ He gestured helplessly. ‘It was
like I’d butchered him. He must have been bleeding for some time,
but I hadn’t noticed.’ He clenched his hands into fists. ‘I should
have noticed.’
    ‘God.’ I put my head in my
hands. That was far too much detail. My stomach turned over. I
could taste sour metallic wine in my throat.
    ‘I had to calm him down, stay
with him, give him healing. The bleeding stopped eventually.’ Ysobi
groaned in utter bewilderment. ‘It’s never happened to me before. I
don’t understand it. It wasn’t as if I’d lost control. I was being
careful. I…’
    I couldn’t bear any more. The
stink of blood, the taste of it, consumed my senses. I stood
up and went to the kitchen, where I vomited over the dirty dishes.
I felt it would never end, or I’d throw up my insides. It was like
I’d been poisoned. My belly ached. There were spots of light before
my eyes.
    Ysobi came in after me, leaned
against my back, held my stomach. He made soothing noises, and when
I’d finished retching said, ‘I’m so sorry, Jass.’
    ‘It’s OK,’ I managed to say. I
turned on the tap and let water splash over my cupped hands. I
drank as much as I could to get rid of that hideous taste. ‘I’m
just feeling queasy. I should stop drinking wine until after the
pearl has dropped.’
    Ysobi held me tighter. ‘You
don’t want to hear these things, I know, and your body’s in a state
unknown to you. But you’re the only one I can talk to.’
    ‘I know. I’m all right with it,
Yz, honestly, but it’s still a shock to hear it.’ I took another
drink of water from the tap and turned round in Ysobi’s arms to
face him. Somehow, I was able to ask: ‘How is he now?’
    ‘I left him at my place. He’s
sleeping.’ Ysobi paused. ‘I think I’ll have to go back tonight. He
doesn’t look good. It’s like he’s in shock.’
    ‘Oh.’
    He tilted my chin up with one
hand. ‘Jass, you do understand, don’t you?’
    ‘Yes,’ I said, perhaps too
sharply. ‘You warned me. I stand by what I said.’
    He kissed me, but I wanted to
pull away. I guessed he’d had his mouth on Gesaril’s soume-lam, and
it felt contaminated.
    It took every shred of will