I’d had upon first entering.
“What does that mean? Is it going to try to scare her enough to drive her away or something?” Jet asked exactly what I had been thinking, but couldn’t find the words to say because my voice seemed clamped off at the moment by fear. “And why would it be searching inside of me?”
Val glanced around as though she could sense something we couldn’t. “Not to scare her away, no. She’s come too far to turn back now. Emotions are what Purgatory feeds off of. Sort of like a power source.”
Val’s answer fueled the flame of terror already burning within me even more. Purgatory was feeding off me now? I brought my eyes up to her and noticed hers were literally flashing, going from bright to dull in a quick rhythm. Was this how she tracked souls? Did it mean the soul she was searching for was close?
Val’s vibrantly colored eyes snapped directly to Jet. “And as for why it was searching inside you…well, one can only assume it’s because the soul you seek is here, too.”
Jet’s brows furrowed together as his eyes narrowed. “The soul I seek?”
“Mmmhmm…” Val muttered, that distant gleam coming back into her eyes.
“But I’m not searching for any soul. I came here for Rowan,” he insisted, and I wondered if that was the truth or if he was simply trying to convince himself by saying the words out loud.
Had he come here with the hope that what I was about to do could be done for him as well, just like I had?
Val’s lips twisted into a wicked grin. “Sometimes our subconscious searches for things without telling us.”
Jet released me as his eyes dropped to the whiteness we stood on. His lips pinched together and his expression hardened. It was true. He had come here with some sort of hope that everything I had said could be done for him as well. Even if he was just now realizing it, it was true. The fear I had felt was nudged to the side by sadness for him—for us. If everything happened the way that I intended and I was given my life back, not only would I be losing Jet, but I would also be forcing him to resent me forever.
“I’m sorry,” I said, knowing that those two words didn’t even begin to scratch the surface in describing how I felt about the situation.
Jet’s stance stiffened. “Don’t be. I’m doing this for you because this is torture .”
His emphasis on his last word stabbed at me like tiny daggers. “What is?”
“Us. The way we are. I’ve questioned myself a million times on what I prefer most, the way we are now or the way that we were before, when you were still alive. At least then I could spend more time with you. Fate had yet to interfere and keep you away from me every chance it could.” He turned to face me. His eyes glistened, becoming the brightest thing I could see. “I know I couldn’t feel you back then.” He took me into his arms and I leaned against him, relishing in the feel of his touch. How could I go through with this? How could I be selfish enough to allow him to see me through this? Doubts latched onto the panic flooding my soul, making me second-guess everything. “Not really, but at least I could be around you,” he continued.
“But, what if I don’t remember you? What if I can’t see you again because I won’t be a Reaper? I won’t be a Link… I won’t be anything.”
“We’ll figure it out. Promise.”
I opened my mouth to say how horrible I still felt about dragging him with me, but before I could, our surroundings shifted.
“Purgatory knows who you’re searching for…and now the fun begins,” Val muttered, and I could hear the smile etched into her words without having to see it.
I watched as everything around us changed to a solid white. We were standing in the middle of a blank canvas, and I began to worry about what would be painted upon it, what horribleness Purgatory would create.
CHAPTER EIGHT
As the whiteness washed away, the inside of a bedroom grew up
“What does that mean? Is it going to try to scare her enough to drive her away or something?” Jet asked exactly what I had been thinking, but couldn’t find the words to say because my voice seemed clamped off at the moment by fear. “And why would it be searching inside of me?”
Val glanced around as though she could sense something we couldn’t. “Not to scare her away, no. She’s come too far to turn back now. Emotions are what Purgatory feeds off of. Sort of like a power source.”
Val’s answer fueled the flame of terror already burning within me even more. Purgatory was feeding off me now? I brought my eyes up to her and noticed hers were literally flashing, going from bright to dull in a quick rhythm. Was this how she tracked souls? Did it mean the soul she was searching for was close?
Val’s vibrantly colored eyes snapped directly to Jet. “And as for why it was searching inside you…well, one can only assume it’s because the soul you seek is here, too.”
Jet’s brows furrowed together as his eyes narrowed. “The soul I seek?”
“Mmmhmm…” Val muttered, that distant gleam coming back into her eyes.
“But I’m not searching for any soul. I came here for Rowan,” he insisted, and I wondered if that was the truth or if he was simply trying to convince himself by saying the words out loud.
Had he come here with the hope that what I was about to do could be done for him as well, just like I had?
Val’s lips twisted into a wicked grin. “Sometimes our subconscious searches for things without telling us.”
Jet released me as his eyes dropped to the whiteness we stood on. His lips pinched together and his expression hardened. It was true. He had come here with some sort of hope that everything I had said could be done for him as well. Even if he was just now realizing it, it was true. The fear I had felt was nudged to the side by sadness for him—for us. If everything happened the way that I intended and I was given my life back, not only would I be losing Jet, but I would also be forcing him to resent me forever.
“I’m sorry,” I said, knowing that those two words didn’t even begin to scratch the surface in describing how I felt about the situation.
Jet’s stance stiffened. “Don’t be. I’m doing this for you because this is torture .”
His emphasis on his last word stabbed at me like tiny daggers. “What is?”
“Us. The way we are. I’ve questioned myself a million times on what I prefer most, the way we are now or the way that we were before, when you were still alive. At least then I could spend more time with you. Fate had yet to interfere and keep you away from me every chance it could.” He turned to face me. His eyes glistened, becoming the brightest thing I could see. “I know I couldn’t feel you back then.” He took me into his arms and I leaned against him, relishing in the feel of his touch. How could I go through with this? How could I be selfish enough to allow him to see me through this? Doubts latched onto the panic flooding my soul, making me second-guess everything. “Not really, but at least I could be around you,” he continued.
“But, what if I don’t remember you? What if I can’t see you again because I won’t be a Reaper? I won’t be a Link… I won’t be anything.”
“We’ll figure it out. Promise.”
I opened my mouth to say how horrible I still felt about dragging him with me, but before I could, our surroundings shifted.
“Purgatory knows who you’re searching for…and now the fun begins,” Val muttered, and I could hear the smile etched into her words without having to see it.
I watched as everything around us changed to a solid white. We were standing in the middle of a blank canvas, and I began to worry about what would be painted upon it, what horribleness Purgatory would create.
CHAPTER EIGHT
As the whiteness washed away, the inside of a bedroom grew up
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