Read Online Her Darkest Nightmare by Brenda Novak - Free Book Online

either. Maybe Trooper Murphy was seven years younger, and maybe they had nothing in common, but this was an accomplishment, a release, one of the best moments of her life. And it was happening in remote Alaska, in the place she’d cursed almost every day since coming here.
    Amarok didn’t seem to notice that his dog had followed them into the room. He was too focused on her, too determined to bring her to climax. This was nothing like what she’d experienced with Jasper—even before the violence, when they were first experimenting. It hadn’t been bad back then, but there’d been more fumbling than pleasure. Now that she understood how lonely life could be going solo all the time, how close she’d come to shutting off her own sexuality, she valued the sensations pouring through her that much more.
    â€œI’m shaking,” she whispered.
    â€œI’ve noticed,” he said.
    â€œBut it’s a crazy good kind of shaking.”
    â€œI can tell.” He fed off her excitement, and she fed off his.
    â€œTake me now.” If they joined quickly, she’d have less chance of building up any resistance to the idea, less chance of backing out. She wanted to make sure it didn’t boil down to that.
    He let her strip away the snow pants he’d donned to go outside and removed his own shirt.
    The first time his bare chest touched hers, she got butterflies. But then his erection pressed against her stomach and she experienced something else, something akin to fear. She was sure it would ruin everything, but after he put on a condom he didn’t roll her beneath him as she expected. He let go of her and shifted onto his back. “I’m ready when you are,” he said.
    He expected her to take charge? Could she do it? Could she go through with it?
    Her heart threatened to pound right out of her chest as she straddled him. She could feel his hands gripping her thighs, guiding her, encouraging her. But when his hard shaft brushed her bottom she froze.
    â€œYou’re almost there,” he said. “You’ve got this.”
    He didn’t act as if he’d press her if she didn’t want to continue. That helped. He was being careful to make sure she retained some power in this exchange, some control.
    â€œI want you,” she whispered. That was true in spite of the fear, in spite of her sudden resistance.
    â€œThen you know what to do,” he said. “Or you can wait. It’s your choice. There’s no rush.”
    Did he really think they’d have another opportunity? She had no faith in that. She had to finish this tonight, while she was out of her element. She was so close.
    But no matter how hard she tried, she couldn’t make herself take him inside her. A sudden rush of panic paralyzed her as quickly as a shot of succinylcholine chloride.
    â€œAmarok?” she choked out his name as if he could help her, but she wasn’t sure what he could do. Encouraging her would only make things worse. She was already breaking into a cold sweat, felt as if she were somehow outside of her body watching the previous excitement unravel in the most disappointing and humiliating way.
    â€œIt’s okay,” he whispered. “It doesn’t have to happen now.”
    She’d failed. She’d wanted it so badly, but the memories were too much for her. Even if she wasn’t thinking of Jasper consciously, even if she was doing everything possible to convince herself there was no connection between what had happened so long ago and what was happening now, there was resistance on such a base level she couldn’t overcome it.
    Tears rolled down her cheeks as she climbed off him. She wanted to head back to her room, where she could recover alone, but he caught her hand.
    â€œStay.”
    â€œI’m sorry. I knew this could happen—”
    â€œAnd you warned me. It’s fine. We’ll sleep. Come here.” He coaxed her into