Read Online Hex Appeal by Linda Wisdom - Free Book Online Page B

she could handle that. Not that Dweezil had anything to recommend him in the looks department, but a morose Dweezil was downright scary.
    â€œWhat has me going?” he repeated. “Just the worst thing in the world. I’ve lost some of my best clients. It was bad enough that you lodged a complaint against Tyge Foulshadow and he was banished to the Realm of the Undesirables.” His voice ended up on a high note. For a moment the windows shimmered as if they’d shatter from the sound. His normal raspy ground glass voice could cause a person’s head to pound. When he was upset, well, ears had been known to bleed.
    â€œGee, D. I’m so sorry I lost you your favorite client just because the oozy grotesque arranged to have me captured by an insane creature who wanted to keep me for a sex pet while he drained my boyfriend of all his blood. I guess if I was a better person I would have let bygones be bygones. Not! Foulshadow deserved everything he got and more.”
    â€œBut he paid in gold bars!”
    She winced at the assault on her eardrums. “D? Can you lower it a few million decibels? I swear that voice could cause a stroke.” Jazz pulled her earlobes. “Listen. You’ll just have to get over it. I don’t think he’ll be leaving that realm anytime soon.”
    Dweezil fumed. “And it gets worse. You can’t imagine what’s been going on here.” His voice grew shriller by the moment.
    â€œNo, but I’m sure you’re going to tell me.”
    â€œIt’s that elf bitch! She’s stealing all my business!” Dweezil snarled and began pacing the length of his office with short jerky steps. This wasn’t easy considering he was seven feet tall with an olive-colored body that resembled a dead asparagus with a messy mud brown thatch of hair on top that looked as if it had been stuck on by a preschooler in arts and crafts class. He paused by one of the shelves and plucked off an ancient Greek dildo. He made strange crooning sounds, stroking the worn leather surface lovingly, seeming to use the erotic tool as a pacifier. A small ripple showed under the fine wool of his specially tailored Armani jacket, slithering its way downward.
    If Dweezil’s third hand ended up anywhere near his second dick, she was so out of there!
    â€œUh, D, what did we agree on about using the B word?” She kept her gaze focused on a point just past his left ear which was turning a deeper shade of olive-green the more agitated he became.
    The burnt-almond scent again flared throughout the room and he bared his yellowish-green jagged teeth at her. She bared her pearly whites back at him, and he started to swear. Whenever he got this upset, the odor not only became more foul, but so did his language, which was usually limited to the F word.
    â€œ Dweezil! ” Jazz shouted.
    He jumped, dropping the dildo at the same time his hidden third arm whipped out of his pants and returned to its hidden sleeve inside his jacket. He glared at her then picked the sex toy up, tenderly transferring the object to the shelf. Jazz tried to generate some anger, but felt pity for the great lout instead.
    â€œOkay, can we get back to your so-called problem.” She held up her hand to stave off his protest. “Fine, traumatic event. How do you know Mindy is cutting into your business?”
    Dweezil returned to his desk, dropping down onto his black leather chair. “Ficus told me he saw Kreen at The Crypt and he left in a brand new black Hummer limo.” His black eyes glowed with a strange yellow light where the irises would have been.
    Jazz knew Kreen to be a vampire with a penchant for sweet young things. He rated second on her list of Who I Want To See Torn Into Tiny Pieces. “And you don’t have a Hummer limo, new or otherwise.” She glanced at his collection of vintage erotica and sex toys. “Don’t be so cheap, Dweezil, and get