Read Online HH02 - A Reclusive Heart by R.L. Mathewson - Free Book Online Page A
Authors: R.L. Mathewson
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this would be the last
little act of rebellion that he'd have to deal with from her. At least it damn well better be, he decided as he followed after her.
********
"Oh my god, I love you, J.L. Lewis!" a woman screamed, startling her.
As discretely as she could she leaned to the side to see who was screaming, only to groan. A large woman wearing a
homemade t-shirt with her penname plastered on it was jumping up and down excitedly with five other women sporting the
same shirt.
Maybe it was time for a break? she thought, shooting a hopeful glance towards Nick only to see him shake his head firmly,
once. That's all it took for her to paste the weak smile back on her face and turn around in her chair to greet her next fan.
Only an hour into this and she wasn't sure that she could do it any longer. This was too much for her. She wasn't used to
this much attention and every time a new person stepped up for her autograph she had to fight back a surge of panic that
threatened to drop her to her knees. This wasn't her. If last night had taught her anything it was that she couldn't handle things
like this.
Why the hell had she sold her business and taken this job? Because she was an idiot and thought that if she forced herself
into a situation then her survival skills would kick in and she'd be able to acclimate. It was a really stupid plan, she decided as
she signed her name, barely able to register what the person in front of her was saying. When she walked away smiling, Jamie
felt her shoulders slump in relief only to tense right back up when the next person stepped up.
This was a bad idea. She couldn't do this. She didn't care if they sued her and demanded that she give all the money back.
She just couldn't do this. This wasn't her life and she didn't want it to be, not anymore, and definitely not after last night. She
needed to go home to her small lonely apartment and resign herself to the fact that she was meant to be alone forever.
"Excuse me," she said, her voice shaking as she stood up and knocked her chair over. She felt her face burn as every head
turned in her direction with looks of amusement and confusion.
Why the heck hadn't she snuck out of her room this morning and made a run for it? She wanted to, planned to, but just as
she grabbed her bag Nick banged on her door and demanded that she get her buns going so they could prepare for this morning,
but nothing, not the three hour lecture or the pointers that he gave her had prepared her for this. She hoped that she'd be able to
deal once she sat down at the small table covered with stacks of her books, but she'd been wrong, so wrong.
The moment she stepped into the large ballroom she felt the same discomfort she'd felt last night when she'd stepped into
the club. All day yesterday and up until last night she'd felt excited and even giddy at the prospect of trying new things. That all
ended the moment she stepped into the club.
Within seconds she realized that she didn't belong, but wouldn't allow herself to leave. As she made her way to the bar
she prayed that no one would notice her, but they sure banged into her. Once she found a seat she sat down and refused to
leave. After thirty minutes she somehow managed to grab the bartender's attention and got a drink, because by that point she'd
needed sugar, badly.
All of her excitement and plans ended the moment she saw the dance floor. She'd been intrigued even as she felt her
newfound self-esteem deflate. She didn't know how to dance and was too scared to give it a try and she wanted to, so badly,
but couldn't bring herself to take a risk. She was weak and as pathetic as Caitlyn said and this whole experience proved it.
"Are you okay?" the older woman standing in front of her asked with grandmotherly concern that should have eased some
of her panic, but it didn't. She needed to get out of here now.
"Excuse me," she said, swallowing as she took a step back. "I-I just need a drink of
little act of rebellion that he'd have to deal with from her. At least it damn well better be, he decided as he followed after her.
********
"Oh my god, I love you, J.L. Lewis!" a woman screamed, startling her.
As discretely as she could she leaned to the side to see who was screaming, only to groan. A large woman wearing a
homemade t-shirt with her penname plastered on it was jumping up and down excitedly with five other women sporting the
same shirt.
Maybe it was time for a break? she thought, shooting a hopeful glance towards Nick only to see him shake his head firmly,
once. That's all it took for her to paste the weak smile back on her face and turn around in her chair to greet her next fan.
Only an hour into this and she wasn't sure that she could do it any longer. This was too much for her. She wasn't used to
this much attention and every time a new person stepped up for her autograph she had to fight back a surge of panic that
threatened to drop her to her knees. This wasn't her. If last night had taught her anything it was that she couldn't handle things
like this.
Why the hell had she sold her business and taken this job? Because she was an idiot and thought that if she forced herself
into a situation then her survival skills would kick in and she'd be able to acclimate. It was a really stupid plan, she decided as
she signed her name, barely able to register what the person in front of her was saying. When she walked away smiling, Jamie
felt her shoulders slump in relief only to tense right back up when the next person stepped up.
This was a bad idea. She couldn't do this. She didn't care if they sued her and demanded that she give all the money back.
She just couldn't do this. This wasn't her life and she didn't want it to be, not anymore, and definitely not after last night. She
needed to go home to her small lonely apartment and resign herself to the fact that she was meant to be alone forever.
"Excuse me," she said, her voice shaking as she stood up and knocked her chair over. She felt her face burn as every head
turned in her direction with looks of amusement and confusion.
Why the heck hadn't she snuck out of her room this morning and made a run for it? She wanted to, planned to, but just as
she grabbed her bag Nick banged on her door and demanded that she get her buns going so they could prepare for this morning,
but nothing, not the three hour lecture or the pointers that he gave her had prepared her for this. She hoped that she'd be able to
deal once she sat down at the small table covered with stacks of her books, but she'd been wrong, so wrong.
The moment she stepped into the large ballroom she felt the same discomfort she'd felt last night when she'd stepped into
the club. All day yesterday and up until last night she'd felt excited and even giddy at the prospect of trying new things. That all
ended the moment she stepped into the club.
Within seconds she realized that she didn't belong, but wouldn't allow herself to leave. As she made her way to the bar
she prayed that no one would notice her, but they sure banged into her. Once she found a seat she sat down and refused to
leave. After thirty minutes she somehow managed to grab the bartender's attention and got a drink, because by that point she'd
needed sugar, badly.
All of her excitement and plans ended the moment she saw the dance floor. She'd been intrigued even as she felt her
newfound self-esteem deflate. She didn't know how to dance and was too scared to give it a try and she wanted to, so badly,
but couldn't bring herself to take a risk. She was weak and as pathetic as Caitlyn said and this whole experience proved it.
"Are you okay?" the older woman standing in front of her asked with grandmotherly concern that should have eased some
of her panic, but it didn't. She needed to get out of here now.
"Excuse me," she said, swallowing as she took a step back. "I-I just need a drink of
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