Read Online Here to Stay by Suanne Laqueur - Free Book Online Page B

was defensive at the time but looking back now, she knew me better than I knew myself. Which sucks.”
    Will grunted. “Self-realization usually does.”
    “Did you have anyone serious? At all?”
    “Not really,” Will said. “Anytime something started to turn serious, it started to rub me wrong. Love made me anxious. Then again, everything was making me anxious at that point. So I did the obvious thing and ran away to Europe.”
    “Anxiety travels in your luggage.”
    “No shit.”
    Erik waited for Will to take the bait, maybe talk about his breakdown in Germany. But the hook went untouched.
    “So what will you do now?” Will said. “About Dais, I mean.”
    Erik dug his hands further in his pockets. “Half of me wants to resign by phone and let my landlord have a yard sale. The other half knows I can’t just bail. So I’ll stay for Christmas. Ring in the New Year if she’ll have me. Then decide what next.”
    “Stay through New Year’s, then go home? Try it long-distance?”
    “I can’t see that being too sustainable, but… I mean, you tell me. Am I insane to just drop my life in Brockport and come here?”
    “Is your life really in Brockport?” Will asked.
    “True.”
    “You want to wait another year or two while you guys date or some shit? Just because it looks sensible on paper?”
    “I could say I should stay close to my mother, but she’s in Florida half the year and she has Fred. I could argue I want to be close to Pete, but he has Laura and the kids. Nobody in New York is depending on me to stay.” He looked at Will for validation but Will wasn’t there.
    Erik turned. Will had stopped at a storefront and was peering into the window. He looked over at Erik and beckoned with his chin.
    Erik went. It was a jewelry store. Will touched the glass with a gloved fingertip, pointing to a white mannequin head. Its chin was turned aside to show off a thin gold chain at the neck, off which hung a tiny gold fish. Not a carved bob like Erik’s charm but flat, no bigger than his little fingernail. Next to it hung a single freshwater pearl.
    Erik looked at his friend, then back at the necklace.
    “I don’t believe in coincidences,” Will said.
    The bell on the jamb tinkled as Erik pushed the door open and walked into the perfumed warmth of the shop.

“THINGS GOING ALL RIGHT with Will?” Daisy asked that night in bed.
    “Yeah,” he said. “Yeah, it’s good.”
    “What do you talk about?”
    “Oh God, all kinds of shit. You. Me. Us. Life. Parenthood.” He told her about the boy and the condoms in the drug store.
    “You know he and Lucky didn’t plan this third baby,” she said. “After Sara, they were done. One boy, one girl, they were set. So Lucky got an implant. Eighteen months later…surprise.”
    “Holy shit. Will must have sneezed really hard one night.”
    She laughed. “It wasn’t exactly joyful when they found out. It was definitely a decision to have it, not a no-brainer.”
    He turned onto his side. “Lie against my back?” he asked.
    She snugged up to his shoulder blades, her hand coming around to rest on his heart. Bastet jumped on the bed and settled between their calves, kneading the mattress and purring.
    Erik took a deep breath. “Something I want to talk about.”
    “All right,” she said.
    “The other night?”
    “Which night. We have several now.”
    He threaded his fingers with hers. “The first night I was here. When I asked if you needed me to use something.”
    “I’m on the pill.”
    “I know. But what if you hadn’t been?”
    “Ah.” She kissed his head and gently closed her teeth on the top of his ear. “You mean would I trap you into staying by getting pregnant?”
    “Well, I’m staying anyway,” he said, while his mind bit its nails.
    Quit fucking around and tell her.
    He sighed. Did he have to?
    Yes. Now. Everything on the table.
    “That’s your troubled sigh,” Daisy said.
    He smiled. “You remember.”
    “Qu’est-ce qui se