Read Online Here to Stay by Margot Early - Free Book Online

she ever hesitated? It was what they needed, what she needed to reassure herself, to go into this marriage full tilt, absolutely certain, the way she wanted to.
    June 19, 1969
Cathedral of the Immaculate Conception, Kansas City

    S ISSY STOOD in a tiny room off the vestibule, ready.
    Dressed, at least.
    Kennedy had perfected every last detail from seamed stockings and garter belt and tissue-delicate bra and panties to a dress nearly fit for the goddess Athena, a wreath of flowers for a veil over her long, straight hair. Yes, Sissy knew she looked spectacular.
    But she was not ready.
    She clung to Kennedy’s hand on which sat a wedding band and engagement ring from the extremely suitable obstetrician, Gerry Fischer, with whom Kennedy was deliriously happy.
    Her older sister’s eyes focused on Sissy’s as the mother of the bride entered the room. “Everyone’s waiting, dear. Are you ready?”
    Kennedy seemed to read the panic in Sissy’s eyes. “Yes. Go sit down, Mother. That’s your job right now.”
    “Sissy, we’re all so happy for you.”
    But Heloise Atherton didn’t sound happy. To Sissy’s ears, she sounded threatening. Two days earlier, Sissy had dared to tell her mother she was having second thoughts about Clark.
    Her mother had told her firmly that such feelings were natural and Sissy should ignore them.
    Now Kennedy told their mother, “Mom, please go sit down. The procession can’t begin while the mother of the bride is back here.”
    Sissy relaxed slightly. Kennedy knows I’m freaked.
    With obvious reluctance and a phony embrace, her mother declared, “The next time I hug you, you’ll be Mrs. Clark Treffinger-Hart!” She then left the little room, failing to shut the door behind her.
    Kennedy pushed it shut. “Are you all right?”
    Sissy shook her head. “Kennedy, I can’t do this.” She wasn’t going to tell her sister that three nights earlier she had made love—well, had sexual intercourse—with Clark in his room in the house where he’d grown up, creeping back to her guest room afterward. Last night she had stayed with Gerry and Kennedy in their big brick Colonial-style house so that Clark would not see her the morning of the wedding. Sissy had hated being intimate with Clark, feeling frozen, realizing the whole time she didn’t want to be doing this. I definitely don’t want to do this for the rest of my life with this man.
    Kennedy gazed into Sissy’s eyes. “You mean that, don’t you?”
    “Everyone’s going to hate me. I’m so sorry!”
    “No,” Kennedy said. “You never will be.” She embraced Sissy, still careful not to smudge their makeup. “Honey, I love Gerry to pieces, but marriage is just too hard to do with someone you don’t love that much.”
    “Mom’s going to die,” Sissy said.
    “Oh, she might try to kill you ,” Kennedy answeredwith a smile, “but she definitely won’t die of this. If you ran off with Elijah Workman, that might kill her….”
    Hairs rose all over Sissy’s body. Along with the vision of somehow getting out of this wedding, she had entertained ideas of running off with Elijah. Truthfully she wouldn’t give a damn if they were married. They could go raise Salukis in the Sahara desert for all she cared, but it would be exciting and fun, and she would feel free. Because nothing about Elijah belonged to the constraining world in which she now found herself a near-prisoner. “What makes you say that?” she asked Kennedy uneasily. Let it be me.
    Kennedy gave her a sudden, sharp look. “I didn’t mean anything. It’s just Mom was falling over herself at the party at Clark’s club to let Elijah know how completely taken you were, as though the fact it was an engagement party didn’t really get the message across.” Her eyes flashed away from possibilities she evidently decided were too disturbing to entertain.
    “Look, honey. You wait right here. I’m going to find Jackie—” Clark’s sister “—and tell her what’s